LOL

 My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory ,

     but I got canned . I could not concentrate .

2. Then, I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack,

     but just couldn't hack it  - so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it

    --mainly because it was a sew-sew job, and people liked to hem and haw about the price.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory,

    but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, I tried being a Chef - figured it would add a

    little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker,

    but any way I sliced it.... I couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found

    I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but

   didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.

    I tried hard but just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman,

      but I couldn't live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool

      Maintenance Company, but the work was just too

     draining.

12. So then I got a job in a  Workout  Center ,

       but they said I wasn't fit for the job..

13. After many years of trying to find steady work ,

      I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized

     there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks,

      but had to quit because it was the same old grind.

15 . SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT

AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE

JOB ---