The Nobel Prize. Its Origin And Profound Lesson!

The Nobel Prize came to be by chance – a twist of fate. 

When Alfred Nobel's brother died, a newspaper mistakenly ran an obituary of Alfred himself, believing it was he who had died. Nobel was given a rare opportunity: to read his own obituary while alive. What he read horrified him. The newspaper described him as a man who had made it possible to kill more people more quickly than anyone else in history.

Upon reading it, Alfred Nobel realized two things, that this was how he was to be remembered, and that this was not how he wanted to be remembered. Shortly thereafter, he established the Nobel awards. 

All too often we spend our time “sweating the small stuff,” and neglecting the things that really matter: the good we do, the love we give, the mitzvot we perform, the difference we make to other people’s lives. None of us knows how long we will live. Life is too short to waste. Every day is a gift from G-d and we should use it to the fullest: to celebrate life and be a blessing to others.

What do you want to be remembered for?

It's Not What We Always Think

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. "That laundry is not very clean; she doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap." Her husband looks on, remaining silent. Every time her neighbor hangs her wash to dry, the young woman makes the same comments. A month later, the woman is surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and says to her husband: "Look, she's finally learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this? " The husband replies, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows." And so it is with life... What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which we look

Judiasm 101%

In Crown Heights, there was a Jew, Yankel, who owned a bakery. He survived the camps. He once said, “You know why it is that I’m alive today? I was a kid, just a teenager at the time. We were on the train, in a boxcar, being taken to Auschwitz. Night came and it was freezing, deathly cold, in that boxcar. The Germans would leave the cars on the side of the tracks overnight, sometimes for days on end without any food, and of course, no blankets to keep us warm,” he said. “Sitting next to me was an older Jew – this beloved elderly Jew - from my hometown I recognized, but I had never seen him like this. He was shivering from head to toe, and looked terrible. So I wrapped my arms around him and began rubbing him, to warm him up. I rubbed his arms, his legs, his face, his neck. I begged him to hang on. All night long; I kept the man warm this way. I was tired, I was freezing cold myself, my fingers were numb, but I didn’t stop rubbing the heat on to this man’s body. Hours and hours went by this way. Finally, night passed, morning came, and the sun began to shine. There was some warmth in the cabin, and then I looked around the car to see some of the other Jews in the car. To my horror, all I could see were frozen bodies, and all I could hear was a deathly silence.

Nobody else in that cabin made it through the night – they died from the frost. Only two people survived: the old man and me… The old man survived because somebody kept him
warm; I survived because I was warming somebody else…”

Let me tell you the secret of Judaism. When you warm other people’s hearts, you remain warm yourself. When you seek to support, encourage and inspire others; then you discover support, encouragement and inspiration in your own life as well. That, my friends, is “Judaism 101”.

Follow Your Heart

Chayenu Miracle!

 I would like to share an inspiring story which happened this week @Chayenu, along the lines of large donations coming from unexpected sources, way more than the Keli we make and also powerful on other levels:
Yossi Pels, the Exec. Director got an email a few weeks ago saying something like "Please unsubscribe me. I love Chayenu, its a wonderful publication but I simply don't have the time for it...".

Wisely, rather than just follow their instructions he countered.
But not before researching who this past-subscriber was, googling them etc.
Turns out to be a wealthy family.
So he writes back: it seems that while you may not have the time, you do have the resources. Well, we have many Jewish inmates who have plenty time to study Chayenu but no resources. So he suggested a trade. Or partnership.
They were inspired by the approach he took and expressed interest. He told them we have 190 inmates yet to be sponsored.
They pledged to send a check.
This past Sunday, a check arrived, covering the Chayenu subscription costs of ALL 190 JEWISH INMATES!!
Approximately $18K !

All this, from an "unsubscribe " email turned into a major donor
😃
Definitely miraculous and Rebbe koichois, but also a lesson in how to turn a No into a Big Yes.Love such stories!!

Labor Of Love

My mother gave me some sage advice when I got married, which I'm sure you've all heard before, but she said it in a way that I had never heard it before. She said that marriage is called a 'labor of love' not because it is laborious to love the other, but because all of the labor that we do for one another must be done with love...over and over again. It is in the little things. "Like the way you give him tea," she said. "Don't just plop it down in front of him...set it down lovingly and say, 'Hey sweetie - here is your tea.'"
I see praying to G-d in a similar light. I must labor to beg him with the utmost sincerity and love over and over again for the same thing - which, as in a marriage, can become mundane. The 'labor' is in making it fresh and real and meaningful.
Every. Single. Time.
Jodi Sugar quoting Rivka Pesha. (Jodi's website is http://www.ajewishcalendar.com)

I Talked ToG-d Story Of A Mom Of 17

❤ Wow What A Story!❤
I talked to God; I said I didn’t know who my mother and father were, but that now the Holy One would have to be both my mother and my father."
Tikkun, the Hebrew word for repair, is often used in the expression tikkun olam, the value of repairing the world. But tikkun can be intensely personal, and become the framework of a meaningful life.Rarely have I seen this displayed so clearly as in the story of Jerusalemite Ruth Zvi.



She’s the mother of 17 children.         That’s right, 17.
She and three sisters were given away by parents who felt they had too many children.

They kept their sons.

I meet Ruth, now 60, at Hadassah University Medical Center, where she’s a volunteer for Ezer Mizion. Ruth is one of those pleasant religious women who pass out sandwiches to the families of hospital patients. What would you like, tuna or cheese? She’s never in a hurry.

Five – or, as she says, “only five” of her children are still living at home. And she does attend all the birthday parties and end-of-year celebrations for her 31 grandchildren thus far, but still has time to schmooze.

We meet at the kiosk where I buy my daily gelato in the hospital mall. Her son Israel (No. 7) co-owns the Aldo concession, and tops my frozen yogurt with a dollop of mint chocolate chip.

“I don’t remember myself before moving to Jerusalem,” reveals Ruth, who has brown embracing eyes and an easy smile.

She would learn later in life that she was born in Tel Aviv’s Hatikva quarter. She ate scraps that fell from the table, a toddler Cinderella. At age three, when she was adopted, she couldn’t yet walk or talk.

Adoption was less regulated back then. A woman, representing an NGO that wanted to rescue underprivileged children, had heard about Ruth’s family. She became the daughter of Rabbi and Rebbetzin C., an older childless couple from Poland who’d lost their large families in the Shoah. They longed for children, and were willing to take this neglected, backwards little girl.

They lived in the Geula neighborhood of Jerusalem. Ruth’s new mother washed, clothed and fed her, and took her to get the required inoculations she hadn’t received as a baby. A middle name was added. She would henceforth be Ruth Miriam, for her adoptive mother’s murdered mom.

“My mother was very strict, what you’d call a ‘Polish mother,’” recalls Ruth. “My father was warmer, although he never once kissed or hugged me. Somehow, he was able to express his parental affection without touching.”

It didn’t occur to Ruth that her father’s never touching her had to do with religious restrictions on adopted children.

She didn’t know she was adopted.

Looking back, there were hints about her being adopted, but she didn’t pursue them. “My upbringing was such that questioning my mother would have been unthinkable.”

Ruth learned to play the accordion, and was often the center of class parties.

Her mother was somber. Ruth was darkskinned, with a Sephardi complexion; her mother was fair-skinned and looked typically Ashkenazi. “When people mentioned it, my mother said I looked like one of her sisters murdered in Poland. That was a conversation-stopper. I suppose all my neighbors and classmates knew I was adopted, but no one said anything.”

Ruth was a teen when her best friend asked if she could tell her a secret. The friend made her promise she wouldn’t be angry. “And then she said it: ‘You’re adopted.’” Ruth informed her friend she had to leave. “She kept apologizing, but I explained that I wasn’t mad, I just needed to be alone.”

Ruth walked and walked, her heart beating fast, her mind unable to fathom her new reality. She found herself at the Western Wall.

“I talked to God; I said I didn’t know who my mother and father were, but that now the Holy One would have to be both my mother and my father. I went home and didn’t say a word to my parents.”

Her mother guessed. “She worried that I wouldn’t mind her anymore. I assured her that nothing had changed.”

When matchmaking began, among the men she met was a light-skinned, Sephardi yeshiva student named Elijah Zvi. “He was very short, but he seemed taller each time I met him. Like all the girls of my religious ilk, I was impressed that he wanted to study Torah. “ At the engagement, the groom’s father asked which ethnic group Ruth really belonged to. Rabbi C. shook his head: “We never speak of it,” he responded, and the subject was closed.

The wedding took place in the Bais Yaakov Teachers’ Seminary where Ruth studied. Their married life began on Malchei Yisrael Street, near Mea She’arim.

Elijah earned a small stipend as a yeshiva student and Ruth taught music in kindergartens.

They soon had four daughters.

One day, an item in a community newspaper mentioning the upcoming nuptials of a couple named Nachum and Tova caught her eye. “I can’t explain it,” she remembers.

“I had a feeling they had something to do with me.”

Elijah knew Nachum and spotted him at prayer services in a neighborhood synagogue.

“A girl was waiting for him outside and she looked a little like you,” he observed. He suggested inviting them to their home. Ruth recognized her strong resemblance to Tova, but didn’t say anything.

Eventually, the two women joyfully acknowledged their sisterhood. Tova’s parents had told her from the beginning that she was adopted. “She’d opened the file and was in touch with our biological parents. She kept urging me to meet them, too.”

Ruth and Elijah finally went to see the man and woman who had given Ruth and her sisters away. “I went for the first and last time,” recounts Ruth. “My biological mother hardly acknowledged me; she was like a fossil. My father tried to pretend he always wanted to get be back. I had four daughters by then and the thought of my parents giving away four daughters was more than I could cope with.”

She was clear on one subject: No matter how many children she and Elijah had, they would bring them up with love.

Ruth gave birth 18 times (one stillborn child) in 24 years.

Her widowed adoptive mother, the sole survivor of her family – who couldn’t have biological children and took a chance on this abandoned, backward child – was always by her side, helping her with the children.

Rebbetzin C. got to help bring up the first 11 children before she died.

“My adoptive parents had their own ideas of child-rearing – today they might not be recommended – but they gave me enormous strength, confidence and self-reliance,” she asserts. “There were plenty of difficult periods, never extra money or enough personal space for the children. But today I have eight sons and nine daughters, and they’re all terrific.

Twelve are married; they’re all educated and hold down good jobs.”

Her son Israel recalls how tough times sometimes were, but that they were never hungry – even if they slept on mattresses in the living room. They’re still close today, often camping out to be together in their parents’ home.

When her youngest child, “the best of all,” started first grade, Ruth went back to work as a house mother in a home for senior citizens. Today, at 60, she enthuses that she’s “at a great stage of life, fully enjoying myself.” She attends a variety of classes at the community center.

Advice for childrearing? “Respect every child. Look beyond what he or she is wearing.

Think of how my parents saved me.

Compliment everything good they do, but don’t let a lie go undetected. I never did homework; that’s the child’s responsibility, not yours.”

Life advice? “Don’t waste energy on over-thinking. Get on with what you want to do, and think of the positive.”

Regrets? “As you might imagine, I didn’t hug and kiss my children enough – but I’m learning to do that with my grandchildren.That’s my personal tikkun... a lot of hugs and kisses

Winning Essay Of Applied Chassidus So Inspiring!

An Awesome Essay Must Read!!!
Author Was The Winner Of
"Applied Chassidus Essay"

🌺 Pain and Suffering 🌺

by Mirel Deitsch

Can you go on with your life when hit over the head with tragedy? Can a mother who lost her child go on to be a functional human being? Can a man whose entire business is lost leaving him penniless still function as the leader of his family? Can a girl who lost her father as a mere thirteen-year-old go on to build her own family and be a positive person?

I grew up in a family where Chassidus is like a drug. The same way a father might suggest that his child take anti-depressants when necessary, my father would suggest to us, “Go learn chapter 22 of Tanya” or “Let’s review what Lihaskilcha Bina1 teaches us.” This is what got us through the tragedies that our family was hit with, not only to places where we can function normally, but to the point where we are happy people ourselves and we are able to bring happiness to others. What exactly does this “drug” do? Chassidus brings a whole new perspective to what pain and suffering really is and teaches us how a person can not only survive a tragedy, but thrive after it. Chassidus teaches that G-d is good and therefore everything that He does is good.

The Process

Step 1: Grieve the Tragedy

One year ago, on Ten Adar II, Rashi Minkowicz, a thirty seven year-old Chabad emissary, passed away suddenly leaving behind her beautiful family and many friends. Since I attended a Chabad high school, my entire school was reeling from shock. Some of us had been counselors in her daycamp. Both her mother and father were teachers in our school. After returning from her funeral, Rabbi Yosef Y. Jacobson came to talk to us and bring some order to all of us hysterical girls. He told a story of a wealthy Rabbi whose entire fortune lay in his fleet of ships. The Rabbi’s fleet of ships had been destroyed in a storm. Of course, no one wanted to be the one to break the news to the Rabbi. One of the Rabbi’s top students asked the Rabbi, “Is it true what you taught us, ‘Just as one recites a blessing for his good fortune, so must he also recite a blessing for his misfortune’?” The Rabbi said, “Yes, of course!” The student then asked, “Does this mean that the person must even dance after hearing about his misfortune?” The Rabbi replied, “Yes, of course.” “What if you found out that your fleet of ships had been destroyed? Would you rejoice and dance?” asked the student. “Yes, yes,” answered the Rabbi. “Well, start dancing…” said the student. To this the Rabbi fainted. When he came to, he said, “Suddenly I don’t understand the teaching that I taught you.”

Although the tragedies that happen to us are indeed blessings in disguise, as will be dicussed in Step 2, this concept is too difficult to internalize immediately. So first we grieve. The Torah understands that we are human and therefore set up a mourning process after death strikes. This is the first step. To grieve.


Step 2- Recognize the Source of the Tragedy

Chapter 26 of Tanya, the basis for Chassidus, explains this concept thoroughly: Our sages have advised: “Just as one recites a blessing for his good fortune, so must he also recite a blessing for his misfortune2.” Why? For it, too, is for the good, except that it is not apparent to mortal eyes, for it stems from the “hidden (spiritual) world,” which is higher than the “revealed (spiritual) world.”3 “Misfortunes” are actually blessings in disguise! They represent an even higher level of good than the revealed good, since they originate in a higher world.

"GPS for the Soul" by Rabbi Nadav Cohen gives some insight as to how this concept can possiby make any sense, "When a sick child is given bitter medicine, he cries, certain that his parents hate him… The deepest bond and the strongest, most powerful love is revealed specifically when the parents are causing their child discomfort in order to heal him…" We are limited human beings and therefore like a child we cannot see how our pain and suffering is for our good, but it is, for our Father in Heaven would never cause us needless pain.

If a person truly absorbs the above, he can be freed of all kinds of suffering. Depression, anxiety, worry, and stress can all be drowned out with feelings of trust in G-d, a good G-d who is entrusting him with a challenge that only seems bad to our mortal eyes and is in truth a path to come closer to G-d.

Mrs. Devorie Kreiman lost four children to a genetic disorder and then a fifth in an accident. In a talk about recovering from loss she said, “When I flew to New York for my daughter’s wedding, I was about to get into the taxi when I noticed that my little blue suitcase, which was supposed to contain lots of things for the wedding, looked a little different. My heart dropped, I opened it up, and there lay a bunch of college papers. I found an identification and switched the suitcases thank G-d. When you come off the plane and you’re looking at the carousal, do you think to yourself, ‘Oh, that designer suitcase looks nice… maybe I should take that one’? No! You want your old, torn-up suitcase because that’s the suitcase that has the clothes that fit you and the things needed for whatever you came on your trip to accomplish. The same thing is with the life you were given. G-d gives us lots of baggage, a life filled with tragedies and happy things, too. Everything happens for a purpose. The purpose is to live a meaningful life. To take everything in your suitcase and use it as a way to become closer to G-d.”4

This is the second step. After grieving, it’s time to discover where our troubles are coming from. To understand the basic concept of Divine providence, that anything happening in our lives, whether good or bad, is not just by chance, but rather G-d's plans. Our lives are perfectly packed "suitcases" that G-d Himself packed. Since G-d is the One who created us, surely He knows what our strengths and weaknesses are and wouldn't throw in anything He saw we couldn't handle. And then to come to a further understanding that G-d is good and the only reason something may seem bad is because it’s coming from “the hidden (spiritual) world,” where G-d’s light is in fact even greater than the light in the “revealed (spiritual) world,” it is just concealed to our mortal eyes. This means that not only are our misfortunes not random, but rather Divine providence, but they are in fact good! This second level of understanding is, of course, a lot harder to really internalize.


Step 3: Move On. Use the Tragedy as a Reason to Come Closer to G-d and Be a Better Person

Being that this misfortune is in fact from G-d’s greatest light, it can be used as a tool to come closer to G-d. Mrs. Kreiman told about a film she watched of an old Jew who returns to his broken home and starts to rebuild from the rubble, “As he’s rebuilding a stick is thrown at him. He takes the stick and uses it to build his home. Then a brick is thrown at him, and it hits him hard, but he uses it to help him rebuild his home.” We must use the stones that G-d throws at us as a way to rebuild. When the Jews were leaving Egypt, they came to the Yam Suf and the Egyptians were coming behind them. Some of them wanted to fight the Egyptians, some wished to commit suicide, some began to pray, and others were ready to surrender. G-d was not happy with any of these solutions and commanded, "Forge forward!" and they did and the sea split for them5. If only we can keep trucking after a tragedy, G-d will make great miracles for us.

Mrs. Lynda Fishman, a woman whose mother and two sisters were killed in an airplane accident when she was thirteen years old, said, “When a person gets lost on the road, will he stop and think about how and why he got lost? He’ll recalculate his G.P.S. and move on… Focus on the future… Move on… Dedicate your life to helping others… Not only will this distract you from the misery of your tragedy but it will make you happy because being fulfilled brings happiness… Focus on the revealed good in your life… Count your blessings.6”

Mrs. Fishman’s words are wise but it is important to focus this growth to spiritual growth. We now know that tragedies and misfortunes are really coming from G-d’s utmost goodness, therefore the tragedies we are faced with should be used to come closer to G-d. To do more Torah and mitzvos and strengthen our connection to our Father in Heaven.

Conclusion
When hit with misfortune: grieve it, remember where it came from- that in fact it is good because it is from the “hidden (spiritual) world,” and use it to move on and be a better, more spiritual person than before.



Disclaimer

This is only when it comes to one's own personal tragedy. When the person next to us is going through pain we have no right to start thinking “It’s G-d! G-d did this to him. In truth it’s good!” As the Baal Shem Tov said, “Everything comes from G-d. Even atheism comes from G-d! When should we be atheists? When another person is in pain.” When another person is in pain, we may not make calculations as to whether he should truly rejoice in his misfortune for it may in fact be a blessing in disguise… we have to remove G-d from the picture, and help him out in any way we can.7



My Inspiration

There are three things that must affect a person: money, alcohol, and Chassidus. If a person has money and doesn’t become crazy from it, give him a little more money and he’ll surely become crazy. If a person drinks alcohol and doesn’t become drunk, give him a little more alcohol and he’ll surely become drunk. If a person learns Chassidus and doesn’t become a happier, more refined person, give him some more Chassidus and he’ll surely be affected. Thank G-d I was given a father who learnt Chassidus, and learnt enough that it actually affected him and helped him deal with his losses. G-d gave my father a suitcase packed with many losses, starting with his father’s passing when he was fourteen years old, followed by the loss of four siblings. My father, to me, is living proof of what it means to take everything in this essay and make it real, to use Chassidus as a tool to be a happy person and make those around us happy too, despite tragedy. My inspiration for this essay is my father.





Read more MyLife Essays

Footnotes and Sources:
1. Chapter 11 of Igeres Hakodesh, Tanya
2. Yoma 23a
3. This has to do with the source of the worlds. The “hidden world” stems from the letters vav and hei of G-d’s name yud-hei-vav-hei, while the “revealed world” stems from the letters yud and hei.
4. TORAHCafe: Taking On The Impossible   By: Mrs. Devorie Kreiman
5. Torahs Menachem Chelek Lamed Gimmel, Yud Shvat

6.TORAHCafe: Surviving and Thriving After Tragedy   By: Mrs. Linda Fishman
7. TORAHCafe: Why Me G-d? Where Is G-d When it Hurts?   By: Rabbi Yosef Y. Jacobson

What I want My Daughters To Know

What I want My Daughters To Know
Author unknown

1.  Lady-like behavior is not weakness.  It’s being gracious, kind, and hospitable.  It’s having enough respect for yourself and consideration for others to dress modestly, speak kind words, and maintain self-control even when you’re angry.  It’s difficult to be lady-like in today’s culture.  But, it’s worth it.
2.  Being a mother is an incredibly beautiful experience.
3.  You should never date a man that you already know you shouldn’t marry.  Every marriage began with a first date.  If you know he is bad news, if you know you are incompatible, don’t go out on a date with him.  Once you fall in love it’s hard to see clearly where your mistakes are being made.
4.  Make it your goal to be healthy, not thin.  There is more to life than dress size.
5.  Don’t look to a man or me or any other human to give you a sense of worth.  You are already worth more than all the fortunes of the world because Hashem made you and He loves you.  If you depend on people to make you feel like you matter, you will be disappointed.  But, Hashem never disappoints.
6.  Life is too short to wear shoes that hurt your feet.
7.  There will be things about your body that you will dislike for your entire life.  Try not to obsess over them.  Just remember that everyone else is too worried about their own bodies to think much about yours.
8.  If you marry a dreamer, don’t kill his enthusiasm with negativity.  Support his crazy ideas and love him through his successes and failures.  Be his biggest cheerleader.
9.  Setting conditions on your happiness will never lead to a happy life.  Instead of thinking, “I’ll be happy once I get this or that,” determine to be happy where you are, as much as you can.  It doesn’t matter what you drive or what kind of house you live in.
10. Crying is not the most effective way to get your point across, but if you are naturally a crier, embrace it.  Let the tears flow, and don’t worry about what people think.  All of the criers I’ve ever known endeared themselves to me immediately.  (And, you come from a long line of criers.)
11. Try new things as often as possible, even if you’re scared.  And especially if you can prove to someone that you’re not scared.
12. Women age faster than men do, especially if we birth and raise children. Men look distinguished as they age.  Try not to let it bother you.  The bright side is that we live longer.
13. Try to be sympathetic to the plight of men.  If you marry a good one, he will work hard his whole life to take care of you.  He will walk through the house at night, making sure that everyone is safe.  Yes, even in this age of women who claim they don’t need to be looked after, he will feel responsible for keeping you and your children alive and happy.  This is a heavy burden to bear, and one that women overlook too often.
14. Obsessing over housework is not only unpleasant for your family, but it makes others afraid to invite you over.  Find a happy medium, and keep a neat house without letting it rule your lives.
15.  It isn’t true that you don’t need friends once you are married.  Keep close friendships with other women throughout all of the phases of your life.
16.  It’s easy to get a martyr complex when you’re a mother.  Don’t do it.  Everyone you know is working hard and doing things that they don’t want to do on a regular basis. It’s part of being a grown up human.
18. Don’t be afraid to love people.  Women naturally feel things deeply, but too much fear of being hurt will keep us from giving ourselves away for the people we care about.  You may get hurt.  Love anyway.
19. Try to find the delicate balance between humility and confidence.  Humility comes from knowing your own tendencies to sin; confidence comes from trusting that Hashem can do great things through you.  Women have a special gift for striking this balance.
20. Hashem made you who you are for a purpose.  He will use your unique gifts.  Be grateful, love Him well, and trust Him to make you a woman with a heart like His.

The Blessing Of Self Sacrifice What A Mindblowing Story!

The Blessing of Self-Sacrifice

When a person is willing to sacrifice of himself to help others, it brings blessing and salvation. The following story, which took place about five years ago, was told by Rav Chaim Zayad from Yeshivat Nachalat Shelomo in Bnei Brak and was printed in a magazine called Sha'ah Tova.

One of the Rabbi's students, whose name is Uriel, was diagnosed at the age of 22 with a brain tumor,לא עלינו. Uriel was sent to France for treatment, but the doctors there were unable to control the disease. They told the family that there is nothing left to do.

Nevertheless, the family did not give up. They consulted with many people and eventually got in touch with a bikur cholim society in a major city in the United States. They were given the name of a "Professor Rich" who was swiftly gaining a reputation for a unique treatment that offered hope to patients who other experts had already given up on.

The treatment involved an operation, and his fee was a staggering $130,000. The family had no way of coming up with that kind of money. Also, it was determined that the patient was too weak to travel; that meant that Professor Rich would have to be flown in, housed, and provided with a rented operating room in a private hospital. All this added another $30,000 to the bill. They turned to several charity funds, but none could commit to such large sums. They inquired about private donors, but couldn't find any. There was no sign of help from any angle. They felt helpless as they watched Uriel's condition worsening.

Rabbi Zayad, who was heavily involved from the beginning, said that shortly thereafter, he received a phone call from a woman, Michal Abitbol, who introduced herself as Uriel's sister. She said, "Tell the doctor we're going through with the surgery. We decided to sell our apartment." Her husband was a Rabbi who didn't have a high income, and they had six children. Rabbi Zayad urged her to think this over, but she was adamant, saying, "We have to do our part and Hashem will help with the rest." She immediately put her apartment in Ramat Beit Shemesh on the market. She asked for a discounted price of $130,000, on condition that full payment was made upfront. A buyer quickly materialized, eager to snatch up this bargain, and the deal was finalized. The doctor was contacted and the surgery was scheduled.

Meanwhile, Rabbi Zayad went into action to raise the remaining $30,000. He turned to all of his former students and asked each one to pledge 1000 shekel. A couple of days later, a few of the students hired a driver to take them around to collect that money. That afternoon, Yehuda, one of the students, called the Rabbi and said that the driver is asking them to deliver a suitcase to a certain address; should they do it? The Rabbi was concerned that something illegal was going on. He told them to refuse. A few minutes later, Yehuda called back to say that the driver was pleading with them. The Rabbi said, "Tell him to stop by the yeshiva and I'll speak with him directly."

When they arrived, the driver explained that earlier that morning, he picked up a very distinguished looking man from the airport and drove him to his hotel. After he dropped him off, he discovered that the man had left a small valise behind. By the time he noticed, a few hours had already passed. He opened it up to see what was inside, hoping it would be filled with money, but instead, all he saw were some strange instruments. So much time had already passed that he was embarrassed to go back. That is why he is asking the students to do it.

Rabbi Zayad was intrigued and looked at the name tag on the valise. His face turned white. It belonged to none other than Professor Rich, who was supposed to be arriving that day. They contacted him, and he came down to meet them in his hotel lobby. Professor Rich's mouth dropped when he saw the valise. He had despaired of ever finding it. He said, "This case contains all of my surgical equipment for an operation that I came to perform here. The contents are worth as much as $40,000. But, it's not just the money. These items are irreplaceable. I designed many of them myself after months of research and effort."

The Rabbi then told the doctor, "I want you to realize that something incredible just happened. You are here to operate on one of my students and your equipment was found in a car that was being used by his friends to raise money to pay for it. Surely, you see the Divine Providence. And another thing, you probably don't know that this operation was made possible by my student's sister, who sold her apartment to pay for it. Now, she and her six children have no roof over their heads."

The professor was taken aback by the self-sacrifice of the family. He wasn't a Jew, but he was very touched by Mrs. Abitbol's selfless action. After a moment of silence, the professor said he was going to forgive the payment of $130,000. It was like a dream. That week, the surgery took place at a private hospital in Herzliya and B"H, it was a success.

While Uriel was recuperating, his sister was faced with a dilemma. She had her money back, but it was too late to reclaim her apartment. She and her husband decided, "If we are going to move, let us pursue our dream of living in Jerusalem." They went to see some real estate agents who all told them that they'll never be able to find anything for $130,000. As they were walking through the streets of Jerusalem, they saw a "For Sale" sign and decided to take a chance. It was a five room apartment in excellent condition. They loved the apartment, but when they asked the price, they were disappointed to find out it was $310,000.

The owner asked how much they could pay, and he was agitated when he found out that they had less than half. "Please don't waste my time here," he said.

They started to tell him the story of how they sold their apartment to pay for a surgery, and he stopped them right away. He asked, "Are you Mrs. Abitbol, by any chance?" "Yes," she said. "I can't believe it," the man replied. "I am the driver who found the valise of the doctor. I was so impressed to hear of your self-sacrifice." He told them that he was selling this apartment because he just received an inheritance from his mother, as well as a nice villa in a quiet settlement to which he was moving. With tremendous generosity, he offered to give them their dream apartment for whatever they had.

The Hashgacha of Hashem here was so clear. The Abitbols were willing to sacrifice their house to help someone in need. Not only did Hashem bring the healing, but He worked it out that they got it for free and even gained their dream apartment. Yes, mesirut nefesh (self-sacrifice) brings miracles!!!

A Story Of The Rebbe

I heard the following story,from the Rebbe’s secretary, Rabbi Leibel Groner, sheyichye. He noted that he [who has seen the greatness of the Rebbe thousands of times] was astounded from this story.

It was in the 1960’s, during the Cold War, and a Jewish professor at Harvard University came up with a new insight in Chemistry and received numerous accolades for it. He then received an invitation from a university in Russia to travel with the other professor who worked on this research to present it to the professors and advanced students.

Not knowing what to do, he discussed it with his administration and they thought that some good could come out of such a visit and advised them to accept the invitation, but to keep it extremely low key. There would be no publicity or press releases stating that they were going, and, in fact, they should not even inform the American government. They should fly there, perhaps going through a third country and all will be good. The only ones that would know their true destination would be their families.

On the day before the trip, the Jewish professor received a phone call. The caller introduced himself as a secretary of the Lubavitcher Rebbe and said, “The Rebbe would like to meet with you today.” The professor was preparing to depart the next day and was quite busy so he replied that he appreciated the invitation, but, he was extremely occupied and would be honored to meet the Rebbe in a few weeks, whenever it is convenient for the Rebbe.

The secretary replied, “The Rebbe does not usually call people to speak to them. However, when he does, it is concerning something of utmost importance, either concerning the (Jewish) community at large or the individual himself. Therefore I don’t think it is wise to postpone this meeting.” “Of course,” he continued, “you have to fit it into your tight schedule and the Rebbe is not stating a time. You can come at whatever time is good for you.”

Hearing these words, the professor told the secretary he would come sometime between [specified] hours and he indeed came. Entering the Rebbe’s room, the Rebbe greeted him and said, “Being that you are going to Russia tomorrow, our brethren there are in dire need of tefillin, mezuzos, talleisim, etc. I would be extremely grateful if you would take a box of these items with you.”

The man stood there shocked. He was not a Lubavitcher, nor was he connected to any Lubavitcher. How in the world did the Lubavitcher Rebbe know about this trip and its true destination, when his own children were not given that information? But at the same time, he was afraid of bringing in illegal items, since that could create an extremely precarious situation, so he expressed his hesitancy to the Rebbe.

The Rebbe replied, “I assure you, nothing bad will come to you because of this.” Hearing such a resolute assurance and still astonished by the Rebbe’s knowledge of his trip, the professor agreed.

The Rebbe then informed him the package would be delivered to his house and then concluded, “I am extremely grateful to you for doing me this favor and therefore I will do you a favor in return.”

The person thanked the Rebbe, although he had no idea what favor the Rebbe was planning on doing for him and he had not requested any brocha for anything, and he left.

The next morning, a young man brought over the sealed box and said, “The Rebbe instructed me to tell you that he appreciates the favor you are doing for him and he will do a favor for you.” Perplexed at the meaning of this, but in a rush to leave, the professor said thank you and continued his last minute preparations.

When he arrived in Russia, he saw how the customs agents were so meticulous in searching everyone’s bags. They emptied out entire suitcases and went through each item, sometimes even unfolding shirts and refolding them as they placed them back. His heart was pounding; they would surely find the contraband and he would be in serious trouble.  But as soon as it was his turn to be questioned and searched, there was a switch of the guards and a new shift took over. The new agent took the box, opened it, and then suddenly closed it declaring the box was already searched by the previous agents. The agent then went through the professor’s personal suitcase with a fine tooth comb, examining each and every item.

The man stood there in bewilderment; it was obvious that the Lubavitcher Rebbe was mysteriously connected with this open miracle, but he had no idea how.

The welcome he received from the university was genuine and everyone was appreciative. The professor felt secure that everything was proceeding well. Then, two nights before he was supposed to leave, there was a loud knock on his hotel room door. Three armed men from the notorious KGB entered and declared the professors under arrest for being American spies. Confused by this accusation, the professors showed the officers the invitation from the university, as well as the itinerary detailing all the presentations they had given. However, the agents didn’t listen to a thing, handcuffed them, and brought them to prison for interrogation.

The professors steadfastly refused to admit to the accusation and fiercely demanded their release, saying they were invited here and the university paid for the trip, which had nothing to do with the government. Seeing that they were being ignored, they argued, “If something happens to us, the US government would hold it against you, so it is in Russia’s best interest to leave us alone and allow us to return home.”

The interrogator just smiled and said, “We have ways of arranging accidents on the road and the American officials will find you dead from a car accident and everyone will think that you were driving too fast on unfamiliar roads, or something like that, and that sometimes accidents happen.”

On the third day of their imprisonment, agents came in, blindfolded them and led them to a car. They thought this was the end; that the KGB was actually going to carry out their threat. Sometime later, the car stopped and the blindfolds were removed, and the professors saw that they were at the airport. The guard handed them their suitcase and said, “This time we are letting you spies leave, but if you ever come again, you won’t be so lucky.”

When they arrived in America, they were greeted by officials of the State Department and other agencies for a debriefing to try find out what had happened. The professor asked, “How did you know I was there and arrested?

Of course, we are grateful for your assistance in obtaining our freedom, but no one knew we were there, so how did you know?”

The official replied, “As you now realize, it was foolish of you to go without informing the government. We had no idea whatsoever; however, one day we received an anonymous call saying that two Americans are in a Russian prison. We immediately instructed our Ambassador to meet the appropriate officials in Russia to demand the release of these two Americans. The Russian government denied it;, however, they realized that we were on to something and therefore you were freed. You have to thank your secret benefactor.”

The professor concluded, “I toiled to find out who gave our government the information. Ultimately, I was able to find out that the phone call was traced back to a n office in Brooklyn. Someone in the Rebbe’s office made this phone call.

So, yes, I did him a small favor and did he do me a tremendous favor. Oh, did he repay me!”

You Never Know.........

 Never Judge A Person 

"My boss drove a luxury car everyday"

 My boss drove a luxury car everyday and it was my duty to greet him and to open the gates for him, as I worked as a watchman in his villa. But he never responded back to my greetings.

One day he saw me opening the garbage bags outside the villa in search for any leftover food. But, as usual he never even looked at me, it was like as if he never saw anything!

The very next day I saw a paper bag at the same place, but it was clean and the food inside was covered well. It was fresh and good food like someone had just brought it from the supermarket. I didn't bother as to where it came from, I just took the paper bag and I was so happy about it.

Every day I found this paper bag at the same place with fresh vegetables and all that we needed for home. This became my daily routine. I was eating and sharing this food with my wife and kids. I was wondering who this fool could be?! To forget his paper bag full of fresh food everyday.

One day there was a big problem in the villa and I was told that my boss has died. There were too many guests coming to the villa that day and I didn't get any food that day, so I thought that one of the guests must have taken it. But the same thing happened the 2nd day, the 3rd day and the 4th day.

It went on like this for a few weeks and I found it difficult to provide food for my family, so I decided to ask the wife of my boss for a raise in my salary or else I would quit my job as a watchman.

After I told her, she was shocked, and asked me, how come you never complained about your salary for the last 2 years? And why is this salary not enough for you now? I gave her so many excuses but she was never convinced!

Finally in the end, I decided to tell her the truth, I told her the entire story of the bag of groceries, and as to how it was my daily provision. She then asked me as to when this stopped? I told her after the death of her husband. And then I realized that I stopped seeing the paper bag immediately after the death of my boss. Why didn't I ever think of this before? That it was my boss who was providing this for me? I guess it was because I never thought that a person who never replied to my greetings could ever be this generous!

His wife started to cry and I told her to please stop crying and that I'm really sorry that I asked for a raise, I didn't know that it was your husband who was providing me with the meals, I’ll remain as a watchman and be happy to provide my service.

His wife told me, I'm crying because I've finally found the 7th person my husband was giving this bag full of food. I knew my husband was giving 7 people everyday, I had already found the 6 people, and all these days I was searching for the 7th person. And today I found out.

From that day onwards, I started to receive the bag full of food again, but this time his son was bringing it to my house and giving it to my hand. But whenever I thanked him, he never replied! Just like his dad!

One day, I told him THANK YOU in a very loud voice! He replied back to me to please not be offended when he doesn't reply, because he has a hearing problem, just like his dad!”

Oh! We have been wrong so many times judging others without knowing the true story behind their actions. Be kind and courteous in dealing with others, for everyone is fighting a hard battle. Be careful, not everything is about you. Before you assume, there is this thing called ASKING.

Don’t just jump to conclusion, because that is truly not an exercise, it may cause you more harm at the end of the day. Many of our problems are caused by how we process what happens around us. Don’t judge a situation you have never been in. Be humble enough to learn. You do not know it all. Lets change the way we feel about ourselves and others.

There are two sides to a story. Don’t believe everything you hear.

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.y and it was my duty to greet him and to open the gates for him, as I worked as a watchman in his villa. But he never responded back to my greetings.

One day he saw me opening the garbage bags outside the villa in search for any leftover food. But, as usual he never even looked at me, it was like as if he never saw anything!

The very next day I saw a paper bag at the same place, but it was clean and the food inside was covered well. It was fresh and good food like someone had just brought it from the supermarket. I didn't bother as to where it came from, I just took the paper bag and I was so happy about it.

Every day I found this paper bag at the same place with fresh vegetables and all that we needed for home. This became my daily routine. I was eating and sharing this food with my wife and kids. I was wondering who this fool could be?! To forget his paper bag full of fresh food everyday.

One day there was a big problem in the villa and I was told that my boss has died. There were too many guests coming to the villa that day and I didn't get any food that day, so I thought that one of the guests must have taken it. But the same thing happened the 2nd day, the 3rd day and the 4th day.

It went on like this for a few weeks and I found it difficult to provide food for my family, so I decided to ask the wife of my boss for a raise in my salary or else I would quit my job as a watchman.

After I told her, she was shocked, and asked me, how come you never complained about your salary for the last 2 years? And why is this salary not enough for you now? I gave her so many excuses but she was never convinced!

Finally in the end, I decided to tell her the truth, I told her the entire story of the bag of groceries, and as to how it was my daily provision. She then asked me as to when this stopped? I told her after the death of her husband. And then I realized that I stopped seeing the paper bag immediately after the death of my boss. Why didn't I ever think of this before? That it was my boss who was providing this for me? I guess it was because I never thought that a person who never replied to my greetings could ever be this generous!

His wife started to cry and I told her to please stop crying and that I'm really sorry that I asked for a raise, I didn't know that it was your husband who was providing me with the meals, I’ll remain as a watchman and be happy to provide my service.

His wife told me, I'm crying because I've finally found the 7th person my husband was giving this bag full of food. I knew my husband was giving 7 people everyday, I had already found the 6 people, and all these days I was searching for the 7th person. And today I found out.

From that day onwards, I started to receive the bag full of food again, but this time his son was bringing it to my house and giving it to my hand. But whenever I thanked him, he never replied! Just like his dad!

One day, I told him THANK YOU in a very loud voice! He replied back to me to please not be offended when he doesn't reply, because he has a hearing problem, just like his dad!”

Oh! We have been wrong so many times judging others without knowing the true story behind their actions. Be kind and courteous in dealing with others, for everyone is fighting a hard battle. Be careful, not everything is about you. Before you assume, there is this thing called ASKING.

Don’t just jump to conclusion, because that is truly not an exercise, it may cause you more harm at the end of the day. Many of our problems are caused by how we process what happens around us. Don’t judge a situation you have never been in. Be humble enough to learn. You do not know it all. Lets change the way we feel about ourselves and others.

There are two sides to a story. Don’t believe everything you hear.

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

What A Warm Inspiring Story!

What An Amazing Story!

http://m.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/516206/jewish/My-JetBlue-Minyan.htm

Hold On!

When A Man Tells His Wife She is Beautiful

http://hevria.com/rivka/what-happens-when-a-man-tells-his-wife-she-is-beautiful/

Nice Lesson Learned! By Uriel

This past Monday night, Miss Colombia, Ariadna Gutiérrez, was crowned Miss Universe on live television. Millions of people worldwide watched as she was awarded the grand title of glory and fame. Ecstatic, Gutiérrez paraded before the applauding audience in her glittering crown and Miss Universe sash with a tiny Colombian flag in her hand—a moment she had certainly yearned for and dreamed of for years. Finally, she had made it!

For about three minutes.

Then, in what was considered one of television’s most awkward moments ever, the host, Steve Harvey, announced that he had made a mistake, and the real winner was Miss Phillipines, Pia Alonzo Wurtzbach. Apologizing profusely, Harvey said he had made an error reading the card, and so, in a moment of much confusion, the crown, glory and fame was stripped from Miss Colombia and given to Miss Philippines.

Awkward as the moment was, its timing was uncanny, because it teaches us an important lesson in conjunction with this week’s Torah portion.

This week, we read about the Jews’ years of comfort and satiety in Egypt. Yosef, a highly-respected, well-regarded Jew, is viceroy of the entire country—the most powerful Jew ever to live. He helps save the country from famine, and the Jews are happy and prosperous. His father Jacob is considered a miracle worker and when he dies, hundreds of thousands of people attend his funeral.

Then, in the blink of an eye, everything changes. A new king replaces the old one, and the Jews become tortured slaves, blamed for everything. They are completely powerless, at the mercy of their taskmasters, beaten and massacred. For two hundred and ten years.

When a person passes away, all their physical wealth—gold, silver, Jewels, dollar bills—is stripped away. It becomes meaningless. The only items of value we can take with us as we journey into the Next World, are the good deeds that we performed during our lifetime. The Torah we have learned and the mitzvot we have performed cannot be taken away from us.

Life can change in the blink of an eye, but the more Torah we study, and the more good deeds we do, the better off we will be, no matter what else comes our way.

Great Marriage Advise

Lol

Nobody Really Knows You

Lol

Love This Quote!

Mom Of 20 Kids Speaks!!!!!

HOW 1 MOTHER CARED FOR 20 CHILDREN AND HERSELF AS WELL 

as told to C. Saphir

C. Saphir's weekly Mishpacha Magazine column "Lifelines" is the first thing I read every week when Mishpacha comes to my door, and the following excerpt is taken from an article so wonderful I have been waiting for my birthday (today!) to give it as a present to my dear JewishMOMs. What I love most about this mother's story is how she chooses, time and again, to cope with a potentially overwhelming life by taking responsibility for her own happiness. 

A MOTHER OF PEARLS as told to C. Saphir

When I was younger, I didn’t imagine myself becoming a mother of 20 children. Even today, I don’t think of myself as “the lady with 20 children.” I was fortunate that Hashem blessed me – not only with 20 beautiful children, but also with the type of husband, the type of nature, and the type of kochos [energy] necessary to raise such a family. 

Today, all but the youngest of my children are married, yet I don’t consider myself any sort of expert. Every person is different, every spouse is different, every child is different, and every home is different. I would never assume that what worked for me would work for someone else....

“Still,” people ask me, “How did you manage?”

Although I don’t feel that my overall experience is instructive for anyone else, I can think of certain attitudes that helped me along the way. 

I’m the type of person who likes to be happy. I’m not going to wait for someone else to make me happy – I’m going to do what it takes to make myself happy. For instance, instead of waiting for my husband to buy me something I wanted, I would buy it, wrap it up nicely, write a little poem, and present it to my husband, Shea, to give to me. I wouldn’t spend a lot of money on these little gifts to myself – I couldn’t do that without consulting with my husband – but to me, a present was a present regardless of the price tag. 

It was a win-win proposition: I created opportunities for my husband to give to me, and I made myself happy, without putting pressure on my husband or on our bank account. 

When one of my daughters was engaged, I bought myself a pair of mother-of-pearl earrings. I gave it to Shea – gift-wrapped, with a note – and asked him to give it to me on the day of our daughter’s wedding. 

On the day of the wedding, he forgot all about it. So I wore a different pair of earrings. 

Had I really wanted to wear those particular earrings to my daughter’s wedding, I would have reminded Shea about it. I wasn’t trying to test him and see if he remembered that he was supposed to give me something – I just wanted to be happy. As it happened, on the day of the wedding I didn’t care that much which earrings I wore, so I decided not to mention it. 

It took a few months until Shea remembered about the earrings. My nephew, Yanky, was getting married then, so my husband asked me, “Does it count if I give it to you before Yanky’s wedding?”

“Why not?” I responded. “It’s always nice to get a present.” And I really enjoyed the note I had written to myself, about being the mother of pearls. 

Once, I was at a wedding with my mother-in-law, and she admired the ring I was wearing. It was a $16 ring I had picked up for myself. 

“Shea bought it for me for our anniversary,” I told her. 

Later, when Shea and I were leaving the hall, we gave my in-laws a ride home. 

“Shea,” my mother-in-law said, “that’s a beautiful ring you bought Goldie for your anniversary.”

“I’m glad you like it,” he said, without missing a beat. He already knew my meshugassen [nonsense]. 

When we got home, he said, “Let me see the ring I bought you.” 

He was happy, I was happy, and my mother-in-law was happy. What could be better? 

Shea worked a long day, coming home late in the evening. When he walked through the door, the kids knew that for the first 20 minutes or so after he came home, they should play quietly and not disturb him. He and I would sit down in the kitchen to eat supper, and that was our time together. If the children needed something, they would have to wait. 

Shea and I didn’t take vacations. I felt that my role in life was to take care of my children, not to send them away. 

So I created my own vacations. I was almost always home with my children, so getting out of the house for an hour was a vacation, even if it was just a trip to the grocery. If I couldn’t get out of the house, and I felt I needed a break, I would closet myself in the kitchen for a minute or two, and ask Hashem to give me energy to cope with whatever situation I was dealing with. I tried to preface these requests with a brief expression of thanks – as my aunt used to say, if you ask the Ribbono Shel Olam [Master of the Universe] for a favor without thanking him first, you’re a shnorrer. These impromptu tefillos [prayers] gave me renewed energy, because they reminded me that Hashem is in charge, and gave me the confidence that He would help me.  

Once a year, I went to Florida for a week. I did that without packing a suitcase, making any babysitting arrangements, or even stepping foot out of the house. The week I was in Florida, I didn’t go around the house each morning making the beds and straightening up the rooms. I didn’t do any ironing. I didn’t make suppers that involved much preparation – the kids ate tuna sandwiches or scrambled eggs. At night, I did a jigsaw puzzle. 

No one besides Shea knew I was in Florida; it was our little secret. The kids never noticed that I wasn’t putting in a full day’s work. They had no idea that I was vacationing right under their noses! 

But for me, the best vacation was when a day just went smoothly – a day when everyone found their socks and shoes in the morning, when no one forgot their lunch at home, when the baby napped at the right time, when the kids came home from school happy. 

To give myself as many of these “vacation” days as possible, I set up systems that would make the house run smoothly. School lunches were prepared the night before. Each younger child was paired with an older child who was responsible for dressing them in the morning. There were checklists on the wall for each child reminding them of all the things they had to do before going to bed – prepare knapsack, brush teeth, choose clothing, etc. 

These systems didn’t replace my role as a mother, they merely smoothed out the technicalities so that I could focus my attention on the children themselves. I was able to sing the children to sleep, do arts ‘n crafts with them, and write them each little personalized notes.

One invaluable system I implemented was that a week before each family wedding, we had a dress rehearsal. Each child got dressed head to toe, and I made sure that every garment and accessory was ready to go. Once, I noticed that my son’s pants were too short. Another time, I noticed that my daughter’s petticoat was sticking out, and that a different child’s shoes were scuffed. At that point, it was no big deal to buy a new pair of pants, get the petticoat hemmed, and polish the scuffed shoes. But had I noticed these little things on the day of the wedding, I would either have had to deal with them on the spot, which would have caused stress, or I would have had to tell the child, “Tough luck, I can’t deal with this now,” which would have caused agmas nefesh [distress] for both the kid and me. 

The night before the wedding, I handed each child a pile of everything they would need the next day, from yarmulke to necktie, from headband to necklace. The morning of the wedding, the kids would go to school until twelve, and then they would come home, shower, take their respective piles, and get themselves ready. Those wedding days were some of my best vacations. 

Then there were plenty of days that were not vacations. Days when one child would wake up with high fever, another would miss his bus, a third would be frantically searching through the laundry for a pair of tights, and a fourth would vomit all over the carpet. All at the same time. 

On a day like that, I would tell myself, This day is going to pass. It’s only 24 hours, no matter what. At the end of such a day, I would think, Tomorrow will be better. I didn’t dwell on the mishaps and frustrations of the day that passed. Rather, I tried to set things up so that these glitches wouldn’t happen again in the future, and then I put them behind me. What was the use in beating myself up over what gone wrong today, or what I hadn’t managed to do? I was just a human being, and I didn’t have to be perfect. 

If there was something I could fix, I did. If not, there was no use thinking about it, because being upset at myself was not going to make things happen. Gam zu l’tovah, everything is for the best. If I didn’t accomplish everything I had hoped to do, there was always tomorrow. My motto was, “Yesterday is chaloimos [dreams], tomorrow is dimyoinos [imagination], and today we have to live.” Not dwelling on the failures of yesterday or the worries of tomorrow freed me to enjoy the present and focus on the many good parts of my life. 

In general, I’m not the type of person who analyzes myself too much. If the kids were keeping me up night after night, I wouldn’t think to myself, This is terrible, I can’t sleep normally, I’m not functioning. If I was tired, I would go take a nap. I didn’t label things as “situations”; I took each day as it came. I had the same attitude toward my weight. I wanted to lose weight, but I wasn’t going to make myself sick over it. So at one point, I threw out my scale. If I managed to lose weight, good. If not, so what? It was more important to me that I should be happy. 

If I needed something, I’d get it for myself. In the early years, I was able to run the house without any cleaning help. At some point, it became too much for me, so I started taking hired help. I always preferred to take help on Sunday, to clean up after Shabbos; getting ready for Shabbos was a privilege I didn’t want to share with a cleaning lady. But that was my choice. If it would have been too hard for me, I wouldn’t have forced myself to do it. 

When my kids would ask me for something, I would ask them, “Do you need it, or do you want it?” 

If they said they needed it, I believed them, and I made sure they got it. But if they said they wanted it, I would say, “I’ll discuss it with Tatty.” When the kids would ask Shea for something, he would say, “I’ll discuss it with Mommy.” Sometimes the answer was yes, sometimes it was no, but because the no came from both of us – “Tatty and I decided…” – it usually met with little or no resistance. The kids knew, after all, that if they said they needed it, they would get it. The fact that they had 19 siblings had no bearing on their individual needs. Why should they feel deprived just because they came from a large family? 

When people hear that I have 20 children, their automatic reaction is often, “Wow, that’s so hard.” What they don’t realize is that the Ribbono Shel Olam sends, along with every child, the kochos to care for that child. Raising one child can be harder than raising ten.  

That’s why, when I look back at my years of childrearing, I don’t feel proud of myself. I feel incredibly blessed and grateful that Hashem entrusted these children to me, and gave me the kochos with which to raise them. Just as a rich person would be foolish to pride himself on the money Hashem gave him, it would be foolish for me to take credit for the beautiful family Hashem granted me, or to think that what worked for me will work for others. 

Once, my young daughter came home from school and reported that her classmate’s mother had come in as a guest speaker. “Why don’t you come speak to us, Mommy?” she asked. 

“When I’ll be completely successful with my own children, then I’ll lecture others,” I responded. 

She looked at me innocently, and chanted, “Try and fail, try and fail, but never fail to try again.” 

It was a mantra she had heard from a teacher, no doubt, but how well it summed up my approach to life. I have to use the kochos the Ribbono Shel Olam gave in the right way, and not expect too much of myself. That way, today will be good – and tomorrow will be even better. 

This article was reprinted with permission from Mishpacha Magazine. 

Available now from Artscroll/Mesorah--The Best of Lifelines by C. Saphir, with all new postscript follow-ups to each story.

Wow This Is Bashert!

A 25 year old yeshiva bachur was still not married. Usually, yeshiva bachurim get married at ages 22, 23, not older then that. So a 25 years old boy is considered old if he is not married by then. This boy went out with girls and after the first date, none of the girls wanted to continue going out with him. He had a scar on his cheek, that looked like a cut which

didn't look so good to the eye. He was an amazing boy, good middos, Yiras Shamayim, he was a really great boy. But every girl would go out with him on

a date, she would see his scar, and there would be no second date after that. Therefore, he got to the age of 25 and he was still not married. He goes to Rabbi  and he tells him "Kvod HaRav I don't know what to do. I want to get married. My friends are all married and I am still in yeshiva." And he told him that he thinks that it's because of his scar. 

Rav  told him "the next time you meet a girl, talk to her about your scar on the date and tell her the story about what caused you to have this scar". He didn't understand what difference it would make by him

telling his story since he knew that if the girl does not like his scar then it doesn't matter what caused it. One or two months passed by and a girl was

suggested to him. He looked into her, he hears that she is a very special girl with Yiras Shamayim, and exceptional middos. He asks what she looks

like and he is told that she looks good. This made him feel worried because he prefers that she is not going to be so good looking because he knew that

if she is really beautiful then she definitly won't be interested in him. So he thought to himself "maybe she doesn't look as good as people say, nobody

ever says about another person that she doesn't look good even if she is not so attractive." So he decided to go out with her. On the way to the date he

was very nervous. He was hoping that she wasn't so good looking. He was hoping that maybe something would come out of it. When he got there, he saw that not only did she look good, she looked stunning. She was gorgeous! He was very disappointed because he knew that a girl that looks like this would never want him. He went over to her and they started talking. He noticed her looking at his scar. As they were getting into a deeper conversation he saw how everything that he heard about her was really true. She had good middos,

Yiras Shamayim, she was truly a special girl. As hard as it was for him, he decided that since Rav Kanievsky told him that he should tell his story about his scar then he is going to do it. So he told her "I am sure you

realized the scar that I have on my cheek. Rav  told me to tell my story about this scar on the first date so I am going to tell it to you." He

told her that 5 years ago, when he was 20 years old, he came back from Yeshiva in Jerusalem. He was learning in Mir Yeshiva and when he left it was

late at night and it was very dark and deserted. All of a sudden he heard a young Jewish lady screaming. He saw an Arab man running after her and trying

to catch her. He immedietly caught the Arab man, and he held him back from hurting the lady. He screamed out for help and the neighbors came out of

their houses to see what is going on and the young lady was able to run away

before he did anything bad to her. He saved her, but before he himself could run away, the Arab man took out a knife and cut his face. He was taken to the hospital and he was healed. He told her that this is why he has this scar on his face until today. 

The girl lowered her eyes and when she lifted her eyes back again to look at him, he saw saw that she had tears in her eyes. She told him, "For years I

have been looking for the guy who saved me from that Arab man on that day".

They got married to each other and today they are happily married and they built a bayis ne'eman b'yisrael together. 

A person that is close to HaKadosh Baruch Hu, trusts in Him. You never know what Hashem plans for you and why he sends you certain challenges. You may not understand why it's taking so long for you to find your zivug and why it doesn't work out for you with anyone. But, whenever you find your zivug, everything will be clear to you.

Toby Lieder

Check out my Blog!

www.momof14.blogspot.comf

All Meant To Be

RABBI ASHEAR TRANSCRIPT

Directions from Above

Although Hashem doesn't reveal himself openly, He is with us all day long, guiding us and speaking to us. For example, if a person makes the proper hishtadlut to wake up for an early minyan, he sets his alarm and goes to sleep on time, but ends up sleeping through the alarm and has to pray at a later minyan, that was caused by Hashem. If the man sees someone at that minyan that he has been trying so long to get in touch with, he will understand one of the many reasons why Hashem directed him there. But even if nothing happens there and the day continues as usual, it doesn't take away from the fact that Hashem directed this man to that minyan and caused his schedule to be slightly altered.

Sometimes Hashem allows us to clearly see His guiding hand and sometimes He does not. Whether we see it or not, the fact is that we are always being guided. When we are able to clearly see how Hashem was guiding us, it gives us a lot of chizuk.

  

I read a story written by Mrs. Leah Tisser about a woman who went to Israel last year for Sukkot. The woman said she was going with her entire family to visit her son who was learning there and they were due to arrive the day before the holiday. They were driving down Ocean Parkway on the way to Kennedy Airport, when the woman suddenly remembered that she left her make-up bag on the dresser. They were about ten minutes from their house, but they didn't want to take the risk of missing the flight. Her husband told her to call the airlines to see if the flight was on time. She called El Al and asked if flight 354 to Tel-Aviv was leaving on time. The agent responded, "We don't have a flight 354 going to Tel-Aviv." She yelled back, "What do you mean you don't have a flight 354? Our ticket says flight 354 leaving for Tel-Aviv at 7:45 pm." She got very flustered. She told her husband, how could this happen? We were planning this trip for months. We have guests coming to us in Israel. Could they have canceled the flight without telling us? Her husband looked at the ticket and said, "No, it's our mistake. Our return flight is to Kennedy, but we're departing from Newark." Now they were really tight. It was going to take an extra half hour to get to that airport. They instructed the driver to turn west on the Belt Parkway, and they just made the flight. When they arrived in Israel, the woman opened her suitcase and saw the make-up bag right there on the top. Why did she think otherwise? That was Hashem practically telling them that they were going the wrong way.

A Rabbi told me this past Erev Shabbat Hanukah, he went to pray Mincha at a 12:45 minyan, but arrived a minute or two after they started. The shul had a mikveh in the basement, so he decided to go to the mikveh in honor of Shabbat and then pray at the 1:00 minyan. While in the mikveh, he noticed a very large bulging red patch of skin on his leg. He asked someone about it and the person responded that it looked very serious. "You need to go to a doctor right away." It was Friday afternoon, a couple of hours before Shabbat and the doctors close early. The Rabbi was very nervous. He prayed Mincha at the 1:00minyan and was thinking of leaving right after the Amida, but he convinced himself he'd be better off praying to Hashem and staying until the end. As he was leaving the shul at 1:15, he bumped in to a local dermatologist. Amazing! He asked the doctor if he would take a look at his leg. They went off to the side. The doctor told the Rabbi, you have cellulitis, a bacterial infection of the skin that could spread very quickly if not treated.  The doctor called in a prescription to a pharmacy down the block. And just like that, within minutes, the Rabbi was on antibiotic. Hashem was clearly directing him, making him late for the first minyan, finding the problem in the mikveh, meeting the doctor right after. 

Hashem is always guiding us, whether we realize it or not. We should always feel at ease knowing that our loving Hashem is always with us.

In One Split Second

In The Blink of an Eye

ישועת ה' כהרף עין, the salvation of Hashem comes in the blink on an eye. A person can hope and pray for something for so long but see no results. All of a sudden, when there seems nothing left to do and all hope is lost, the salvation comes. Everything the person had been hoping for materializes. This is ישועת ה' כהרף עין.

Sometimes salvation comes as a result of our efforts and sometimes it comes from a completely different source. The cause doesn't matter, because either way it's from Hashem. It's important for us to always remember, that although our efforts are necessary, they are not what bring us the results. Hashem told us to try and do everything we can to be successful. Once we've done our role, we've created a pipeline for Hashem to send His blessing.

If somebody tried in vain for months to sell a certain property and then one day, somebody out of the blue calls him and makes a great offer, he should not feel that his effort for the last few months were wasted. His hishtadlut created the pipeline, and Hashem sent the results.

  

We must never give up on our goals, especially when trying to do the will of Hashem. People trying for a long time to get married or have children could begin to feel "What's the point? I'm not seeing any results anyway. My efforts are futile." Nevertheless, Hashem wants them to continue hoping to Him. The salvation could come from a completely unexpected source, but it's only after we have made our efforts and continued to pray.

Someone recently showed me two articles that demonstrate this point. The first one told the story of a woman who once visited her aunt in the hospital. As she was walked down the hallway, an elderly gentleman stopped her and asked if she was religious. She responded yes. He then inquired if she knew of any middle aged men for his 38 year old daughter. The man said his daughter, Yael, became religious and was having a difficult time getting married. The woman replied that she just happened to have joined a network of shadchanim and would be glad to help.

She contacted the man's daughter and put her name on a list. Very shortly afterwards, someone in the network suggested Moshe, a 42 year old single. The match was set up, and Baruch Hashem, they are now happily married. One could imagine all the heartache Yael had experienced, all the tefilot she had prayed, all of the connections she had tried to make until the age of 38. All of a sudden, from a completely unexpected source, the ישועת השםcame בהרף עין.

The other article was about a couple named Avi and Rachel from Israel, who were married for many years with no children. After years of unsuccessful treatments in Israel, the couple decided, based on medical advice, to seek treatment in the United States. Even though they were unhappy with their daily routine in New York, they wanted children so badly that they were willing to stick it out. One day Avi was called back to Israel suddenly to tend to a family emergency. He went by himself and was going to return as soon as possible. As he was boarding the return flight, the clerk looked at his passport and shook his head. "You can't enter the US", he said and pointed to a large black stamp on the passport that Avi had never seen before.

Without a choice, he told his wife to return to Israel where they settled back into their old lives. A few months later, they discovered that Rachel was expecting. They weren't even undergoing any treatments at the time. Baruch Hashem, eight months later Rachel gave birth to identical twins. They had put in years of hishtadlut and tefilot, but in the end, Hashem brought the yeshua in the blink of an eye, right back where they started. Their effort were necessary, nothing was wasted. They opened the pipeline.

Hashem wants us to always keep trying and keep praying to Him. B'ezrat Hashem everyone who needs a yeshua will see the ישועת השם כהרף עין.

A Time To Rest Brilliant Video

http://youtu.be/L2GjmmbvfYY

The Rebbes Marching Orders

http://youtu.be/mI-LA0ppc2I

Prime Minister At Sydney Shul , beautiful

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RZocLdxaoPU&sns=fb

The Day After Chanukah Good Story

I know most rabbis will call people before Chanukah; however, I realized that the call after Chanukah can be even more appreciated.

Ethel Moshkowitz (named changed) taught me this important lesson and since then, every year for the last six years I call her on the day after Chanukah.

It was six years ago on the day after Chanukah when I met Ethel in the local kosher grocery and realized that she had forgotten one bag of groceries at the check-out line. I told the cashier that I would bring her the forgotten bag.

Ethel lives in a one bedroom apartment in a high-rise building in Passaic.

I called and told Ethel I had the groceries; and asked her, “If it was not too much trouble could I drop it by?”

Early that afternoon I drove to Passaic Ave and pressed the elevator button for the sixth floor.

As the elevator made its steady climb upward I thought just how happy Ethel must be.

Her son and daughter-in-law lived less than a mile away in Clifton and she had just spent Shabbos Chanukah by them along with their married children who live in Lakewood.

I could only imagine the nachas Ethel had from being with her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

As soon as the doors opened to the sixth floor I could hear the deafening sound of a blaring radio.

As I neared apartment 6B I realized that the blasting radio was emanating from Ethel’s apartment!

I rang her bell, knocked loudly and finally after what seemed like an eternity, Ethel opened the door.

“Hello Rabbi, please come in for a minute.”

I did not want to insult her, however, I did need her to lower the volume so I jokingly said, “That must be a very interesting show on the radio for you to have it on so loud!”

Ethel looked up and with complete sincerity replied, “Oh, the radio is on? I was not even listening; sometimes I forget I had turned it on.”

And then I uttered the words which I regretted saying the minute they left my mouth, “If you are not listening then why have the radio on and why so loud?”

Ethel suddenly became solemn and clarified somewhat apologetically,

“Rabbi, let me explain. 

Today is the day after Chanukah. 

Today everyone went home and back to their regular busy routine. 

My grandchildren were restless to get back to Lakewood and they drove home this morning.

And I am sure that my son and daughter-in- law are appreciating the peace and quiet as they are now able to get back to their regular work routine. 

I also came back to my apartment today.

However, for me what does today mean? 

Does it mean getting back into my ‘busy or exciting’ routine?

For me it means one thing: loneliness.

For the last few days of Chanukah I heard the voices of Jewish children.

 I heard them when I awoke and when I went to sleep.

 When I arrived back home I was ‘welcomed’ with the same sounds that have greeted me since my husband passed away - thesounds of silence. 

The silence is so painful and so haunting that I put on the radio just to hear another human voice.

I am sorry if the radio was disturbing.

For me the day after Chanukah or any Yom Tov when everyone excitedly gets back to their ‘real lives’, is the day I go back to my silent and lonely home. 

What for others is a day of joy, for me is a day of sadness”. 

As I left her with the red bag of groceries and made my way to the elevator, I turned around and saw Ethel Moshkowitz close her apartment door behind her. A minute later her radio was back on, perhaps a drop lower than before.