What A Wonderful Lesson

Green Stems and Red Petals

A teacher once instructed her students to take out their crayons and paper for "drawing time".

"We are now going to draw," she said.

The students took our their supplies and were just about to begin...

"Wait!" the teacher said. "I will tell you when to start..."

The teacher waited till all of the students placed their crayons back on their desks.

"Today we are going to draw a flower," she instructed.

The children picked up their crayons...

"Wait! Like this..." the teacher said.

Walking over to the blackboard, the teacher began to draw a green stem and a flower with six red petals, and instructed the students to do the same.

The students dutifully copied the teacher's flower.

And so went art instruction in this class.

One day a child from this class visited a school in another town.



"We are going to have drawing time," the teacher said.

The children took out their crayons and began drawing.

The visiting student just sat there, waiting.

The teacher asked him why he wasn't drawing.

"Oh, we should start now?" he asked.

"Yes. You can start," the teacher replied.

"What should we draw?" the visitor asked

"What ever you want..." came the answer.

"Really? anything I want?" the boy asked.

"Sure! You can draw anything you want..."

The boy went on to draw a flower with a green stem and six red petals...

***

Psychologists use this story to illustrate the danger in stifling children's creativity, and the harm inherent in giving too much instruction to children. The prevailing attitude is: Children are perfect. Children need their space. Don't get in the way. Don't tell them what to do.

Needless to say, while this approach certainly satisfies the Yetzer Hara - whose entire focus is the unbridled quest of satisfying and promoting one's self - it stifles the very essence and Neshama of our children.

And it is our job to right this wrong.

***

ועיר פרא אדם יולד

The human is born with imperfections. Base and ignoble. As parents and educators, we have the awesome privilege and responsibility of transforming our children's animalistic impulses and help them develop a divine and noble character.

We need to teach our children what to do. Exactly what to do. And exactly when to do it.

While Hashem certainly wants every Yid to serve Him with his unique talents and personality, when it comes to the practical details of Torah and Mitzvos, there is no room for "creativity" and "space". A Mitzvah is only accomplished when it is done exactly as it is prescribed in the Torah, and the Torah can only effect a person when he learns it with complete Bitul and Kabolas Ol to Hashem, the Giver of the Torah.

As such, when it comes to Torah and Mitzvos, we need to show our children exactly when and how to "draw a green stem and red petals". Not sooner, and not later. Nothing more and nothing less.

***

חנוך לנער על פי דרכו, גם כי יזקין לא יסור ממנה

We know that we have satisfied the responsibility, when we see that even when they are not in our presence, or when they have grown up, our children do not deviate from the path that we have taught them.

We know that we have taught our children correctly, when we see that even when "visiting another town", and given "permission to draw whatever they want", they still "draw a green stem and red petals".


Based on Ma'amar Klolei Chinuch Vehadracha, chapter 2, and Ma'amar Shuva Yisroel 5737.

Hugs

Hug. Never Too Much

"Sometimes you don’t know whether to punish a child or hug him. If you punish him when he needed a hug, you’ve made a serious mistake. 

But if you hug him when perhaps he should have been punished, you’ve just brought some extra love into the world."

- The Lubavitcher Rebbe

The Rebbes Dollar

The Rebbe Dollar! 

This was a family who came to the United States of America from Moscow, Russia in the late 70s. The boy who eventually became a member of our community received a Bris in Moscow from a visiting American Mohel at 8 days old, but his father was never circumcised.

By remarkable stroke of Divine Providence, when they first came to the United States of America, one of the first people they met at the Chabad Centre they visited in their city was the Mohel who had given the boy his bris in Moscow. The Shliach talked to the father of the boy about importance of Bris along with the rest of Yiddishkeit - but he never actually was able to make the decision at his age to go ahead with it.

The son told me that he had heard from family members (either from his father or

his cousin, who himself was circumcised later in life) that the Shliach was

discussing his family as well as other Russian families in his city with

the Rebbe (it seems in a private audience). He said that his family was the first refusenik family to arrive in that city, but the Rebbe knew many more refuseniks were coming and the Shliach’s discussion with the Rebbe was about how to help all of these new Russian families. 

In that context, the Shliach had mentioned to the Rebbe the issue of the father still needing a Bris. The Rebbe asked that he conveyed to the father; if he gets a Bris, he will receive a dollar from me. The son told me the phrase “receive a dollar from me” always stuck in his head. Why didn’t the Rebbe say “I will give him (or send him) a dollar?”

 Years later, the son was living on the West Side and became engaged to be married. The wedding was held in another city and the officiating Rabbi was also a Shliach. On the way to the wedding the son noticed his father was somewhat quiet and reserved but he didn’t think anything of it.

Under the Chuppah his Kallah was surprised to see a small bottle of red

wine that the Shliach mixed in to the white wine to be used for Sheva

Brachos.  This bothered her since she wanted only white wine (which is

customary) so there would be no chance of spilling red wine on the dress.

Obviously in the middle of the Chuppah she didn’t say anything and at any

rate, fortunately no wine spilled.

At the wedding, his father didn’t dance at all and the son thought that was

odd. The son finally asked him about it. After all, it is his wedding, the

most special day of his life, and his father shouldn’t dance with him? The

father said that he didn’t want to make a big deal about it, but in honor

of his son’s wedding, and in order to be a complete Jew for his son’s  wedding, he finally had a Bris. The well-known expert Rabbi Shain was the Mohel.

He then explained that the red wine at the Chuppah was the wine over which the

Brachah was said on at the Bris.

One of the Sheva Brachos was held at the Deli Kasba restaurant on the West

Side. In attendance at the Sheva brachos was Lubavitcher Chassid who was a close friend of the Chosson, and was even his roommate for a while before the wedding.  When he heard this entire story told over at the Sheva Brachos, he was very impressed with the great spirit of mesiras nefesh of the father, out of excitement he exclaimed: you deserve a dollar from the Rebbe for what you did! And he pulled out one of his personal  dollars he had received  from the Rebbe from his pocket and gave it to the father.

Incredibly, the date written on the dollar, which was  of course the date that this friend has received the dollar from the Rebbe years earlier, before Gimmel

Tammuz, was the exact date (day and month, though obviously not year) which the father had received his Bris, days before his son’s wedding!

Appreciation!

Inspiration Daily "Nightmare Scenario?" LISTEN Hello everybody and welcome to Inspiration Daily. If I may, I'd like to echo the words of R' Chaim Tzvi Katz, the Rebbe of the children in the Hebrew Academy of Cleveland. When he would speak at a Bar Mitzva he would say, "I am going to use this opportunity to speak to myself. If the Bar Mitzva bachur or anyone else would like to listen, you are more than welcome".      Today I got a little piece of mussar. It came when I realized at about 6:30 pm that of my two email accounts one was not working. In fact, I checked my email and I saw that the last email I received for one of the accounts was at 6:01 in the morning. I didn't know what to do. I spent an hour on the phone with the tech guy at Verizon. He finally walked me through it, and I was finally able to breathe a little easier. All of a sudden, a flurry of emails came in from the entire day. I checked them feverishly waiting to see if anything was so urgent that it couldn't have waited. Thankfully everything turned out okay. I then wondered, what we feel like when things that we love and care for are not available for the day. If we would suddenly realize that today we didn't spend the proper amount of time with our family, with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, then we would quickly rush.      Imagine you go to work, you come back and you realize, I didn't say hello to my children today! All of a sudden, you spend so much time with them, catching every free moment. When you realize at the end of the day, Oy I didn't learn, I didn't do an act of chessed, I didn't daven mincha. The panic that would set in, I am not sure that it would be the same.      So Yechiel Spero, take a little bit of mussar to heart. Hopefully two thing. Firstly, I hope my email works tomorrow. Secondly and more importantly, I hope that this subtle message that I receive makes an impact so that tomorrow I can be a little better of a person than I was today. Have a great day and a great rest of your week.

Body Language 2 Min Clip

Choosing The 5 Majors! 1 Min. Video Clip

It Saved Their Lives!!

In Crown Heights, there was a Jew, Yankel, who owned a bakery. He survived the camps.

He once said, “You know why it is that I’m alive today? I was a kid, just a teenager at the time. We were on the train, in a boxcar, being taken to Auschwitz.

“Night came and it was freezing, deathly cold, in that boxcar. The Germans would leave the cars on the side of the tracks overnight, sometimes for days on end without any food, and of course, no blankets to keep us warm,” He said. “Sitting next to me was an older Jew – this beloved elderly Jew - from my hometown. I recognized, but I had never seen him like this. He was shivering from head to toe, and looked terrible. So I wrapped my arms around him and began rubbing him, to warm him up. I rubbed his arms, his legs, his face, his neck. I begged him to hang on.

All night long; I kept the man warm this way. I was tired, I was freezing cold myself, my fingers were numb, but I didn’t stop rubbing the heat on to this man’s body. Hours and hours went by this way. Finally, night passed, morning came, and the sun began to shine. There was some warmth in the cabin, and then I looked around the car to see some of the other Jews in the car. To my horror, all I could see were frozen bodies, and all I could hear was a deathly silence.

Nobody else in that cabin made it through the night - they died from the frost. Only two people survived: the old man and me… The old man survived because somebody kept him warm; I survived because I was warming somebody else…”

Let me tell you the secret of Judaism. When you warm other people’s hearts, you remain warm yourself. When you seek to support, encourage and inspire others; then you discover support, encouragement and inspiration in your own life as well. That, my friends, is “Judaism 101”.👍🏻

Cute!

Paraprosdokians  (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising

or unexpected; frequently humorous.

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit . . . Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:'  I put 'DOCTOR'.

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a mechanic.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

Trust In Hashem!

Trust In Hashem!

Story told by a man which is most frightening yet thought-provoking experiences of his life.

He had been on a long flight. The first warning of the approaching problems came when the sign on the airplane flashed on: “Fasten your seat belts.”

Then, after a while, a calm voice said, “We shall not be serving the beverages at this time as we are expecting a little turbulence. Please be sure your seat belt is fastened.”

As he looked around the aircraft, it became obvious that many of the passengers were becoming apprehensive. Later, the voice of the announcer said, “We are so sorry that we are unable to serve the meal at this time. The turbulence is still ahead of us.”

And then the storm broke. The ominous cracks of thunder could be heard even above the roar of the engines. Lightening lit up the darkening skies and within moments that great plane was like a cork tossed around on a celestial ocean. One moment the airplane was lifted on terrific currents of air; the next, it dropped as if it were about to crash.

The man confessed that he shared the discomfort and fear of those around him. He said, “As I looked around the plane, I could see that nearly all the passengers were upset and alarmed. Some were praying.

The future seemed ominous and many were wondering if they would make it through the storm. And then, I suddenly saw a girl to whom the storm meant nothing. She had tucked her feet beneath her as she sat on her seat and was reading a book.

Everything within her small world was calm and orderly. Sometimes she closed her eyes, then she would read again; then she would straighten her legs, but worry and fear were not in her world. When the plane was being buffeted by the terrible storm, when it lurched this way and that, as it rose and fell with frightening severity, when all the adults were scared half to death, that marvelous child was completely composed and unafraid.”

The man could hardly believe his eyes. It was not surprising therefore, that when the plane finally reached its destination and all the passengers were hurrying to disembark, he lingered to speak to the girl whom he had watched for such a long time.

Having commented about the storm and behavior of the plane, he asked why she had not been afraid. The sweet child replied,

“Sir, my Dad is the pilot and he is taking me home.”

When you are sure of yourself, your confident level is steady and you are never shaky you do the things calmly and successfully. Hashem is our father. He is in the pilots seat. He is in charge and knows "exactly" where to go, what buttons to push. Etc. sometimes it looks bad and scary and people are frightened out of their wits but like the little girls faith she knows she'll be allright because dad is in charge! Hashem has a plan and we don't know who what when and where but that's Hashems department not ours. We as His children need just to trust that He knows what he's doing. 

Trust Hashem.  

Once we put our faith in Hashem, the pilot, we can sit back and feel relaxed and be stress free! What a wonderful feeling to be free of worry and know that our father, Hashem will take us where we need to be.

Who Is In Charge?

At least this lady recognizes who is in charge...

It's Thursday afternoon, and I'm preparing for Shabbos like every other week. But... this Thursday is different.

I usually have my Erev-Shabbos schedule down pat. I'm a very structured person and I like things to be just so.

This Thursday, though, my husband did the Shabbos shopping bein hasedarim because I am afraid of the Arab workers in Hachi Kedai.

This Thursday, my Chessed girl called to cancel because her seminary is in lockdown.

This Thursday, I am cooking for just us because my brother-in-law's Yeshiva is having a mandatory in-Shabbos as a result of the current situation.

This Thursday, I am not concerned about scheduling my baby's nap early enough so we can get to the park before bedtime, because all we mothers feel that the park is too exposed for our comfort.

I haven't gone out in a few days- I have been postponing all my errands.

I feel trapped; cooped up. And scared.

Everything is different.

Or is it?

I am reminded of another Thursday afternoon, two years ago. That Thursday, we were snowed in.

My husband did the shopping because I was afraid of the unsalted streets.

My Chessed girl cancelled because she could not get from her neighborhood to mine.

I cooked for just us because no guests were willing to brave the treacherous roads.

I made no plans to go to the park because the park was lost beneath a sea of white.

And I did not even attempt to run errands.

I felt cooped up just the same. But not scared.

And all those similarities got me thinking.

Weather is beyond my control, as are terrorists. And just like Hashem will decide without my help when there will be storm and when will be sun, so too He decides when and where the knife will pierce. Which plans will be thwarted and which evil intentions averted.

If He is not stopping those knives, there is a reason.

And if that knife is meant to pierce, the safety of my walls is no safety at all.

So the only thing we CAN control is how we respond to the message Hashem is sending us with such force. Paralyzing fear (my reaction till now) is understandable, but doesn't accomplish much. Instead, I am using this extended time indoors with my children to get to know them better, to play with them more. I am learning to feel proud of living here in fear- of staying in Eretz Yisrael when it's not comfortable. I am learning to value our emunas chachamim when I send my husband to kollel without too much fear because R' Chaim said talmidei chachamim will be protected. And I am learning to surrender control to Hashem.

It's a pretty important lesson. From the storms of anger, terrorism and snow, I learned my place.

Let us pray that Hashem now begins to show His ultimate control by bringing absolute Shalom and eternal peace to Klal Yisrael!

Great Training! Inspirational Article

Inspiration Daily "Training Ground" LISTEN Transcript:     In this week's Parsha the Ribono Shel Olam commands Avraham Avinu "Lech lecha". Rashi says, "go for your own good and your own pleasure". There is a beautiful thought from the Beis Yisroel. But before we get to it, there is a story with Rav Nachum of Chreynoble.     Rav Nachum was one time inexplicably placed in prison. He was taken and thrown into prison. He didn't know what he did wrong and he had no idea how long he was going to be there. An Eliyahu Hanavi type figure came to visit him in prison. Someone he never saw before and someone he would probably never see afterwards. He asks him, "Why am I here? What am I doing here?" And he said, "Rav nachum I want you to know, you are destined to become someone who will be great in the area of redeeming and helping prisoners, and those held captive. In order for you to fully appreciate what those individuals are going through, you must first experience what it is like to be a prisoner. And after that, only after that will you be able to really help those people as much as possible. Tomorrow you will be freed", and indeed he was.     Says the Beis Yisroel a beautiful thought. The Ribono Shel Olam told Avraham Avinu, "Go. Go on the way". Where? When? How? The Ribono Shel Olam didn't tell him. Why? Because Avraham Avinu, you are destined to be great in many areas but in one area specifically, hachnasas orchim. In order for you to fully appreciate what it means to host a guest, you have to know what it is to be a guest. You have to know what it means to be lost on the road, to be without food, without drink, to be desperate for a place to sleep and somewhere to eat. So the Ribono Shel Olam says first go and be a guest, be lost on the road, go and wander. Ill show you where to go, but you will have to have trust and faith in me. Once you know what it is to be a guest, then you will be able to host guests and help others.     This is a very practical application for each and every one of us. The Ribono Shel Olam knows that we each have greatness within us. But in order for us to maximize that greatness, we must first go through certain specific challenges that will help us overcome. The satan knows we can be great, and therefore, those challenges come in ways that make it seem like we are overwhelmed. But if we stop for a moment and realize that this is just the training ground, then when the true ability that we have within us is revealed we will be able to help those because we have walked through it ourselves.     If you are faced with a certain challenge; whether it's in learning, davening, being sensitive, lashon harsh, hosting people, whatever that challenge may be know that it's because Hakadosh Baruch Hu knows how great you can be in that area. He needs you to first go through the training to get there. Good luck on your training mission. Have a great day and a great rest of your week.

.

Moms

One day Thomas Edison came home and gave a paper to his mother. He told her, “My teacher gave this paper to me and told me to only give it to my mother.”

His mother’s eyes were tearful as she read the letter out loud to her child: Your son is a genius. This school is too small for him and doesn’t have enough good teachers for training him. Please teach him yourself.
After many, many years, after Edison’s mother died and he was now one of the greatest inventors of the century, one day he was looking through old family things. Suddenly he saw a folded paper in the corner of a drawer in a desk. He took it and opened it up.
On the paper was written: Your son is addled [mentally ill]. We won’t let him come to school any more.
Edison cried for hours and then he wrote in his diary: “Thomas Alva Edison was an addled child that, by a hero mother, became the genius of the century.”

Never Give up. Be confident. Remember –  (be it life, sports, career or any competition) – any battle is won twice – FIRST IN YOUR HEAD…….

Inspiration From The Rebbe

The Rebbes Uplifting Message 

Watch Now

http://youtu.be/jGLM4tHAlTs

Incredible Boat Rescue By Israelis

http://lm.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.israel21c.org%2Fisraelis-rescue-syrian-iraqi-refugees-after-boat-capsizes%2F&h=lAQHtB5Ef&enc=AZNl6oKEedo0jdNrqPJVD3qGtntZ088s-9NcFYLxu9KkEYV3apAwz05b6umC3lfXmfIu6QY5QOyapRiRu43GHPTIEpPyrq8K4hMGfHxzsFv4U5U8seTKM8Yl2daqDhBxiGjfKlDTwiam4-Qox91AIqvPjOV8H4pbpLr98ZBWJgJ8BQ&s=1

Positively Good

Beautiful story about a Positive Attitude. 

A famous writer was in his study. He picked up his pen and began writing:

**  Last year, my gall bladder was removed.  I was stuck in bed due to this surgery for a long time.

**  The same year I reached the age of 60 and had to give up my favorite job. I had spent 30 years of my life with this publishing company.

**  The same year I experienced the death of my father.

**  In the same year my son failed in his medical exam because he had a car accident. He had to stay in the hospital with a cast on his leg for several days.

**  And the destruction of the car was a second loss.

At the end he wrote:  Alas! It was such bad year!!

When the writer's wife entered the room, she found her husband looking sad and lost in his thoughts.  From behind his back she read what was written on his paper.  She left the room silently and came back shortly with another paper on which she had written her summary of the year and placed it beside her husband's writing.

When the writer saw her paper, he read:

**  Last year I finally got rid of my gall bladder which had given me many years of pain.

**  I turned 60 with sound health and retired from my job. Now I can utilize my time to write better and with more focus and peace.

**  The same year my father, at the age of 95 without depending on anyone and without any critical conditions, met his Creator.

**  The same year, God blessed my son with life.  My car was destroyed, but my son was alive and without permanent disability.

At the end she wrote:  This year was an immense blessing and it passed well!!

In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful but gratitude that makes us happy! There is always, always always so much to be grateful for!

Attitude is everything

Connected To Above

Thought of the day.........

 Rabbi Meir of Premishlan lived at the foot of a very steep hill. 

Each day, even in the ice of winter, he would hike over the hill to immerse and purify himself in a stream on the other side. 

The people who knew of this considered this quite wondrous; they could only walk around the hill as they were scared of falling on the ice.

 One day, a few young men  followed the Rebbi up the hilltop as he effortlessly ascended the hill once again. 

All of them fell down and were badly hurt. 

What was Rabbi Meir's secret? 

"When you are connected to above, he explained,

 You do not fall down."

(Bringing Heaven down to Earth page 129)

Whats Really Important In A Shidduch!

A man came to ask s Rabbi about boy in the yeshivah for his daughter who had reached marriageable age. He arrived at the yeshivah and entered the rosh yeshivah’s home during the break between learning sessions.

R’ Shmuel greeted him cordially and asked why he had come. He explained to the rosh yeshivah that he was inquiring about a particular boy. R’ Shmuel told him to ask him what was on his mind.
The man had many questions. First, he wanted to know how many hours a day the bachur learned. Was he punctual in arriving to seder and did he spend his time diligently? Did he come to davening on time and did he actively participate in the shiur? Did he ask relevant questions and understand the answers?
R’ Shmuel knew the boy well and was able to answer every question satisfactorily. After receiving a favorable report in regard to his questions, the man thanked R’ Shmuel for his time and got up to leave. At this point, R’ Shmuel, in his gentle and noble way, turned to the father and said, “You’ve asked me a number of questions. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions, too?” Of course, the man agreed.
R’ Shmuel looked at the man and said, “It seems to me that you are inquiring about the boy for your daughter and you seem happy with the report I gave you. You obviously think that all your daughter needs to know is whether he comes on time and if he is a lamdan.” The man nodded his head in agreement.
“But did it ever occur to you,” asked R’ Shmuel, “that your daughter might want to know if this boy is a mentsch? If he is a ba’al chessed?”
R’ Shmuel continued, “It would seem fitting that you should ask me: How often does he brush his teeth? How does he behave in the company of others? Does he arrive first in the dining room and take the biggest portion, or does he linger after Minchah for a few minutes to learn more and then eat whatever portion is left when he gets to the dining room?”
The man started to interject, but R’ Shmuel continued speaking. “I’m sure your daughter would be curious to know what he does when the pitcher on the table is empty. Does he wait for someone else to fill it up or does he run to fill it himself? Does he ever go into the kitchen to thank the staff for preparing the food? Does he eat the food even if he doesn’t care for it, or does he just go to the nearby kiosk to buy something he likes?
“You came to the conclusion that he is a masmid; did you ask what he does when he finishes learning late at night and his roommates are sleeping? Does he take off his shoes and tiptoe in so as not to wake them, or does he walk in noisily? Does he make his bed and keep his things neat? Does he think about others and want to do chessed for them, or does he just think about himself?” R’ Shmuel concluded, “I think that you need to check these things out. If he arrives home in the afternoon and does not like the food your daughter worked hard to prepare, will his face reflect obvious dissatisfaction? Will your daughter then be happy that her father checked this boy out with the rosh yeshivah who told him that he knows every Ketzosand Rabi Akiva Eiger? Will she say, ‘It’s true that he has no manners and no social skills, but I respect him anyway because he knows the sugya of the bees and the mustard in Bava Basra’?”
The man hung his head in shame, realizing his oversight. He understood R’ Shmuel’s message and now knew the proper approach to finding a shidduch for a bas Yisrael. It is important for a bachur to be diligent, but one must also remember that nothing in this world, and certainly no marriage, can exist without chessed.

Chazal tell us that Noach used a “secret weapon” with which he was able to rebuild the world after the destruction of the Flood: Olam chessed yibaneh—“the world will be built upon kindness” (Tehillim 89:3).
Rav Mordechai Gifter zt”l explains that Noach was locked inside a floating ark for 120 days with nothing to do butchessed for his family and for the animals. This was all for the sole purpose of entrenching the ideal of chessed into his very being so that when it would be time to come out and start the world over again, he would do so with the attribute of kindness. This was, and continues to be, the only way the world can exist.

I Am A Jew!

Incredible video

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1275973062428390&id=100000471269080

Watch this and pass it around!

Must watch!    For israel

https://www.facebook.com/stleeda/videos/10156160813400187/

LOL

Pause

Children

The Button

    There is a lady who lives in Eretz Yisroel who was wearing her blouse. The blouse that she was wearing could be worn in one of two ways, either with the top closed or with it opened a little bit. Either way, it wasn't terribly not tznius, but the standard of the school and her family was to have the top button closed. She was struggling with it. She wasn't struggling with yiddishkeit in any way, but just in this areas; she wanted to wear the button open. She spoke it over with her mother, and her mother left it up to her. She chose to close the button. Later that day, her mother sees her and sees that she is really exhausted from the spiritual struggle. With tears in her eyes, her mother tells her, you know what? Who knows if your closing of your button stopped another pigua from happening in Eretz Yisroel. Who knows!

   B"H there was less terror today than yesterday. Who knows what one closing of a button can do. What is your 'button'? What is that one small thing that for whatever reason it is, is a struggle for you. Because who knows if your 'button' can prevent one more terrorist attack from ruining the lives of our brothers and sisters.

   Hopefully IY"H, we can garner up the strength and do whatever we need to do to close our one 'button'. Have a great day and rest of your week.   

Happiness

Our Happiness is with Other’s

Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar.

Suddenly the speaker stopped and started giving each one a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.

Now these delegates were left in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos.

At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon.

Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it.

Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.

The speaker began— Exactly this is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is.

Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness, you will get your own happiness.

Lol

Responsibility

Children!

Enough

Your Story Is Changeable!

LOL

We Are Only Human

LOL

Its Not What You Think

Marriage Box

The 5 Majors By Toby Lieder

All     Marriages are Made in Heaven

Hashem organized your shidduch a long long time ago, before you were even born. So the 'other half' is there! And Hashem has His wondrous ways. But I believe that we have to give a finger in order for Him to give us a hand. We have to do our part. We have to make a vessel, for Hashem's blessings to come alive. We all get there at the end. Everyone has their journey. Thank G-d for yours. So this journey I am taking you on, is just a collection of my personal experiences over the years in my encounters with helping people find their 'basherte'.  

To the young men and women going out on the SHIDDDUCH SCENE, and to all of us parents of these young innocent boys and girls, I suggest the following ideas, as merely suggestions, that can possibly help make the journey a lot more pleasant. Firstly, take the time to think. Think aloud, with a close friend, mashpiah, or parent. Think of ALL the qualities you would love to have in your soul mate. Write them all down. We call this 'brainstorming'. Afterwards, select from the list of 45 qualities, only a few, (say 5 non-negotiable) that are of most importance to YOU. To 'you', as a person, not what's most important for your friends or parents to be proud of, but what "YOU" consider 'most' important. 

Once you have figured out what you feel are the most desired 45 qualities, then ask yourself if you are able to possibly compromise on any of these 45 qualities. You will actually start to eliminate one at a time, as you can see clearly what is possible to let go, and what you absolutely cannot live without. This is simply a guide to enable you to THINK. It is meant for you to think of what qualities may be most important to you. What you value most.

As you read through the suggestions, have in mind the next time you are going out on a date, to look out for YOUR MOST IMPORTANT 5 MAJORS.  

One of the ways, you can 'check' it out, is by talking about those qualities in discussion, through examples or stories, and listen out for the other one's REACTION. Listen out for cues,  are they yawning or turning in different directions, or are they actively involved in your conversation! If something is SO VERY IMPORTANT to you, and as you talk about it, the other one is enthusiastically involved, and even building on the subject, and there are good 'vibes' throughout the conversations, there is a mutual excitement on this subject, then you know you are talking the same language, you are onto something good. But if there is any STATIC whatsoever when you relate what is so important to you, and there is constant interference, like opposing point of views, yawning, or looking at their watch, be careful, that we are now talking about what is dearest to your heart, so it is up to you to decide if you want to live with somebody that has opposing point of views, or is not so interested about those things dearest to you!  

See my point? Dreams can be shattered by misunderstandings, or simple communication breakdown. It is usually EXPECTATIONS, that break up the sholom bayis. He expected this and that, she expected him to be or do, this 'n that. "Did you guys talk about these issues before, or merely 'expected' them to happen?!!!  

Shidduch Checklist

Shidduch Check List

Here is a list of possible choices to look at, in order to help you 'PRIORITIZE' your VALUES. To help you select what YOU personally desire, and hold way up high as a priority, hopefully to be found in your partner so you get the best possible, loving, understanding, warm, and peaceful, relationship! Remember you can’t get 'em all!! Here's the 5 million dollar question: Ask yourself this question after completing your 5 majors list: 

"Am 'I' the kinda person I'd like to meet?"

1. EMOTIONALLY STABLE:  
Are they well balanced? Do they have a lot of emotional luggage? What was their upbringing like? What sort of a mother did they have? What sort of a role model was their father? Was there sholom bayis in their home? Were they brought up very narrow mindedly, or open minded? Are they in touch with their feelings? Can they 'express' themselves, to others? 

2. HONESTY AND SINCERITY:  
Are they sincere? Are they straightforward and honest. Or is there a hidden agenda, and you don't really know their intentions? Are they for REAL? Some people, do things, so others should take notice... others do it, L'SHAIM shomayim!, Lshma.  

3.SHLICHUS:  
Are they interested to go out on shlichus? Do they intend to 100% and see it as their potential future? Or is shlichus a possibility, if they happen to find the right opportunity? How important is going out and dedicating their life, totally to others', say like on shlichus, which involves, a lot of 'self sacrifice'. They may not be home a lot because of the shlichus. Where do they want to see themselves in the future?  

4. SENSE OF HUMOR:  
Are they more serious, or more chilled about life. Some people have a great sense of humor, and can laugh off problems, they tend to see the humor in everything, which gives a 'lift' to the seriousness that life holds for us. Others, take everything so seriously, sometimes too much. Does this person carry a 'healthy' sense of humor? 

5. TEMPERMENT:  
What is this person's temper like? Do they keep it all in? Do they talk things out? Do they have panic attacks? Do they 'blow up' at everything? How easily do they loose their temper? AND WHAT DO THEY DO WHEN THEY 'LOOSE IT'?  Are they able to say " nisht g'ferlach" easily? Or, "it’s all meant to be for the good?" Can you see yourself living with someone that blows their lid quite easily, quite often? Do you mind a screamer?  

6. GROWING:  
Is this person one that enjoys a good book? Do they get excited when they hear a new 'vort'? Do they look at making hachlotos, every now and then, because they are constantly on the 'growth'. They are never satisfied with where they're at, they are eager to 'be more', or get 'better at'...I mean spiritually, as well as emotionally. Are they fixed in their ways, or open to change?  

7. RESPECT:  
Does this person respect everyone equally? Are they continually putting people into 'boxes', or 'labelling' them, discriminating people as a habit? Or are they Melamed Zechus, people, and situations, easily, without jumping to conclusions? You know those kinda people that will shake hands with 'anybody'? Or not discriminate who they bring home for lunch. Do they carry a sense of respect for goyim as well? Like in shops, etc.? Do they respect little kids, or just walk away when a kid is crying?  

8. OPENMINDED:  
Is this person more or less open minded, or stuck in their own ways. I mean really, FLEXIBLE. Are they ableto see another person's point of view? Are they stubborn, to insist on only their point of view? Is this person peace-oriented? Are they able to easily say, "Lets agree to disagree"?  

9. LEARNING:  
Is this person studious? Do they learn for the sake of getting by, or have a true interest in their studies? Do they pick up a book to further their interests in knowledge, or have an interest in local shiurim, or inspiring talks, farbrengens?  

10. STREET SMART:  
Are they equipped with a good sense of 'common sense' (which is not so common!)?  How street smart are they?  

11. POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE MINDED:  
Some people always see the good in every situation. They say "its hashgocha protis", or "big deal", a lot of the time. They are able to let go of things and see the positive in all or most situations. What type is this person?  Do they 'kvetch' all the time? Is everything 'hard' for them to do? Do they take risks? Do they complain about everything and everyone? 

12. CHASSIDISHKIET, YIDDISHKIET:  
What is their 'yiddishkiet' like? How do they behave, inwards and outwards? How does 'chassidishkiet' play a role in their life? What is their connection to the Rebbe? How serious do they follow the Rebbe? How much do they make the Rebbe part of their lives? Do they have Yiras Shomayim?  

13. PERSONALITY:  
Do they have a 'spark', a creative side to their personality? Are they quiet and reserved, too hard to 'get into'? Are they lively and full of life? Are they more serious, but have a tremendous amount of 'toichen'? What type of personality do they have? Are they a more sociable type, or rather stay at home type? Introvert, or extrovert?  

14. CHARACTER:  
Are they kind, by nature? Are they soft and gentle? Are they generous? Are they the type that looks how to help others, or are they more 'self centered'? Are they 'sensitive' to other people’s needs or do they 'pretend' they didn't 'notice' it?  Do they have a generous nature or a more stingy nature?  

15. RESPONSIBLE:  
Can you give them tasks to perform, and know that it'll get done? Are they dependable? Would you entrust this person with major responsibilities? Do they keep to 'seder' well? What successful projects have they done & were responsible for?  

16. ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS:  
Are they 'sloppy'? Are they neat ‘n tidy? Can they set up a home? Run a business? Can they organize events? Are they a leader or a follower? Do they make things happen or watch things happen? Or don’t even know that something happened?  

17. FAMILY ORIENTED:  
Does this person come from a secure, well-balanced, family-oriented, warm environment? Do they love family-stuff? Like, is family important to them? Do they talk much about their family? What is their relationship with their 'mother'? Do they speak highly of her? What about the father? How do they respect him? What size family would they want if given a choice? Large or small? Are they a 'stay at home parent' or more of a “go getter”?  

18. NATURE:  
Are they the relaxed type by nature, or always on the go, type? Can they sit back, relax and spend time with little kids and enjoy their company? Or do they get nervous around kids? Are they a 'good listener'? Are they really listening to you when you talk? Do they have patience to hear you out, or are they too busy, or looking at their watch?  

19. QUALITY:  
Do they go for a higher, good quality life? Or are they very happy living with the bare minimum? How do they dress? Are they 'baalabatish? Or didn’t-look-in-the- mirror type?  

20. CONFIDENCE:  
Do they have a good sense of self-esteem? What is their confidence like? Are they always worried that what they do is not good enough? Do they set goals, and carry them out? Do they believe in themselves, or put themselves down? Are they shy and reserved? Can they talk to anyone about anything?  

21. HEALTH:  
What is their family's state of health? Is there anything we should be aware of? For the sake of all parties involved, is there anything that you heard that would be important for us to know?  

23. PUT- TOGETHER:  
Is this person, a self-disciplined type? Are they put-together, they know where they're going, they don't just go with the flow? Do they carry a good sense of 'purpose' with them each day. Are they the type that would not “waste” a moment? There are others, that take life as it hits them...take it easy type, like, no particular agenda.  

24. MASHPIAH:  
Are they the type that people would look up to for advise? Or do they shy away, from being asked their opinion? Would they 'have' a mashpiah? Or do they have too much of an ego to ask for advice? What position do you see them in?  

25. SPARE TIME, HOBBIES:  
What do they do when they have some 'spare' time? 
Who do they hang out with, when they want to just, hang around? Where do they go to socialize? What are their talents and interests? When they make time for leisure or vacations, what is their sense of a good vacation?  

26. STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES:  
What would you say are their strengths and weaknesses? Everybody has both, otherwise we'd all be angels! So what are theirs? Like if they had to make a hachlota what would they improve on? What are they best at? What shines the most, when you think of this person?  

27. LAST BUT NOT LEAST:  
Remember that nobody has it all. So if you had to choose 5 most important qualities that this person stands out for, what would they be?

 Wishing you ALL Chag Sameach!