The Greatest Segula
Many people look for some type of segula to bring them the yeshua they need. However, there are no quick fixes. לפום צערא אגרא, the more effort put in, the greater is the merit. Mesirut nefesh, doing something that requires tremendous inner strength is the greatest segula.
The Gemara tells us (Rosh HaShana 17) כל המעביר על מידותיו, מוחלין לו על כל פשעיו,whoever forgives and overlooks a wrong done to him, is forgiven for all of his sins. What could possibly be a greater segula than to be totally cleansed from sin? This is a powerful segula because the difficulty involved is enormous. It is not easy for a person to recognize that what was done to him was from Hashem and not bear a grudge; or for a person to lower himself and take the first step to bringing shalom, instead of saying, "Let him come to me."
Rabbi Lag related a story told to him by a woman from Israel, who we'll call Rachel. She had a friend in high school that was from a wealthy family, while she was from a poor family. The wealthy friend's attitude towards her made her feel so low. Her ga'ava and condescending remarks were like arrows shooting into Rachel's heart. The girl might not have realized the damage she was causing, but Rachel said she was broken. She lost all of her self-esteem and it had an adverse effect on her life. It was hard for her to date and she found herself alone, with no direction, at the age of twenty-eight.
One day, Rachel met one of her old friends, Sarah, on the street, who asked her how she was doing. She replied, "Not so great," and proceeded to tell her about all the negative feelings she had towards that girl. She just could not let it go.
Sarah decided to look up that girl and try to bring peace. She found out that the girl now lived in the United States. She gave her a call and asked how things were. The girl replied, "Baruch Hashem, but I have been married for many years without children and it's so hard. We've been trying doctors and Rabbis, but nothing is working."
Sarah told her about the heartache that she had caused her friend and said that the best segula would be to appease her. The woman was shocked that her comments had done so much damage. Nevertheless, she did not hesitate to admit guilt. She didn't make excuses, saying, "Come on, it wasn't that bad," or, "Please, she's blaming her problems on me." Rather, she immediately decided to fly to Israel to ask for forgiveness in person.
The two women met and Rachel later described how difficult it was for her to totally forgive. They actually had to meet several times until Rachel was מעביר על מידותיה and released all of her negative feelings. Finally, the two hugged and kissed each other. Before they departed, the friend said to Rachel, "I am anticipating that you get married this year. Please send me an invitation. I am going to come back and dance with you."
Later that year, Baruch Hashem, Rachel did get married. However, her friend could not make it; she was in labor with her first baby.
Being מעביר על מידותיו, lowering oneself to give in and forgive is a wondrous segula that can produce the greatest yeshuot.
