What makes HAPPY people happy? (Shared by Toby Lieder}
What are the differences between happy people
and unhappy people? Of course, it should be very obvious:happy people are happy while
unhappy people are unhappy, right? Well, that is correct.But, we want to know what happy people do differently, so
I have put together a
list of things that happy people do differently than unhappy people.
1. Love vs. Fear
Well, I can tell you
for sure that those people who are really happy, fear less and love a lot more. They
see each moment, each challenge, each person as an opportunity to discover more
about themselves and the world around them.
2. Acceptance vs.
Resistance
Happy
people understand that you can’t really change a situation by resisting it, but
you can definitely change it by accepting that it is there and by understanding
that there might be a reason for its existence.
When something
unpleasant happens to them, they don’t try to fight it (they
know that this will
make the situation even worse), but they ask themselves questions like: What can I learn from
this? How can I make this
better? And then they focus on the positive, rather than on the negative. They
always seem to see the glass half full, no matter what happens to them.
3. Forgiveness vs.
Unforgiveness
Really happy people
know that it’s not healthy to hold on to anger. They choose to forgive and forget, understanding that forgiveness is a gift they give to
themselves first and foremost.
Holding
on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at
someone else; you are the one who gets burned
4. Trust vs. Doubt
They trust themselves
and they trust the people around them. Whether they are
talking to the
cleaning lady or the C.E.O. of a billion-dollar company, somehow they always seem
make the person they are interacting with feel that there is something unique
and special about them. They understand that beliefs are self-fulfilling prophecies.
Because
of that, they make sure to treat everyone with love, dignity and
respect, and make no distinction between age, sex, social status, color,
religion or race. These are the great men that Mark Twain was talking about: “Keep away from people
who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really
great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
5. Meaning vs.
Ambition
They do the things
they do because of the meaning it brings into their lives and because it gives
their lives a sense of purpose. They understand that “Doing what you love
is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life”
And they
care more about living a life full of meaning than what, in our modern society we would call,
living a successful life. The irony here is that most of the time they get both success and meaning because they choose to focus on doing the
things they love the most and they always pursue their heart‘s desires. They are not motivated by
money; they want to make a difference in the lives of those around them and in
the world.
6. Praising vs. Criticising
Happy people would
probably agree with Carl’s Jung theory on resistance: “What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.” They don’t criticise the absence of the behaviour they want to
reinforce, rather, they know by praising the person and the
behaviour they wish to reinforce (even if it’s not
often), they
will actually encourage the positive behaviour.
When a parent wants to
make sure their 7 year old girl will learn to always put the toys back in the
box after she’s done playing with them, they make sure not to focus on the many
times the child didn’t do it, criticising her and her behaviour, but every time the little girl does put the
toys back, the parent praises her and her behaviour and that is exactly
how they reinforce
the positive behaviour, and in the end get the wanted results.
7. Challenges vs.
Problems
Happy people will
see problems as challenges, as opportunities to explore new ways
of doing things, expressing their gratitude for them, understanding that
underneath them all lay many opportunities that will allow them to expand and
to grow.
8. Selflessness
vs, Selfishness
They do what they do
not for themselves, but for the good of others, making sure that they bring
meaning, empowerment and happiness to the lives of many. They look for
ways to give and to share the best of themselves with the world and to make other
people happy.
Before
giving, the mind of the giver is happy; while giving, the mind of the giver is
made peaceful; and having given, the mind of the giver is uplifted.
9. Abundance vs. Lack/
Poverty
They have an abundant
mindset, living a balanced life, achieving abundance in all areas of
life.
10. Dreaming Big vs.
Being Realistic
These
people don’t really care about being realistic. They love and dare to
dream big, they always listen to their heart and
intuition and the greatness of their accomplishments scares many of
us.
Dream
no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.
11. Kindness vs.
Cruelty
They
are kind to themselves and others and they understand the power of self-love,
self-forgiveness and self-acceptance.
12. Gratitude vs.
Ingratitude
No matter where they
look, no matter where they are or who they are with, they have the capacity to see beauty where most of us would only
see ugliness, opportunities where most of us would only see struggles,
abundance where most of us would only see lack and they express their gratitude
for all of it.
13. Presence/
Engagement vs. Disengagement
They know how to live
in the present moment, appreciating what they have and where they are, while
still dreaming big dreams about the future.
When
you are present, you can allow the mind to be as it is without getting
entangled in it. The mind in itself is a wonderful tool. Dysfunction sets in
when you seek yourself in it and mistake it for who you are.
14. Positivity vs.
Negativity
No matter what happens
to them, they always keep a positive perspective on
everything and by doing so, they tend irritate a lot of negative and
“realistic” people.
