Dating Your Spouse! How To Do It Right!

Date Night

I try to do our date night on a Moitzay shabbos it is a great time since we are still in happy relaxed mode and haven't 

Started the week yet with all those commitments!

Make sure you're getting the most out of spending quality time together

Date night: how to do it right

Date nights are really important for every romantic relationship, no matter what stage: new, familiar, strained or decades old. They're great for being able to reconnect you as a romantic couple and become focused on being together. This comes very naturally in the beginning of a relationship, as you strive to discover one another and work out your common interests and passions. As time goes on, though, the temptation becomes to use time alone to have heavy discussions, or some couples get in the pattern of skipping date night altogether.

So to make the most of date nights, and really do them right so they are something you both look forward to, make sure you're doing at least the following key things:

1. Make it regular 

That may be once a week or once a month, but if it's regular and not just a "special occasion" then there won't be so much pressure each time to "do it up big" (expensive and fancy) or be ultra super duper romantic. Regular date nights should be a staple of your relationship. And the fancier romantic outings are your more special occasions. Don't let pressure creep into your time alone together.

2. Take turns planning 

Maybe one of you really does like to do something fancy each time, or get dressed in your best, while the other prefers a more casual, relaxed evening together, or even in! If you take turns and balance what each of you enjoys you'll both have your needs met. Also there won't be resentment by one person who does all the planning and booking. Share the responsibility equally for carving connected time out together.

3. Make your dates a phone-free zone 

No electronics, no smartphones, no distractions. Stop for a couple of hours and simply focus on one another. if you feel you need to check on a babysitter, do so once an hour. There's no need to keep your phone at the table. If there's an emergency, you'll hear the phone ring in your purse or pocket. Do not answer business or unimportant calls. Ask yourself: can this wait 60 minutes? The answer is in all likelihood, yes. Your partner is your priority on date nights, period.

4. Keep conversation upbeat and light

You know you can do this, because you did it in the courtship phase of your relationship. Maybe that was last year, or maybe it was more than ten years ago. Either way, we gravitate towards people who make us feel good, with whom we have a great time, who make us laugh, who stimulate our minds, and with whom we have common interests. Don't allow your alone time to be dominated by stressful talk of children's development, finances, work burdens or domestic issues. Instead talk about where you'd like to go for your next holiday, current events, interesting things happening in your neighborhood or with your friends and family. You can even talk about each other and what you enjoy about being in the moment of a date night, then and there. Reinforce how enjoyable it is and how nice it feels to just spend time together.

5. Break patterns and learn new things about each other

Think speed dating is just for singles? Play a game with each other. This is especially good for couples who tend to fall into the trap of talking about negative stressors when alone together, or who can't help but tell endless stories about people the other partner either doesn't like, has never met or doesn't know well. Make the most of this time getting to know each other better. Daydream about the future together. Ask each other where they'd like to be in five years. Brainstorm other great date nights to share together. Play conversation games where you ask each other the most random question you can think of: what was your favourite song in high school and why? What's your greatest fear? Who would you invite to dinner, living or dead? What would be the best place in the world to live? If you had to get up right now and sing a song or dance or make a speech, which would you choose and why? Make a bet on something. Dare each other to do something that night. Be silly. Be thoughtful. Spark together. Often we reserve these kinds of conversations for dinner parties or pub chat. But your time alone deserves lighthearted talk just as much as you each deserve to have fun and always learn more about one another.