Nice Story

This past week R' Avraham Respler, a great mechanech passed away. It was told over in the house of shiva that when Rabbi Respler was a young boy, he was called into the office to tell him that he was not able to return to yeshiva because he didn't have money for tuition. He stayed home for two days. He was embarrassed. The rebbe found out about it and the rebbe called him and asked him to come back to school. The rebbe told the principal, if he doesn't come back, then I don't come back either. What a great display of sacrifice from a rebbe to a talmid.

The story doesn't end there. Fifty years later, Rabbi Respler was already a seasoned mechanech, a principal in his own right. There was a young Russian boy in his school and he too was not paying tuition. They told him, whether it was the board or someone else in the school, that he can't come to school if he doesn't pay. Rabbi Respler reaching deep down inside his reservoir of hope and strength, says to them, well if he doesn't come back, then neither do I. Today, that boy is a rebbe in Toras Emes!

I heard this story second hand from someone who heard it at the house of shiva, and I hope the family will be inspired that we are telling over the story. I hope I said it accurately as possible, but the message resonates loud and clear. Children are not disposable. No child should be given anything less than a stellar chance for a stellar education.

Hopefully IY"H, if we treat our children, and I don't mean our biological children but our collective children, with the love that we can shower them with, then Hashem will repay us in kind and will take care of His children, us with the same love. Have a great day and a great rest of your week. The Respler family, hamakom yinachem eschem, what an inspiration your father was to Klal Yisroel.

5 Amazing Tips To Remember

My wife and I just had our fourth baby. Having a new baby in the house has made me feel more nostalgic than usual and I’ve reflected back on my own childhood. I’ve thought about the memories that stick out in my mind and I think about the memories I want my own children to hold onto. I want to be intentional about every precious moment.

Jerry Seinfeld jokes that, “Babies’ sole purpose is to replace us! That’s why their first words are, “Mama, Dada…Bye Bye.”

It’s a funny joke, but also an important reminder that life is short and our time with our kids is going to go by fast. With that in mind, I want to make the most of every minute and create the kind of legacy that will endure long after I’m gone. This isn’t a morbid thought, but rather an important way to stay focused on what matters most with every minute we have with our kids.

As parents, we tend to stress about things that don’t matter all that much. Our kids probably aren’t going to remember every detail of our home decor, or how perfect our landscaping looked or whether our refrigerator was stocked was name brands or generics. Let’s focus on what really matters. If you want to know what your kids will remember about you, here it is:

5 things your kids will remember about you:

1. The times you made them feel safe (or the times you made them feel unsafe).

There’s a vulnerability and a need for protection in the heart of every child. Your kids will remember those moments you chased the monsters from under their bed or held them after a nightmare, but they’ll also remember the times when your temper became the monster they feared. Our kids are probably going to see us angry sometimes, because that’s part of life, but make it your mission to make your children feel safe and secure at all times when they’re with you.

2. The times you gave them your undivided attention.

Kids measure love primarily by our attentiveness to them. The times you stop what you’re doing to have a tea party or go outside to throw a ball or jump on a trampoline with be memories etched into their minds and hearts forever. Take the time to do the little things with your kids, because in the end, they’ll be the moments that matter most.



3. The way you interacted with your spouse.

Our kids are forming their views of love in large part by watching how we treat our husband or wife. Strive to have the kind of marriage that makes them excited to get married someday. Give them the security that comes from seeing their Mom and Dad in a committed, loving relationship with each other.



4. Your words of affirmation AND your words of criticism.

A child’s heart is like wet cement and the impression made early in life will harden over time. They’ll base their sense of identity, capability and even self-worth largely upon the words you speak to them in those formative years. Part of our job as parents is to correct and discipline, but even in correction, let your words be full of love, encouragement and positive reinforcement.



5. Your family traditions.

Kids love spontaneity, but they also have  deep need for predictability. They’ll remember with great fondness the “traditions” you establish whether it’s a weekly family movie (or game) night, a place you regularly travel for family getaways, the way you celebrate birthdays and special events or any other special tradition. Be intentional about creating some traditions that they’ll want to pass onto their own children someday.