Wednesday, 30 December 2015
Chayenu Miracle!
I would like to share an inspiring story which happened this week @Chayenu, along the lines of large donations coming from unexpected sources, way more than the Keli we make and also powerful on other levels:
Yossi Pels, the Exec. Director got an email a few weeks ago saying something like "Please unsubscribe me. I love Chayenu, its a wonderful publication but I simply don't have the time for it...".
Wisely, rather than just follow their instructions he countered.
But not before researching who this past-subscriber was, googling them etc.
Turns out to be a wealthy family.
So he writes back: it seems that while you may not have the time, you do have the resources. Well, we have many Jewish inmates who have plenty time to study Chayenu but no resources. So he suggested a trade. Or partnership.
They were inspired by the approach he took and expressed interest. He told them we have 190 inmates yet to be sponsored.
They pledged to send a check.
This past Sunday, a check arrived, covering the Chayenu subscription costs of ALL 190 JEWISH INMATES!!
Approximately $18K !
All this, from an "unsubscribe " email turned into a major donor
😃
Definitely miraculous and Rebbe koichois, but also a lesson in how to turn a No into a Big Yes.Love such stories!!
Yossi Pels, the Exec. Director got an email a few weeks ago saying something like "Please unsubscribe me. I love Chayenu, its a wonderful publication but I simply don't have the time for it...".
Wisely, rather than just follow their instructions he countered.
But not before researching who this past-subscriber was, googling them etc.
Turns out to be a wealthy family.
So he writes back: it seems that while you may not have the time, you do have the resources. Well, we have many Jewish inmates who have plenty time to study Chayenu but no resources. So he suggested a trade. Or partnership.
They were inspired by the approach he took and expressed interest. He told them we have 190 inmates yet to be sponsored.
They pledged to send a check.
This past Sunday, a check arrived, covering the Chayenu subscription costs of ALL 190 JEWISH INMATES!!
Approximately $18K !
All this, from an "unsubscribe " email turned into a major donor
😃
Definitely miraculous and Rebbe koichois, but also a lesson in how to turn a No into a Big Yes.Love such stories!!
Labor Of Love
My mother gave me some sage advice when I got married, which I'm sure you've all heard before, but she said it in a way that I had never heard it before. She said that marriage is called a 'labor of love' not because it is laborious to love the other, but because all of the labor that we do for one another must be done with love...over and over again. It is in the little things. "Like the way you give him tea," she said. "Don't just plop it down in front of him...set it down lovingly and say, 'Hey sweetie - here is your tea.'"
I see praying to G-d in a similar light. I must labor to beg him with the utmost sincerity and love over and over again for the same thing - which, as in a marriage, can become mundane. The 'labor' is in making it fresh and real and meaningful.
Every. Single. Time.
Jodi Sugar quoting Rivka Pesha. (Jodi's website is http://www.ajewishcalendar.com)
I see praying to G-d in a similar light. I must labor to beg him with the utmost sincerity and love over and over again for the same thing - which, as in a marriage, can become mundane. The 'labor' is in making it fresh and real and meaningful.
Every. Single. Time.
Jodi Sugar quoting Rivka Pesha. (Jodi's website is http://www.ajewishcalendar.com)
I Talked ToG-d Story Of A Mom Of 17
❤ Wow What A Story!❤
I talked to God; I said I didn’t know who my mother and father were, but that now the Holy One would have to be both my mother and my father."
Tikkun, the Hebrew word for repair, is often used in the expression tikkun olam, the value of repairing the world. But tikkun can be intensely personal, and become the framework of a meaningful life.Rarely have I seen this displayed so clearly as in the story of Jerusalemite Ruth Zvi.
She’s the mother of 17 children. That’s right, 17.
She and three sisters were given away by parents who felt they had too many children. They kept their sons. I meet Ruth, now 60, at Hadassah University Medical Center, where she’s a volunteer for Ezer Mizion. Ruth is one of those pleasant religious women who pass out sandwiches to the families of hospital patients. What would you like, tuna or cheese? She’s never in a hurry. Five – or, as she says, “only five” of her children are still living at home. And she does attend all the birthday parties and end-of-year celebrations for her 31 grandchildren thus far, but still has time to schmooze. We meet at the kiosk where I buy my daily gelato in the hospital mall. Her son Israel (No. 7) co-owns the Aldo concession, and tops my frozen yogurt with a dollop of mint chocolate chip. “I don’t remember myself before moving to Jerusalem,” reveals Ruth, who has brown embracing eyes and an easy smile. She would learn later in life that she was born in Tel Aviv’s Hatikva quarter. She ate scraps that fell from the table, a toddler Cinderella. At age three, when she was adopted, she couldn’t yet walk or talk. Adoption was less regulated back then. A woman, representing an NGO that wanted to rescue underprivileged children, had heard about Ruth’s family. She became the daughter of Rabbi and Rebbetzin C., an older childless couple from Poland who’d lost their large families in the Shoah. They longed for children, and were willing to take this neglected, backwards little girl. They lived in the Geula neighborhood of Jerusalem. Ruth’s new mother washed, clothed and fed her, and took her to get the required inoculations she hadn’t received as a baby. A middle name was added. She would henceforth be Ruth Miriam, for her adoptive mother’s murdered mom. “My mother was very strict, what you’d call a ‘Polish mother,’” recalls Ruth. “My father was warmer, although he never once kissed or hugged me. Somehow, he was able to express his parental affection without touching.” It didn’t occur to Ruth that her father’s never touching her had to do with religious restrictions on adopted children. She didn’t know she was adopted. Looking back, there were hints about her being adopted, but she didn’t pursue them. “My upbringing was such that questioning my mother would have been unthinkable.” Ruth learned to play the accordion, and was often the center of class parties. Her mother was somber. Ruth was darkskinned, with a Sephardi complexion; her mother was fair-skinned and looked typically Ashkenazi. “When people mentioned it, my mother said I looked like one of her sisters murdered in Poland. That was a conversation-stopper. I suppose all my neighbors and classmates knew I was adopted, but no one said anything.” Ruth was a teen when her best friend asked if she could tell her a secret. The friend made her promise she wouldn’t be angry. “And then she said it: ‘You’re adopted.’” Ruth informed her friend she had to leave. “She kept apologizing, but I explained that I wasn’t mad, I just needed to be alone.” Ruth walked and walked, her heart beating fast, her mind unable to fathom her new reality. She found herself at the Western Wall. “I talked to God; I said I didn’t know who my mother and father were, but that now the Holy One would have to be both my mother and my father. I went home and didn’t say a word to my parents.” Her mother guessed. “She worried that I wouldn’t mind her anymore. I assured her that nothing had changed.” When matchmaking began, among the men she met was a light-skinned, Sephardi yeshiva student named Elijah Zvi. “He was very short, but he seemed taller each time I met him. Like all the girls of my religious ilk, I was impressed that he wanted to study Torah. “ At the engagement, the groom’s father asked which ethnic group Ruth really belonged to. Rabbi C. shook his head: “We never speak of it,” he responded, and the subject was closed. The wedding took place in the Bais Yaakov Teachers’ Seminary where Ruth studied. Their married life began on Malchei Yisrael Street, near Mea She’arim. Elijah earned a small stipend as a yeshiva student and Ruth taught music in kindergartens. They soon had four daughters. One day, an item in a community newspaper mentioning the upcoming nuptials of a couple named Nachum and Tova caught her eye. “I can’t explain it,” she remembers. “I had a feeling they had something to do with me.” Elijah knew Nachum and spotted him at prayer services in a neighborhood synagogue. “A girl was waiting for him outside and she looked a little like you,” he observed. He suggested inviting them to their home. Ruth recognized her strong resemblance to Tova, but didn’t say anything. Eventually, the two women joyfully acknowledged their sisterhood. Tova’s parents had told her from the beginning that she was adopted. “She’d opened the file and was in touch with our biological parents. She kept urging me to meet them, too.” Ruth and Elijah finally went to see the man and woman who had given Ruth and her sisters away. “I went for the first and last time,” recounts Ruth. “My biological mother hardly acknowledged me; she was like a fossil. My father tried to pretend he always wanted to get be back. I had four daughters by then and the thought of my parents giving away four daughters was more than I could cope with.” She was clear on one subject: No matter how many children she and Elijah had, they would bring them up with love. Ruth gave birth 18 times (one stillborn child) in 24 years. Her widowed adoptive mother, the sole survivor of her family – who couldn’t have biological children and took a chance on this abandoned, backward child – was always by her side, helping her with the children. Rebbetzin C. got to help bring up the first 11 children before she died. “My adoptive parents had their own ideas of child-rearing – today they might not be recommended – but they gave me enormous strength, confidence and self-reliance,” she asserts. “There were plenty of difficult periods, never extra money or enough personal space for the children. But today I have eight sons and nine daughters, and they’re all terrific. Twelve are married; they’re all educated and hold down good jobs.” Her son Israel recalls how tough times sometimes were, but that they were never hungry – even if they slept on mattresses in the living room. They’re still close today, often camping out to be together in their parents’ home. When her youngest child, “the best of all,” started first grade, Ruth went back to work as a house mother in a home for senior citizens. Today, at 60, she enthuses that she’s “at a great stage of life, fully enjoying myself.” She attends a variety of classes at the community center. Advice for childrearing? “Respect every child. Look beyond what he or she is wearing. Think of how my parents saved me. Compliment everything good they do, but don’t let a lie go undetected. I never did homework; that’s the child’s responsibility, not yours.” Life advice? “Don’t waste energy on over-thinking. Get on with what you want to do, and think of the positive.” Regrets? “As you might imagine, I didn’t hug and kiss my children enough – but I’m learning to do that with my grandchildren.That’s my personal tikkun... a lot of hugs and kisses
I talked to God; I said I didn’t know who my mother and father were, but that now the Holy One would have to be both my mother and my father."
Tikkun, the Hebrew word for repair, is often used in the expression tikkun olam, the value of repairing the world. But tikkun can be intensely personal, and become the framework of a meaningful life.Rarely have I seen this displayed so clearly as in the story of Jerusalemite Ruth Zvi.
She’s the mother of 17 children. That’s right, 17.
She and three sisters were given away by parents who felt they had too many children. They kept their sons. I meet Ruth, now 60, at Hadassah University Medical Center, where she’s a volunteer for Ezer Mizion. Ruth is one of those pleasant religious women who pass out sandwiches to the families of hospital patients. What would you like, tuna or cheese? She’s never in a hurry. Five – or, as she says, “only five” of her children are still living at home. And she does attend all the birthday parties and end-of-year celebrations for her 31 grandchildren thus far, but still has time to schmooze. We meet at the kiosk where I buy my daily gelato in the hospital mall. Her son Israel (No. 7) co-owns the Aldo concession, and tops my frozen yogurt with a dollop of mint chocolate chip. “I don’t remember myself before moving to Jerusalem,” reveals Ruth, who has brown embracing eyes and an easy smile. She would learn later in life that she was born in Tel Aviv’s Hatikva quarter. She ate scraps that fell from the table, a toddler Cinderella. At age three, when she was adopted, she couldn’t yet walk or talk. Adoption was less regulated back then. A woman, representing an NGO that wanted to rescue underprivileged children, had heard about Ruth’s family. She became the daughter of Rabbi and Rebbetzin C., an older childless couple from Poland who’d lost their large families in the Shoah. They longed for children, and were willing to take this neglected, backwards little girl. They lived in the Geula neighborhood of Jerusalem. Ruth’s new mother washed, clothed and fed her, and took her to get the required inoculations she hadn’t received as a baby. A middle name was added. She would henceforth be Ruth Miriam, for her adoptive mother’s murdered mom. “My mother was very strict, what you’d call a ‘Polish mother,’” recalls Ruth. “My father was warmer, although he never once kissed or hugged me. Somehow, he was able to express his parental affection without touching.” It didn’t occur to Ruth that her father’s never touching her had to do with religious restrictions on adopted children. She didn’t know she was adopted. Looking back, there were hints about her being adopted, but she didn’t pursue them. “My upbringing was such that questioning my mother would have been unthinkable.” Ruth learned to play the accordion, and was often the center of class parties. Her mother was somber. Ruth was darkskinned, with a Sephardi complexion; her mother was fair-skinned and looked typically Ashkenazi. “When people mentioned it, my mother said I looked like one of her sisters murdered in Poland. That was a conversation-stopper. I suppose all my neighbors and classmates knew I was adopted, but no one said anything.” Ruth was a teen when her best friend asked if she could tell her a secret. The friend made her promise she wouldn’t be angry. “And then she said it: ‘You’re adopted.’” Ruth informed her friend she had to leave. “She kept apologizing, but I explained that I wasn’t mad, I just needed to be alone.” Ruth walked and walked, her heart beating fast, her mind unable to fathom her new reality. She found herself at the Western Wall. “I talked to God; I said I didn’t know who my mother and father were, but that now the Holy One would have to be both my mother and my father. I went home and didn’t say a word to my parents.” Her mother guessed. “She worried that I wouldn’t mind her anymore. I assured her that nothing had changed.” When matchmaking began, among the men she met was a light-skinned, Sephardi yeshiva student named Elijah Zvi. “He was very short, but he seemed taller each time I met him. Like all the girls of my religious ilk, I was impressed that he wanted to study Torah. “ At the engagement, the groom’s father asked which ethnic group Ruth really belonged to. Rabbi C. shook his head: “We never speak of it,” he responded, and the subject was closed. The wedding took place in the Bais Yaakov Teachers’ Seminary where Ruth studied. Their married life began on Malchei Yisrael Street, near Mea She’arim. Elijah earned a small stipend as a yeshiva student and Ruth taught music in kindergartens. They soon had four daughters. One day, an item in a community newspaper mentioning the upcoming nuptials of a couple named Nachum and Tova caught her eye. “I can’t explain it,” she remembers. “I had a feeling they had something to do with me.” Elijah knew Nachum and spotted him at prayer services in a neighborhood synagogue. “A girl was waiting for him outside and she looked a little like you,” he observed. He suggested inviting them to their home. Ruth recognized her strong resemblance to Tova, but didn’t say anything. Eventually, the two women joyfully acknowledged their sisterhood. Tova’s parents had told her from the beginning that she was adopted. “She’d opened the file and was in touch with our biological parents. She kept urging me to meet them, too.” Ruth and Elijah finally went to see the man and woman who had given Ruth and her sisters away. “I went for the first and last time,” recounts Ruth. “My biological mother hardly acknowledged me; she was like a fossil. My father tried to pretend he always wanted to get be back. I had four daughters by then and the thought of my parents giving away four daughters was more than I could cope with.” She was clear on one subject: No matter how many children she and Elijah had, they would bring them up with love. Ruth gave birth 18 times (one stillborn child) in 24 years. Her widowed adoptive mother, the sole survivor of her family – who couldn’t have biological children and took a chance on this abandoned, backward child – was always by her side, helping her with the children. Rebbetzin C. got to help bring up the first 11 children before she died. “My adoptive parents had their own ideas of child-rearing – today they might not be recommended – but they gave me enormous strength, confidence and self-reliance,” she asserts. “There were plenty of difficult periods, never extra money or enough personal space for the children. But today I have eight sons and nine daughters, and they’re all terrific. Twelve are married; they’re all educated and hold down good jobs.” Her son Israel recalls how tough times sometimes were, but that they were never hungry – even if they slept on mattresses in the living room. They’re still close today, often camping out to be together in their parents’ home. When her youngest child, “the best of all,” started first grade, Ruth went back to work as a house mother in a home for senior citizens. Today, at 60, she enthuses that she’s “at a great stage of life, fully enjoying myself.” She attends a variety of classes at the community center. Advice for childrearing? “Respect every child. Look beyond what he or she is wearing. Think of how my parents saved me. Compliment everything good they do, but don’t let a lie go undetected. I never did homework; that’s the child’s responsibility, not yours.” Life advice? “Don’t waste energy on over-thinking. Get on with what you want to do, and think of the positive.” Regrets? “As you might imagine, I didn’t hug and kiss my children enough – but I’m learning to do that with my grandchildren.That’s my personal tikkun... a lot of hugs and kisses
Winning Essay Of Applied Chassidus So Inspiring!
An Awesome Essay Must Read!!!
Author Was The Winner Of
"Applied Chassidus Essay"
🌺 Pain and Suffering 🌺
by Mirel Deitsch
Can you go on with your life when hit over the head with tragedy? Can a mother who lost her child go on to be a functional human being? Can a man whose entire business is lost leaving him penniless still function as the leader of his family? Can a girl who lost her father as a mere thirteen-year-old go on to build her own family and be a positive person?
I grew up in a family where Chassidus is like a drug. The same way a father might suggest that his child take anti-depressants when necessary, my father would suggest to us, “Go learn chapter 22 of Tanya” or “Let’s review what Lihaskilcha Bina1 teaches us.” This is what got us through the tragedies that our family was hit with, not only to places where we can function normally, but to the point where we are happy people ourselves and we are able to bring happiness to others. What exactly does this “drug” do? Chassidus brings a whole new perspective to what pain and suffering really is and teaches us how a person can not only survive a tragedy, but thrive after it. Chassidus teaches that G-d is good and therefore everything that He does is good.
The Process
Step 1: Grieve the Tragedy
One year ago, on Ten Adar II, Rashi Minkowicz, a thirty seven year-old Chabad emissary, passed away suddenly leaving behind her beautiful family and many friends. Since I attended a Chabad high school, my entire school was reeling from shock. Some of us had been counselors in her daycamp. Both her mother and father were teachers in our school. After returning from her funeral, Rabbi Yosef Y. Jacobson came to talk to us and bring some order to all of us hysterical girls. He told a story of a wealthy Rabbi whose entire fortune lay in his fleet of ships. The Rabbi’s fleet of ships had been destroyed in a storm. Of course, no one wanted to be the one to break the news to the Rabbi. One of the Rabbi’s top students asked the Rabbi, “Is it true what you taught us, ‘Just as one recites a blessing for his good fortune, so must he also recite a blessing for his misfortune’?” The Rabbi said, “Yes, of course!” The student then asked, “Does this mean that the person must even dance after hearing about his misfortune?” The Rabbi replied, “Yes, of course.” “What if you found out that your fleet of ships had been destroyed? Would you rejoice and dance?” asked the student. “Yes, yes,” answered the Rabbi. “Well, start dancing…” said the student. To this the Rabbi fainted. When he came to, he said, “Suddenly I don’t understand the teaching that I taught you.”
Although the tragedies that happen to us are indeed blessings in disguise, as will be dicussed in Step 2, this concept is too difficult to internalize immediately. So first we grieve. The Torah understands that we are human and therefore set up a mourning process after death strikes. This is the first step. To grieve.
Step 2- Recognize the Source of the Tragedy
Chapter 26 of Tanya, the basis for Chassidus, explains this concept thoroughly: Our sages have advised: “Just as one recites a blessing for his good fortune, so must he also recite a blessing for his misfortune2.” Why? For it, too, is for the good, except that it is not apparent to mortal eyes, for it stems from the “hidden (spiritual) world,” which is higher than the “revealed (spiritual) world.”3 “Misfortunes” are actually blessings in disguise! They represent an even higher level of good than the revealed good, since they originate in a higher world.
"GPS for the Soul" by Rabbi Nadav Cohen gives some insight as to how this concept can possiby make any sense, "When a sick child is given bitter medicine, he cries, certain that his parents hate him… The deepest bond and the strongest, most powerful love is revealed specifically when the parents are causing their child discomfort in order to heal him…" We are limited human beings and therefore like a child we cannot see how our pain and suffering is for our good, but it is, for our Father in Heaven would never cause us needless pain.
If a person truly absorbs the above, he can be freed of all kinds of suffering. Depression, anxiety, worry, and stress can all be drowned out with feelings of trust in G-d, a good G-d who is entrusting him with a challenge that only seems bad to our mortal eyes and is in truth a path to come closer to G-d.
Mrs. Devorie Kreiman lost four children to a genetic disorder and then a fifth in an accident. In a talk about recovering from loss she said, “When I flew to New York for my daughter’s wedding, I was about to get into the taxi when I noticed that my little blue suitcase, which was supposed to contain lots of things for the wedding, looked a little different. My heart dropped, I opened it up, and there lay a bunch of college papers. I found an identification and switched the suitcases thank G-d. When you come off the plane and you’re looking at the carousal, do you think to yourself, ‘Oh, that designer suitcase looks nice… maybe I should take that one’? No! You want your old, torn-up suitcase because that’s the suitcase that has the clothes that fit you and the things needed for whatever you came on your trip to accomplish. The same thing is with the life you were given. G-d gives us lots of baggage, a life filled with tragedies and happy things, too. Everything happens for a purpose. The purpose is to live a meaningful life. To take everything in your suitcase and use it as a way to become closer to G-d.”4
This is the second step. After grieving, it’s time to discover where our troubles are coming from. To understand the basic concept of Divine providence, that anything happening in our lives, whether good or bad, is not just by chance, but rather G-d's plans. Our lives are perfectly packed "suitcases" that G-d Himself packed. Since G-d is the One who created us, surely He knows what our strengths and weaknesses are and wouldn't throw in anything He saw we couldn't handle. And then to come to a further understanding that G-d is good and the only reason something may seem bad is because it’s coming from “the hidden (spiritual) world,” where G-d’s light is in fact even greater than the light in the “revealed (spiritual) world,” it is just concealed to our mortal eyes. This means that not only are our misfortunes not random, but rather Divine providence, but they are in fact good! This second level of understanding is, of course, a lot harder to really internalize.
Step 3: Move On. Use the Tragedy as a Reason to Come Closer to G-d and Be a Better Person
Being that this misfortune is in fact from G-d’s greatest light, it can be used as a tool to come closer to G-d. Mrs. Kreiman told about a film she watched of an old Jew who returns to his broken home and starts to rebuild from the rubble, “As he’s rebuilding a stick is thrown at him. He takes the stick and uses it to build his home. Then a brick is thrown at him, and it hits him hard, but he uses it to help him rebuild his home.” We must use the stones that G-d throws at us as a way to rebuild. When the Jews were leaving Egypt, they came to the Yam Suf and the Egyptians were coming behind them. Some of them wanted to fight the Egyptians, some wished to commit suicide, some began to pray, and others were ready to surrender. G-d was not happy with any of these solutions and commanded, "Forge forward!" and they did and the sea split for them5. If only we can keep trucking after a tragedy, G-d will make great miracles for us.
Mrs. Lynda Fishman, a woman whose mother and two sisters were killed in an airplane accident when she was thirteen years old, said, “When a person gets lost on the road, will he stop and think about how and why he got lost? He’ll recalculate his G.P.S. and move on… Focus on the future… Move on… Dedicate your life to helping others… Not only will this distract you from the misery of your tragedy but it will make you happy because being fulfilled brings happiness… Focus on the revealed good in your life… Count your blessings.6”
Mrs. Fishman’s words are wise but it is important to focus this growth to spiritual growth. We now know that tragedies and misfortunes are really coming from G-d’s utmost goodness, therefore the tragedies we are faced with should be used to come closer to G-d. To do more Torah and mitzvos and strengthen our connection to our Father in Heaven.
Conclusion
When hit with misfortune: grieve it, remember where it came from- that in fact it is good because it is from the “hidden (spiritual) world,” and use it to move on and be a better, more spiritual person than before.
Disclaimer
This is only when it comes to one's own personal tragedy. When the person next to us is going through pain we have no right to start thinking “It’s G-d! G-d did this to him. In truth it’s good!” As the Baal Shem Tov said, “Everything comes from G-d. Even atheism comes from G-d! When should we be atheists? When another person is in pain.” When another person is in pain, we may not make calculations as to whether he should truly rejoice in his misfortune for it may in fact be a blessing in disguise… we have to remove G-d from the picture, and help him out in any way we can.7
My Inspiration
There are three things that must affect a person: money, alcohol, and Chassidus. If a person has money and doesn’t become crazy from it, give him a little more money and he’ll surely become crazy. If a person drinks alcohol and doesn’t become drunk, give him a little more alcohol and he’ll surely become drunk. If a person learns Chassidus and doesn’t become a happier, more refined person, give him some more Chassidus and he’ll surely be affected. Thank G-d I was given a father who learnt Chassidus, and learnt enough that it actually affected him and helped him deal with his losses. G-d gave my father a suitcase packed with many losses, starting with his father’s passing when he was fourteen years old, followed by the loss of four siblings. My father, to me, is living proof of what it means to take everything in this essay and make it real, to use Chassidus as a tool to be a happy person and make those around us happy too, despite tragedy. My inspiration for this essay is my father.
Read more MyLife Essays
Footnotes and Sources:
1. Chapter 11 of Igeres Hakodesh, Tanya
2. Yoma 23a
3. This has to do with the source of the worlds. The “hidden world” stems from the letters vav and hei of G-d’s name yud-hei-vav-hei, while the “revealed world” stems from the letters yud and hei.
4. TORAHCafe: Taking On The Impossible By: Mrs. Devorie Kreiman
5. Torahs Menachem Chelek Lamed Gimmel, Yud Shvat
6.TORAHCafe: Surviving and Thriving After Tragedy By: Mrs. Linda Fishman
7. TORAHCafe: Why Me G-d? Where Is G-d When it Hurts? By: Rabbi Yosef Y. Jacobson
What I want My Daughters To Know
What I want My Daughters To Know
Author unknown
1. Lady-like behavior is not weakness. It’s being gracious, kind, and hospitable. It’s having enough respect for yourself and consideration for others to dress modestly, speak kind words, and maintain self-control even when you’re angry. It’s difficult to be lady-like in today’s culture. But, it’s worth it.
2. Being a mother is an incredibly beautiful experience.
3. You should never date a man that you already know you shouldn’t marry. Every marriage began with a first date. If you know he is bad news, if you know you are incompatible, don’t go out on a date with him. Once you fall in love it’s hard to see clearly where your mistakes are being made.
4. Make it your goal to be healthy, not thin. There is more to life than dress size.
5. Don’t look to a man or me or any other human to give you a sense of worth. You are already worth more than all the fortunes of the world because Hashem made you and He loves you. If you depend on people to make you feel like you matter, you will be disappointed. But, Hashem never disappoints.
6. Life is too short to wear shoes that hurt your feet.
7. There will be things about your body that you will dislike for your entire life. Try not to obsess over them. Just remember that everyone else is too worried about their own bodies to think much about yours.
8. If you marry a dreamer, don’t kill his enthusiasm with negativity. Support his crazy ideas and love him through his successes and failures. Be his biggest cheerleader.
9. Setting conditions on your happiness will never lead to a happy life. Instead of thinking, “I’ll be happy once I get this or that,” determine to be happy where you are, as much as you can. It doesn’t matter what you drive or what kind of house you live in.
10. Crying is not the most effective way to get your point across, but if you are naturally a crier, embrace it. Let the tears flow, and don’t worry about what people think. All of the criers I’ve ever known endeared themselves to me immediately. (And, you come from a long line of criers.)
11. Try new things as often as possible, even if you’re scared. And especially if you can prove to someone that you’re not scared.
12. Women age faster than men do, especially if we birth and raise children. Men look distinguished as they age. Try not to let it bother you. The bright side is that we live longer.
13. Try to be sympathetic to the plight of men. If you marry a good one, he will work hard his whole life to take care of you. He will walk through the house at night, making sure that everyone is safe. Yes, even in this age of women who claim they don’t need to be looked after, he will feel responsible for keeping you and your children alive and happy. This is a heavy burden to bear, and one that women overlook too often.
14. Obsessing over housework is not only unpleasant for your family, but it makes others afraid to invite you over. Find a happy medium, and keep a neat house without letting it rule your lives.
15. It isn’t true that you don’t need friends once you are married. Keep close friendships with other women throughout all of the phases of your life.
16. It’s easy to get a martyr complex when you’re a mother. Don’t do it. Everyone you know is working hard and doing things that they don’t want to do on a regular basis. It’s part of being a grown up human.
18. Don’t be afraid to love people. Women naturally feel things deeply, but too much fear of being hurt will keep us from giving ourselves away for the people we care about. You may get hurt. Love anyway.
19. Try to find the delicate balance between humility and confidence. Humility comes from knowing your own tendencies to sin; confidence comes from trusting that Hashem can do great things through you. Women have a special gift for striking this balance.
20. Hashem made you who you are for a purpose. He will use your unique gifts. Be grateful, love Him well, and trust Him to make you a woman with a heart like His.
Author unknown
1. Lady-like behavior is not weakness. It’s being gracious, kind, and hospitable. It’s having enough respect for yourself and consideration for others to dress modestly, speak kind words, and maintain self-control even when you’re angry. It’s difficult to be lady-like in today’s culture. But, it’s worth it.
2. Being a mother is an incredibly beautiful experience.
3. You should never date a man that you already know you shouldn’t marry. Every marriage began with a first date. If you know he is bad news, if you know you are incompatible, don’t go out on a date with him. Once you fall in love it’s hard to see clearly where your mistakes are being made.
4. Make it your goal to be healthy, not thin. There is more to life than dress size.
5. Don’t look to a man or me or any other human to give you a sense of worth. You are already worth more than all the fortunes of the world because Hashem made you and He loves you. If you depend on people to make you feel like you matter, you will be disappointed. But, Hashem never disappoints.
6. Life is too short to wear shoes that hurt your feet.
7. There will be things about your body that you will dislike for your entire life. Try not to obsess over them. Just remember that everyone else is too worried about their own bodies to think much about yours.
8. If you marry a dreamer, don’t kill his enthusiasm with negativity. Support his crazy ideas and love him through his successes and failures. Be his biggest cheerleader.
9. Setting conditions on your happiness will never lead to a happy life. Instead of thinking, “I’ll be happy once I get this or that,” determine to be happy where you are, as much as you can. It doesn’t matter what you drive or what kind of house you live in.
10. Crying is not the most effective way to get your point across, but if you are naturally a crier, embrace it. Let the tears flow, and don’t worry about what people think. All of the criers I’ve ever known endeared themselves to me immediately. (And, you come from a long line of criers.)
11. Try new things as often as possible, even if you’re scared. And especially if you can prove to someone that you’re not scared.
12. Women age faster than men do, especially if we birth and raise children. Men look distinguished as they age. Try not to let it bother you. The bright side is that we live longer.
13. Try to be sympathetic to the plight of men. If you marry a good one, he will work hard his whole life to take care of you. He will walk through the house at night, making sure that everyone is safe. Yes, even in this age of women who claim they don’t need to be looked after, he will feel responsible for keeping you and your children alive and happy. This is a heavy burden to bear, and one that women overlook too often.
14. Obsessing over housework is not only unpleasant for your family, but it makes others afraid to invite you over. Find a happy medium, and keep a neat house without letting it rule your lives.
15. It isn’t true that you don’t need friends once you are married. Keep close friendships with other women throughout all of the phases of your life.
16. It’s easy to get a martyr complex when you’re a mother. Don’t do it. Everyone you know is working hard and doing things that they don’t want to do on a regular basis. It’s part of being a grown up human.
18. Don’t be afraid to love people. Women naturally feel things deeply, but too much fear of being hurt will keep us from giving ourselves away for the people we care about. You may get hurt. Love anyway.
19. Try to find the delicate balance between humility and confidence. Humility comes from knowing your own tendencies to sin; confidence comes from trusting that Hashem can do great things through you. Women have a special gift for striking this balance.
20. Hashem made you who you are for a purpose. He will use your unique gifts. Be grateful, love Him well, and trust Him to make you a woman with a heart like His.
The Blessing Of Self Sacrifice What A Mindblowing Story!
The Blessing of Self-Sacrifice
When a person is willing to sacrifice of himself to help others, it brings blessing and salvation. The following story, which took place about five years ago, was told by Rav Chaim Zayad from Yeshivat Nachalat Shelomo in Bnei Brak and was printed in a magazine called Sha'ah Tova.
One of the Rabbi's students, whose name is Uriel, was diagnosed at the age of 22 with a brain tumor,לא עלינו. Uriel was sent to France for treatment, but the doctors there were unable to control the disease. They told the family that there is nothing left to do.
Nevertheless, the family did not give up. They consulted with many people and eventually got in touch with a bikur cholim society in a major city in the United States. They were given the name of a "Professor Rich" who was swiftly gaining a reputation for a unique treatment that offered hope to patients who other experts had already given up on.
The treatment involved an operation, and his fee was a staggering $130,000. The family had no way of coming up with that kind of money. Also, it was determined that the patient was too weak to travel; that meant that Professor Rich would have to be flown in, housed, and provided with a rented operating room in a private hospital. All this added another $30,000 to the bill. They turned to several charity funds, but none could commit to such large sums. They inquired about private donors, but couldn't find any. There was no sign of help from any angle. They felt helpless as they watched Uriel's condition worsening.
Rabbi Zayad, who was heavily involved from the beginning, said that shortly thereafter, he received a phone call from a woman, Michal Abitbol, who introduced herself as Uriel's sister. She said, "Tell the doctor we're going through with the surgery. We decided to sell our apartment." Her husband was a Rabbi who didn't have a high income, and they had six children. Rabbi Zayad urged her to think this over, but she was adamant, saying, "We have to do our part and Hashem will help with the rest." She immediately put her apartment in Ramat Beit Shemesh on the market. She asked for a discounted price of $130,000, on condition that full payment was made upfront. A buyer quickly materialized, eager to snatch up this bargain, and the deal was finalized. The doctor was contacted and the surgery was scheduled.
Meanwhile, Rabbi Zayad went into action to raise the remaining $30,000. He turned to all of his former students and asked each one to pledge 1000 shekel. A couple of days later, a few of the students hired a driver to take them around to collect that money. That afternoon, Yehuda, one of the students, called the Rabbi and said that the driver is asking them to deliver a suitcase to a certain address; should they do it? The Rabbi was concerned that something illegal was going on. He told them to refuse. A few minutes later, Yehuda called back to say that the driver was pleading with them. The Rabbi said, "Tell him to stop by the yeshiva and I'll speak with him directly."
When they arrived, the driver explained that earlier that morning, he picked up a very distinguished looking man from the airport and drove him to his hotel. After he dropped him off, he discovered that the man had left a small valise behind. By the time he noticed, a few hours had already passed. He opened it up to see what was inside, hoping it would be filled with money, but instead, all he saw were some strange instruments. So much time had already passed that he was embarrassed to go back. That is why he is asking the students to do it.
Rabbi Zayad was intrigued and looked at the name tag on the valise. His face turned white. It belonged to none other than Professor Rich, who was supposed to be arriving that day. They contacted him, and he came down to meet them in his hotel lobby. Professor Rich's mouth dropped when he saw the valise. He had despaired of ever finding it. He said, "This case contains all of my surgical equipment for an operation that I came to perform here. The contents are worth as much as $40,000. But, it's not just the money. These items are irreplaceable. I designed many of them myself after months of research and effort."
The Rabbi then told the doctor, "I want you to realize that something incredible just happened. You are here to operate on one of my students and your equipment was found in a car that was being used by his friends to raise money to pay for it. Surely, you see the Divine Providence. And another thing, you probably don't know that this operation was made possible by my student's sister, who sold her apartment to pay for it. Now, she and her six children have no roof over their heads."
The professor was taken aback by the self-sacrifice of the family. He wasn't a Jew, but he was very touched by Mrs. Abitbol's selfless action. After a moment of silence, the professor said he was going to forgive the payment of $130,000. It was like a dream. That week, the surgery took place at a private hospital in Herzliya and B"H, it was a success.
While Uriel was recuperating, his sister was faced with a dilemma. She had her money back, but it was too late to reclaim her apartment. She and her husband decided, "If we are going to move, let us pursue our dream of living in Jerusalem." They went to see some real estate agents who all told them that they'll never be able to find anything for $130,000. As they were walking through the streets of Jerusalem, they saw a "For Sale" sign and decided to take a chance. It was a five room apartment in excellent condition. They loved the apartment, but when they asked the price, they were disappointed to find out it was $310,000.
The owner asked how much they could pay, and he was agitated when he found out that they had less than half. "Please don't waste my time here," he said.
They started to tell him the story of how they sold their apartment to pay for a surgery, and he stopped them right away. He asked, "Are you Mrs. Abitbol, by any chance?" "Yes," she said. "I can't believe it," the man replied. "I am the driver who found the valise of the doctor. I was so impressed to hear of your self-sacrifice." He told them that he was selling this apartment because he just received an inheritance from his mother, as well as a nice villa in a quiet settlement to which he was moving. With tremendous generosity, he offered to give them their dream apartment for whatever they had.
The Hashgacha of Hashem here was so clear. The Abitbols were willing to sacrifice their house to help someone in need. Not only did Hashem bring the healing, but He worked it out that they got it for free and even gained their dream apartment. Yes, mesirut nefesh (self-sacrifice) brings miracles!!!
When a person is willing to sacrifice of himself to help others, it brings blessing and salvation. The following story, which took place about five years ago, was told by Rav Chaim Zayad from Yeshivat Nachalat Shelomo in Bnei Brak and was printed in a magazine called Sha'ah Tova.
One of the Rabbi's students, whose name is Uriel, was diagnosed at the age of 22 with a brain tumor,לא עלינו. Uriel was sent to France for treatment, but the doctors there were unable to control the disease. They told the family that there is nothing left to do.
Nevertheless, the family did not give up. They consulted with many people and eventually got in touch with a bikur cholim society in a major city in the United States. They were given the name of a "Professor Rich" who was swiftly gaining a reputation for a unique treatment that offered hope to patients who other experts had already given up on.
The treatment involved an operation, and his fee was a staggering $130,000. The family had no way of coming up with that kind of money. Also, it was determined that the patient was too weak to travel; that meant that Professor Rich would have to be flown in, housed, and provided with a rented operating room in a private hospital. All this added another $30,000 to the bill. They turned to several charity funds, but none could commit to such large sums. They inquired about private donors, but couldn't find any. There was no sign of help from any angle. They felt helpless as they watched Uriel's condition worsening.
Rabbi Zayad, who was heavily involved from the beginning, said that shortly thereafter, he received a phone call from a woman, Michal Abitbol, who introduced herself as Uriel's sister. She said, "Tell the doctor we're going through with the surgery. We decided to sell our apartment." Her husband was a Rabbi who didn't have a high income, and they had six children. Rabbi Zayad urged her to think this over, but she was adamant, saying, "We have to do our part and Hashem will help with the rest." She immediately put her apartment in Ramat Beit Shemesh on the market. She asked for a discounted price of $130,000, on condition that full payment was made upfront. A buyer quickly materialized, eager to snatch up this bargain, and the deal was finalized. The doctor was contacted and the surgery was scheduled.
Meanwhile, Rabbi Zayad went into action to raise the remaining $30,000. He turned to all of his former students and asked each one to pledge 1000 shekel. A couple of days later, a few of the students hired a driver to take them around to collect that money. That afternoon, Yehuda, one of the students, called the Rabbi and said that the driver is asking them to deliver a suitcase to a certain address; should they do it? The Rabbi was concerned that something illegal was going on. He told them to refuse. A few minutes later, Yehuda called back to say that the driver was pleading with them. The Rabbi said, "Tell him to stop by the yeshiva and I'll speak with him directly."
When they arrived, the driver explained that earlier that morning, he picked up a very distinguished looking man from the airport and drove him to his hotel. After he dropped him off, he discovered that the man had left a small valise behind. By the time he noticed, a few hours had already passed. He opened it up to see what was inside, hoping it would be filled with money, but instead, all he saw were some strange instruments. So much time had already passed that he was embarrassed to go back. That is why he is asking the students to do it.
Rabbi Zayad was intrigued and looked at the name tag on the valise. His face turned white. It belonged to none other than Professor Rich, who was supposed to be arriving that day. They contacted him, and he came down to meet them in his hotel lobby. Professor Rich's mouth dropped when he saw the valise. He had despaired of ever finding it. He said, "This case contains all of my surgical equipment for an operation that I came to perform here. The contents are worth as much as $40,000. But, it's not just the money. These items are irreplaceable. I designed many of them myself after months of research and effort."
The Rabbi then told the doctor, "I want you to realize that something incredible just happened. You are here to operate on one of my students and your equipment was found in a car that was being used by his friends to raise money to pay for it. Surely, you see the Divine Providence. And another thing, you probably don't know that this operation was made possible by my student's sister, who sold her apartment to pay for it. Now, she and her six children have no roof over their heads."
The professor was taken aback by the self-sacrifice of the family. He wasn't a Jew, but he was very touched by Mrs. Abitbol's selfless action. After a moment of silence, the professor said he was going to forgive the payment of $130,000. It was like a dream. That week, the surgery took place at a private hospital in Herzliya and B"H, it was a success.
While Uriel was recuperating, his sister was faced with a dilemma. She had her money back, but it was too late to reclaim her apartment. She and her husband decided, "If we are going to move, let us pursue our dream of living in Jerusalem." They went to see some real estate agents who all told them that they'll never be able to find anything for $130,000. As they were walking through the streets of Jerusalem, they saw a "For Sale" sign and decided to take a chance. It was a five room apartment in excellent condition. They loved the apartment, but when they asked the price, they were disappointed to find out it was $310,000.
The owner asked how much they could pay, and he was agitated when he found out that they had less than half. "Please don't waste my time here," he said.
They started to tell him the story of how they sold their apartment to pay for a surgery, and he stopped them right away. He asked, "Are you Mrs. Abitbol, by any chance?" "Yes," she said. "I can't believe it," the man replied. "I am the driver who found the valise of the doctor. I was so impressed to hear of your self-sacrifice." He told them that he was selling this apartment because he just received an inheritance from his mother, as well as a nice villa in a quiet settlement to which he was moving. With tremendous generosity, he offered to give them their dream apartment for whatever they had.
The Hashgacha of Hashem here was so clear. The Abitbols were willing to sacrifice their house to help someone in need. Not only did Hashem bring the healing, but He worked it out that they got it for free and even gained their dream apartment. Yes, mesirut nefesh (self-sacrifice) brings miracles!!!
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