25 Outstanding Practical Tips On Life!

25 Things About Life I Wish I Had Known 10 Years Ago

by DARIUS FOROUX

 “I know one thing: that I know nothing.”

 25 Awesome tips On Life!

“I know nothing” to me, means that you might be an educated person, but still, you know nothing. You can learn from everything and everyone.

One thing that I like better than learning from my mistakes is to learn from other people’s mistakes. Over the years, I’ve been blessed to have great mentors, teachers, family, friends, that taught me about life.

What you will find below is a list of the most important things I learned from other people and books. Some of the lessons took me a long time to learn—but if I had to learn these things all by myself, it would take me a lot longer.

We might learn things quickly, but we often forget things at the same rate—and sometimes we need to remind ourselves of the things we’ve learned.

Here are 25 of those reminders that others taught me.

1. Struggle Is Good
   Never say “I can’t take it anymore.” Say “Bring it on!”
2. Don’t ComplainComplaining is the biggest waste of time there is. Either do something about it, and if you can’t, shut up about it.
3. Spend Time With People You Love
   That’s your family and best friends. If you don’t have a family, create one. Most people in life are only visitors. Family is for life.
4. Don’t Start A Relationship If You’re Not In Love
   I’ve done this more than once. You kind of like someone and think: “We might as well give it a shot.” Not a good idea. You’re either in love, or you are not. Don’t fool yourself. It’s not fair to you and the other person.
5. Exercise Daily
   I didn’t get this until recently. A healthy body is where you have to start everything in life. If you can’t build a healthy and strong body, what CAN you build in life?
6. Keep A Journal
   No, keeping a journal is not for children. It helps you to become a better thinker and writer. “I don’t want to be a writer” you might think. Well, how many emails and texts do you send a day? Everybody is a writer.
7. Be Grateful
   Say ‘thank you’ to everyone and everything. “Thank you for this beautiful day.” “Thank you for your email.” “Thank you for being there for me.”
8. Don’t Care About What People Think
   We all die in the end, do you really think it matters what people think of you?
9. Take More Risks
   Don’t be such a wimp.
10. Pick An Industry, Not A Job
    If you want to become good at something, you need to spend years and years doing that. You can’t do that if you hop from industry to industry. Pick an industry you love and start at the bottom. You will find the perfect role for you eventually.
11. Lead The Way
    When you find yourself in a situation where everyone looks at each other, it’s time for you to lead. You‘re a leader when you decide to become one. There’s no initiation or a title. Just a decision.
12. Money Isn’t Important 
    It really isn’t. But you have to train yourself not to care about money. Don’t become too dependent on the stuff you own — otherwise, the stuff will own you.
13. Be Nice
    I don’t mean you should be a pushover. You can be someone that doesn’t take shit and be nice about it. Just don’t insult people, think you’re better than them, or act like an idiot.
14. Learn Every Day
    You’ve got to train your brain to stay alert. You don’t have to read a book a day to learn every day. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the people around you — be open to what they can teach you.
15. Rest Before You Are TiredEven if you love your job, and every day seems like a holiday, you need to take time to rest. You’re a human and not an android, never forget that.
16. Don’t Judge
    Just because people make different choices than you, they are not stupid. Also, you don’t know everything about people, so don’t judge them — help them.
17. Think About Others
    Just be mindful, that’s all. We all have families, bills to pay, and our own issues. Don’t always make everything about yourself.
18. Give Without Expecting Something In Return
    Don’t keep score. You will become a bitter person if you do that. Give solely for the joy of giving. If you get something in return, great, if you don’t, great.
19. There’s No End Game
    We, as a species, just are. Don’t try to figure it all out. Enjoy your journey.
20. Enjoy Small Things
    I like clichés because they are true. Especially this one. You know why? Everyone says they know it, but no one lives up to it. They just chase big things.
21. Don’t Take Yourself So Serious
    Yeah, yeah, you’re an individual, and people have to take you seriously, I get it. But at the end of the day, we’re all a bunch of ants trying to chase the same things. Lighten up.
22. Don’t Blame People
    What’s point? Do you want to punish them? You don’t do that to people. Also don’t blame yourself — you’re only human.
23. Create Something
    Not to leave a legacy, you won’t be here to see it anyway, but to be of use. Make music, write a book, build a table, anything. You’ll feel good about yourself, plus you give something back to people to use or enjoy.
24. Never Look Back Too Long
    Reflecting on the past is only good for one thing: Learning.
25. Take Action
    Don’t just sit there, do something. Without action, there is no outcome.

---

Warm story......You Never Know

I'm sure you get those emails as well. Usually it's from some non-jewish religion student, asking if they can interview you for their course about Judaism's view about G-d-knows-what. In our busy schedules we often brush them off or ignore the emails all together.


Early on in our Shlichus, my wife and I decided that no matter how busy life gets we would take the time for those one-off encounters, random emails and facebook messages.


About 3 years ago, I got a call from a 7th grader. He explained that his teacher asked him to interview a religious leader about the traditions of marriage in their religion. Even though he was not Jewish he had chosen to explore Judaism's view on marriage and asked if he can come interview me.


We scheduled an appointment and a few days later he came to my office together with his nanny, who had driven him to see me. For an hour or so, he drilled me with the questions he had been given by his teacher, and some of his own as well. Quite a serious kid, so much so that this encounter stands out in my mind. The nanny said but 2 words - she just sat in the back of the room, minding her own business. They bid farewell and I thought nothing of this encounter.


Today, a frum-looking woman walked into the Chabad house during davening. She sat quietly in the last row. During kiddush she told some of the women that three years ago, she was a nanny for about 3 months. One day, she had brought a 12 year old boy to ask me questions for a school project. She sat quietly, listening to our conversation about Jewish marriage. At the time, she was living with a non-jew and as a result of that random encounter she left him and began her path back to Judaism.



Never forget the power of a random encounter, email or call. There is someone on the other end reaching out to you in their time of need, sometimes its Hashem reaching out to them and you are just the shliach!


A gut voch!
Yisroel barnath
That's who it happened to

Toby Lieder

I Want A Boy Who Is Learning!

I want a boy who is LEARNING....

Learning from his mistakes....

Learning from the mistakes of others....

Learning how to give without expecting anything in return....

Learning how to forgive others for their shortcomings....

Learning how to find true אמת in a world brimming with שקר....

Learning how to take no for an answer....

Learning how to accept the will of השם when life gets stormy....

Learning how to utilize the tools השם gave him to become a better עבד השם ....

Learning how to find good in the frustrating nuances that happen throughout his day....

Learning how to grow and become A BETTER HIM.

I want a boy who is WORKING....

Working towards a greater goal....

Working on his מדות a little bit more each day....

Working on strengthening his relationships with his rebbeim....

Working on improving his relationships with his family and friends....

Working on deepening his connection to הקב"ה daily....

Working on giving life all he's got....

Working on thanking השם for all the little things in life....

Working on finding השגחת השם in everything that happens to him throughout his day....

Working to overcome his natural negative tendencies....

Working on bringing משיח a little bit closer every day....

Working on growing and becoming A BETTER HIM.

THIS is the person I want to marry.

Just learning? Only working?! Forget that idea! I want BOTH.

Technology Is Killing Our Kids!

By 

NAOMI SCHAEFER RILEY

Jan. 1, 2016 4:24 p.m. 

Prescott, Ariz.

In the far corner of the desolate looking yard outside Mountain Oak Charter School, a boy of 9 or 10 is digging a hole. A few other children are standing nearby, periodically checking his progress and taking a turn with the shovel.

Mountain Oak is a charter school that offers an education inspired by Waldorf, a progressive model that encourages exploration of the natural world and rejects the use of technology in the classroom and even in the home. When I ask later in the afternoon about the ditch digging, eighth-grade teacher Jeffrey Holmes smiles. “Oh, they’re playing Minecraft,” he says, referring to the popular online game. Last year “they had a whole system of ditches and they were bartering with rocks too.”

Waldorf private schools have been around for almost 100 years—the first was launched by educator Rudolf Steiner in Germany. But they have been experiencing a resurgence in the U.S., where Waldorf has become popular with wealthy parents, including Silicon Valley types, who are attracted by the more simplified approach to learning. 

In addition to eschewing technology, the schools tend to delay formal reading instruction—say, until the age of 7—and testing, and to reserve kindergarten entirely for imaginative play, especially with blocks and natural materials such as leaves and other things found outdoors. Students at all levels receive extensive instruction in music and art. They also do physical exercises in the classroom to break up their lessons.

But this model is no longer limited to private education. In recent years Waldorf-inspired charter schools have begun popping up—there are almost 50—especially in the West. Mountain Oak is one of the older ones, launched in 1999. It serves about 150 students in grades pre-K through 8, about half of whom receive a free or reduced-price lunch. 

Mountain Oak students perform at the state average on tests, but the school has been given an A grade by Arizona’s state education department because of the academic improvement its students experience compared with their peers with similar backgrounds at public schools. Unlike parents at the private Waldorf schools, though, many Mountain Oak parents must be persuaded by teachers that the elimination of tablets, smartphones and even television at home is an important part of this success. 

Sunshine Reilly, who lives on a farm near Mountain Oak and has a son in sixth grade there, recalls putting him in front of the television for hours a day when he was a toddler while she did chores. It wasn’t until he started kindergarten that she understood that the screen time was hurting his ability to entertain himself, to enjoy books and even to like playing outside. 

Teachers at Mountain Oak say they can walk into a classroom and immediately tell who has been using devices at home. “We see it in their behavioral problems, their ability to reason, their cognitive skills, even their ability to communicate with other people,” one teacher tells me.

Jennifer McMillan, who teaches kindergarten, says she has to “have the conversation in a gentle way.” Many of these parents simply don’t understand the effects that staring at a screen can have on children’s behavior and their ability to learn.

Why would they? Most schools that cater to low-income children are trying to get them more technology, not less. Los Angeles spent $1.3 billion in 2013 to put an iPad in the hands of every child in the district. Schools show parents these shiny new toys as evidence that they are giving their children a leg up, helping to bridge the so-called digital divide. 

While there’s evidence to suggest that poor children are slightly less likely to have access to laptops and tablets, those without are a pretty small slice of the population. According to a Pew report this year, “Fully 87% of American teens ages 13 to 17 have or have access to a desktop or laptop computer.” 

For families earning less than $50,000 a year that number is 80%. As for a racial divide, Pew found that African-American teenagers are more likely to own a smartphone than any other group of teens in America. 

What no one tells low-income families is this: The real digital divide is between parents who realize the harmful effects of technology on their children and try to limit them, and those who don’t. It’s the difference between parents buying wooden blocks this Christmas and those racking up more credit-card debt to buy a Leap Pad. 

Research backs this up: In December the Journal of the American Medical Association, JAMA, published a studyshowing that electronic toys hinder verbal development. An article in the journal Mind, Brain and Education found that traditional toys “sparked higher quality conversations.” 

The teachers at Mountain Oak say they have the toughest time trying to reduce media use among children in single-parent households. Typically these mothers tend to be younger and less educated, and it is very tempting after a long day at work to come home and turn on a screen to keep a child occupied. The teachers keep prodding anyway.

Felicia Fishback, who is recently divorced, has never liked videogames, but once she started sending her four children to Mountain Oak, she realized that these were making her oldest son’s behavior worse and hindering his academic performance. He had been diagnosed with ADHD and was gaining weight from a lack of physical activity. 

Now her children are not allowed any screen time during the week and a little on weekends. “Mountain Oak,” she says, “has made me a better parent.”

Ms. Riley is the author of “Got Religion: How Churches, Mosques and Synagogues Can Bring Young People Back” (Templeton Press, 2014).

This Is Love

The elderly man in his eighties, hurried to his doctor appointment at 8am. He wanted to finish quickly because he must be somewhere by nine. The doctor asked what the next appointment was. He proudly said that at 9am every morning he is at the hospital to eat breakfast with his wife. The doctor asked in what condition his wife was in. The man said that his wife had Alzheimers disease, and for the past 5 years she hasn't known who he is. The doctor was surprised and asked the man why he continues to go faithfully if she has no idea who he is....the old man replied, " because I still know who she is. "

<3 this my friends, is real love..... <3

★¨`*•♫.•Pass it on!! Give someone else a reason to smile. ♫ ..•* ★

When And Then

WHEN AND THEN

By unknown author 

When I lose twenty pounds, then I’ll be happy.   When I firm my up my abs, then I’ll plan that beach vacation When the holidays are over, then I’ll go back to the gym.   When I can get back to my goal weight, then I’ll get involved in that group.   Do you ever have thoughts like these? I sure do. Sometimes it feels overwhelming—the list of things I could or should do for my body to make my life “better” never ends. . . I should eat kale, not leftover candy.  I could exercise more.  I should switch to all organic cosmetic products . . .  The list is never satisfied.  So, I retreat to a world all my own. It’s a magical place that only exists in my head. I call it When-Then Land. Oh so much better than a Disney Park, When-Then Land is where my dreams come true. Within its borders, I’m a “better” version of myself—which somehow makes everything else in life instantly better, too. Plus, this idyllic future’s existence only depends on one person: Me. When I can just accomplish this thing, then my life will improve. Of course, this thinking doesn’t restrict itself to my body image. Other life issues can send me to When-Then Land too. For example: When my kids can potty themselves, then life will be easier.  When I get a new job, then I’ll feel better about myself. When I can be a better wife, then I’ll have a great marriage. There’s nothing wrong with having goals, right? Yet, while When-Then Land appears to be a safe place, it’s filled with robbers—vandals that steal without us even realizing it.  Allow me to explain. I stopped by When-Then Land earlier today. It was such a quick trip; I didn’t even have to pack snacks. The journey proceeded as follows: Thought: It’s time for us to get a new family photo taken. Second thought: “When I can lose a few pounds, then I will schedule the pictures.” Express train to When-Then Land now arriving on platform three.  Should I choose to stay in When-Then Land, I’ll never schedule those family pictures. The resident thieves convince me that I’ll look better in the future—I’ll be happier then and like the pictures more. In doing so, they rob me of the chance to capture the memory of the way my family looks now, today. And that’s the biggest downside to living in When-Then Land. We miss out on the Here-Now. Our mental visits to When-Then Land keep us from living life to the full. In fact, the very existence of When-Then Landmakes enjoying the Here-Now even more difficult because of the pressure we put ourselves under to accomplish the goals that will take us to this ideal place. The burden of this is too big to carry. Trying to lose that weight, tone that body, be our “best” or just be “good enough” every day in a vain attempt to make the future “better” rates as difficult as carrying an overstuffed diaper bag while running a marathon.  So how do we escape the temptation to dwell in When-Then Land?  How do we take the pressure off and dwell in the Here-Now? Here are two places to start.   • We often live in When-Then Land because we believe a lie. That is: life would be better, happier, more joyful, easier, or freer if we had that thing we want–be it a better body, a better hmarriage, or even more self-sufficient. The expectation that we’ll love our lives When-Then we reach those goals is looking for true salvation in a place we’ll never find it.   • Be Thankful. Try to savor the Here-Now.The easiest way to do that is through practicing gratefulness. No, not every day here on earth will be awesome. Struggle and pain are real. But, having an attitude of thankfulness can change our perspective on the Here-Now and keep us from mentally drifting into believing a future here on earth will be anyway more magical.  Write down what you are thankful for. Practice thanking Hashem for His great blessings when you pray. If you still feel yourself constantly drifting into that fantasyland, watch your media consumption—watching or reading a lot of fantasy or low-quality fiction can keep us trapped in When-Then Land, too.

So Well Said..... I Want A Boy Who Is Learning...(author unknown)

Subject: I want a boy who is LEARNING..........

I want a boy who is LEARNING....

Learning from his mistakes....

Learning from the mistakes of others....

Learning how to give without expecting anything in return....

Learning how to forgive others for their shortcomings....

Learning how to find true emes in a world brimming with sheker....

Learning how to take no for an answer....

Learning how to accept the will of Hashem when life gets stormy....

Learning how to utilize the tools Hashem gave him to become a better eved Hashem....

Learning how to find good in the frustrating nuances that happen throughout his day....

Learning how to grow and become A BETTER HIM.

I want a boy who is WORKING....

Working towards a greater goal....

Working on his middos a little bit more each day....

Working on strengthening his relationships with his rebbeim....

Working on improving his relationships with his family and friends....

Working on deepening his connection to Hakadosh Baruch Hu daily....

Working on giving life all he's got....

Working on thanking Hashem for all the little things in life....

Working on finding hashgachat Hashem in everything that happens to him throughout his day....

Working to overcome his natural negative tendencies....

Working on bringing Mashiach a little bit closer every day....

Working on growing and becoming A BETTER HIM.THIS is the person I want to marry.

Just learning? Only working?! Forget that idea! I want BOTH.

The Nobel Prize. Its Origin And Profound Lesson!

The Nobel Prize came to be by chance – a twist of fate. 

When Alfred Nobel's brother died, a newspaper mistakenly ran an obituary of Alfred himself, believing it was he who had died. Nobel was given a rare opportunity: to read his own obituary while alive. What he read horrified him. The newspaper described him as a man who had made it possible to kill more people more quickly than anyone else in history.

Upon reading it, Alfred Nobel realized two things, that this was how he was to be remembered, and that this was not how he wanted to be remembered. Shortly thereafter, he established the Nobel awards. 

All too often we spend our time “sweating the small stuff,” and neglecting the things that really matter: the good we do, the love we give, the mitzvot we perform, the difference we make to other people’s lives. None of us knows how long we will live. Life is too short to waste. Every day is a gift from G-d and we should use it to the fullest: to celebrate life and be a blessing to others.

What do you want to be remembered for?

Chayenu Miracle!

 I would like to share an inspiring story which happened this week @Chayenu, along the lines of large donations coming from unexpected sources, way more than the Keli we make and also powerful on other levels:
Yossi Pels, the Exec. Director got an email a few weeks ago saying something like "Please unsubscribe me. I love Chayenu, its a wonderful publication but I simply don't have the time for it...".

Wisely, rather than just follow their instructions he countered.
But not before researching who this past-subscriber was, googling them etc.
Turns out to be a wealthy family.
So he writes back: it seems that while you may not have the time, you do have the resources. Well, we have many Jewish inmates who have plenty time to study Chayenu but no resources. So he suggested a trade. Or partnership.
They were inspired by the approach he took and expressed interest. He told them we have 190 inmates yet to be sponsored.
They pledged to send a check.
This past Sunday, a check arrived, covering the Chayenu subscription costs of ALL 190 JEWISH INMATES!!
Approximately $18K !

All this, from an "unsubscribe " email turned into a major donor
😃
Definitely miraculous and Rebbe koichois, but also a lesson in how to turn a No into a Big Yes.Love such stories!!

I Talked ToG-d Story Of A Mom Of 17

❤ Wow What A Story!❤
I talked to God; I said I didn’t know who my mother and father were, but that now the Holy One would have to be both my mother and my father."
Tikkun, the Hebrew word for repair, is often used in the expression tikkun olam, the value of repairing the world. But tikkun can be intensely personal, and become the framework of a meaningful life.Rarely have I seen this displayed so clearly as in the story of Jerusalemite Ruth Zvi.



She’s the mother of 17 children.         That’s right, 17.
She and three sisters were given away by parents who felt they had too many children.

They kept their sons.

I meet Ruth, now 60, at Hadassah University Medical Center, where she’s a volunteer for Ezer Mizion. Ruth is one of those pleasant religious women who pass out sandwiches to the families of hospital patients. What would you like, tuna or cheese? She’s never in a hurry.

Five – or, as she says, “only five” of her children are still living at home. And she does attend all the birthday parties and end-of-year celebrations for her 31 grandchildren thus far, but still has time to schmooze.

We meet at the kiosk where I buy my daily gelato in the hospital mall. Her son Israel (No. 7) co-owns the Aldo concession, and tops my frozen yogurt with a dollop of mint chocolate chip.

“I don’t remember myself before moving to Jerusalem,” reveals Ruth, who has brown embracing eyes and an easy smile.

She would learn later in life that she was born in Tel Aviv’s Hatikva quarter. She ate scraps that fell from the table, a toddler Cinderella. At age three, when she was adopted, she couldn’t yet walk or talk.

Adoption was less regulated back then. A woman, representing an NGO that wanted to rescue underprivileged children, had heard about Ruth’s family. She became the daughter of Rabbi and Rebbetzin C., an older childless couple from Poland who’d lost their large families in the Shoah. They longed for children, and were willing to take this neglected, backwards little girl.

They lived in the Geula neighborhood of Jerusalem. Ruth’s new mother washed, clothed and fed her, and took her to get the required inoculations she hadn’t received as a baby. A middle name was added. She would henceforth be Ruth Miriam, for her adoptive mother’s murdered mom.

“My mother was very strict, what you’d call a ‘Polish mother,’” recalls Ruth. “My father was warmer, although he never once kissed or hugged me. Somehow, he was able to express his parental affection without touching.”

It didn’t occur to Ruth that her father’s never touching her had to do with religious restrictions on adopted children.

She didn’t know she was adopted.

Looking back, there were hints about her being adopted, but she didn’t pursue them. “My upbringing was such that questioning my mother would have been unthinkable.”

Ruth learned to play the accordion, and was often the center of class parties.

Her mother was somber. Ruth was darkskinned, with a Sephardi complexion; her mother was fair-skinned and looked typically Ashkenazi. “When people mentioned it, my mother said I looked like one of her sisters murdered in Poland. That was a conversation-stopper. I suppose all my neighbors and classmates knew I was adopted, but no one said anything.”

Ruth was a teen when her best friend asked if she could tell her a secret. The friend made her promise she wouldn’t be angry. “And then she said it: ‘You’re adopted.’” Ruth informed her friend she had to leave. “She kept apologizing, but I explained that I wasn’t mad, I just needed to be alone.”

Ruth walked and walked, her heart beating fast, her mind unable to fathom her new reality. She found herself at the Western Wall.

“I talked to God; I said I didn’t know who my mother and father were, but that now the Holy One would have to be both my mother and my father. I went home and didn’t say a word to my parents.”

Her mother guessed. “She worried that I wouldn’t mind her anymore. I assured her that nothing had changed.”

When matchmaking began, among the men she met was a light-skinned, Sephardi yeshiva student named Elijah Zvi. “He was very short, but he seemed taller each time I met him. Like all the girls of my religious ilk, I was impressed that he wanted to study Torah. “ At the engagement, the groom’s father asked which ethnic group Ruth really belonged to. Rabbi C. shook his head: “We never speak of it,” he responded, and the subject was closed.

The wedding took place in the Bais Yaakov Teachers’ Seminary where Ruth studied. Their married life began on Malchei Yisrael Street, near Mea She’arim.

Elijah earned a small stipend as a yeshiva student and Ruth taught music in kindergartens.

They soon had four daughters.

One day, an item in a community newspaper mentioning the upcoming nuptials of a couple named Nachum and Tova caught her eye. “I can’t explain it,” she remembers.

“I had a feeling they had something to do with me.”

Elijah knew Nachum and spotted him at prayer services in a neighborhood synagogue.

“A girl was waiting for him outside and she looked a little like you,” he observed. He suggested inviting them to their home. Ruth recognized her strong resemblance to Tova, but didn’t say anything.

Eventually, the two women joyfully acknowledged their sisterhood. Tova’s parents had told her from the beginning that she was adopted. “She’d opened the file and was in touch with our biological parents. She kept urging me to meet them, too.”

Ruth and Elijah finally went to see the man and woman who had given Ruth and her sisters away. “I went for the first and last time,” recounts Ruth. “My biological mother hardly acknowledged me; she was like a fossil. My father tried to pretend he always wanted to get be back. I had four daughters by then and the thought of my parents giving away four daughters was more than I could cope with.”

She was clear on one subject: No matter how many children she and Elijah had, they would bring them up with love.

Ruth gave birth 18 times (one stillborn child) in 24 years.

Her widowed adoptive mother, the sole survivor of her family – who couldn’t have biological children and took a chance on this abandoned, backward child – was always by her side, helping her with the children.

Rebbetzin C. got to help bring up the first 11 children before she died.

“My adoptive parents had their own ideas of child-rearing – today they might not be recommended – but they gave me enormous strength, confidence and self-reliance,” she asserts. “There were plenty of difficult periods, never extra money or enough personal space for the children. But today I have eight sons and nine daughters, and they’re all terrific.

Twelve are married; they’re all educated and hold down good jobs.”

Her son Israel recalls how tough times sometimes were, but that they were never hungry – even if they slept on mattresses in the living room. They’re still close today, often camping out to be together in their parents’ home.

When her youngest child, “the best of all,” started first grade, Ruth went back to work as a house mother in a home for senior citizens. Today, at 60, she enthuses that she’s “at a great stage of life, fully enjoying myself.” She attends a variety of classes at the community center.

Advice for childrearing? “Respect every child. Look beyond what he or she is wearing.

Think of how my parents saved me.

Compliment everything good they do, but don’t let a lie go undetected. I never did homework; that’s the child’s responsibility, not yours.”

Life advice? “Don’t waste energy on over-thinking. Get on with what you want to do, and think of the positive.”

Regrets? “As you might imagine, I didn’t hug and kiss my children enough – but I’m learning to do that with my grandchildren.That’s my personal tikkun... a lot of hugs and kisses

Winning Essay Of Applied Chassidus So Inspiring!

An Awesome Essay Must Read!!!
Author Was The Winner Of
"Applied Chassidus Essay"

🌺 Pain and Suffering 🌺

by Mirel Deitsch

Can you go on with your life when hit over the head with tragedy? Can a mother who lost her child go on to be a functional human being? Can a man whose entire business is lost leaving him penniless still function as the leader of his family? Can a girl who lost her father as a mere thirteen-year-old go on to build her own family and be a positive person?

I grew up in a family where Chassidus is like a drug. The same way a father might suggest that his child take anti-depressants when necessary, my father would suggest to us, “Go learn chapter 22 of Tanya” or “Let’s review what Lihaskilcha Bina1 teaches us.” This is what got us through the tragedies that our family was hit with, not only to places where we can function normally, but to the point where we are happy people ourselves and we are able to bring happiness to others. What exactly does this “drug” do? Chassidus brings a whole new perspective to what pain and suffering really is and teaches us how a person can not only survive a tragedy, but thrive after it. Chassidus teaches that G-d is good and therefore everything that He does is good.

The Process

Step 1: Grieve the Tragedy

One year ago, on Ten Adar II, Rashi Minkowicz, a thirty seven year-old Chabad emissary, passed away suddenly leaving behind her beautiful family and many friends. Since I attended a Chabad high school, my entire school was reeling from shock. Some of us had been counselors in her daycamp. Both her mother and father were teachers in our school. After returning from her funeral, Rabbi Yosef Y. Jacobson came to talk to us and bring some order to all of us hysterical girls. He told a story of a wealthy Rabbi whose entire fortune lay in his fleet of ships. The Rabbi’s fleet of ships had been destroyed in a storm. Of course, no one wanted to be the one to break the news to the Rabbi. One of the Rabbi’s top students asked the Rabbi, “Is it true what you taught us, ‘Just as one recites a blessing for his good fortune, so must he also recite a blessing for his misfortune’?” The Rabbi said, “Yes, of course!” The student then asked, “Does this mean that the person must even dance after hearing about his misfortune?” The Rabbi replied, “Yes, of course.” “What if you found out that your fleet of ships had been destroyed? Would you rejoice and dance?” asked the student. “Yes, yes,” answered the Rabbi. “Well, start dancing…” said the student. To this the Rabbi fainted. When he came to, he said, “Suddenly I don’t understand the teaching that I taught you.”

Although the tragedies that happen to us are indeed blessings in disguise, as will be dicussed in Step 2, this concept is too difficult to internalize immediately. So first we grieve. The Torah understands that we are human and therefore set up a mourning process after death strikes. This is the first step. To grieve.


Step 2- Recognize the Source of the Tragedy

Chapter 26 of Tanya, the basis for Chassidus, explains this concept thoroughly: Our sages have advised: “Just as one recites a blessing for his good fortune, so must he also recite a blessing for his misfortune2.” Why? For it, too, is for the good, except that it is not apparent to mortal eyes, for it stems from the “hidden (spiritual) world,” which is higher than the “revealed (spiritual) world.”3 “Misfortunes” are actually blessings in disguise! They represent an even higher level of good than the revealed good, since they originate in a higher world.

"GPS for the Soul" by Rabbi Nadav Cohen gives some insight as to how this concept can possiby make any sense, "When a sick child is given bitter medicine, he cries, certain that his parents hate him… The deepest bond and the strongest, most powerful love is revealed specifically when the parents are causing their child discomfort in order to heal him…" We are limited human beings and therefore like a child we cannot see how our pain and suffering is for our good, but it is, for our Father in Heaven would never cause us needless pain.

If a person truly absorbs the above, he can be freed of all kinds of suffering. Depression, anxiety, worry, and stress can all be drowned out with feelings of trust in G-d, a good G-d who is entrusting him with a challenge that only seems bad to our mortal eyes and is in truth a path to come closer to G-d.

Mrs. Devorie Kreiman lost four children to a genetic disorder and then a fifth in an accident. In a talk about recovering from loss she said, “When I flew to New York for my daughter’s wedding, I was about to get into the taxi when I noticed that my little blue suitcase, which was supposed to contain lots of things for the wedding, looked a little different. My heart dropped, I opened it up, and there lay a bunch of college papers. I found an identification and switched the suitcases thank G-d. When you come off the plane and you’re looking at the carousal, do you think to yourself, ‘Oh, that designer suitcase looks nice… maybe I should take that one’? No! You want your old, torn-up suitcase because that’s the suitcase that has the clothes that fit you and the things needed for whatever you came on your trip to accomplish. The same thing is with the life you were given. G-d gives us lots of baggage, a life filled with tragedies and happy things, too. Everything happens for a purpose. The purpose is to live a meaningful life. To take everything in your suitcase and use it as a way to become closer to G-d.”4

This is the second step. After grieving, it’s time to discover where our troubles are coming from. To understand the basic concept of Divine providence, that anything happening in our lives, whether good or bad, is not just by chance, but rather G-d's plans. Our lives are perfectly packed "suitcases" that G-d Himself packed. Since G-d is the One who created us, surely He knows what our strengths and weaknesses are and wouldn't throw in anything He saw we couldn't handle. And then to come to a further understanding that G-d is good and the only reason something may seem bad is because it’s coming from “the hidden (spiritual) world,” where G-d’s light is in fact even greater than the light in the “revealed (spiritual) world,” it is just concealed to our mortal eyes. This means that not only are our misfortunes not random, but rather Divine providence, but they are in fact good! This second level of understanding is, of course, a lot harder to really internalize.


Step 3: Move On. Use the Tragedy as a Reason to Come Closer to G-d and Be a Better Person

Being that this misfortune is in fact from G-d’s greatest light, it can be used as a tool to come closer to G-d. Mrs. Kreiman told about a film she watched of an old Jew who returns to his broken home and starts to rebuild from the rubble, “As he’s rebuilding a stick is thrown at him. He takes the stick and uses it to build his home. Then a brick is thrown at him, and it hits him hard, but he uses it to help him rebuild his home.” We must use the stones that G-d throws at us as a way to rebuild. When the Jews were leaving Egypt, they came to the Yam Suf and the Egyptians were coming behind them. Some of them wanted to fight the Egyptians, some wished to commit suicide, some began to pray, and others were ready to surrender. G-d was not happy with any of these solutions and commanded, "Forge forward!" and they did and the sea split for them5. If only we can keep trucking after a tragedy, G-d will make great miracles for us.

Mrs. Lynda Fishman, a woman whose mother and two sisters were killed in an airplane accident when she was thirteen years old, said, “When a person gets lost on the road, will he stop and think about how and why he got lost? He’ll recalculate his G.P.S. and move on… Focus on the future… Move on… Dedicate your life to helping others… Not only will this distract you from the misery of your tragedy but it will make you happy because being fulfilled brings happiness… Focus on the revealed good in your life… Count your blessings.6”

Mrs. Fishman’s words are wise but it is important to focus this growth to spiritual growth. We now know that tragedies and misfortunes are really coming from G-d’s utmost goodness, therefore the tragedies we are faced with should be used to come closer to G-d. To do more Torah and mitzvos and strengthen our connection to our Father in Heaven.

Conclusion
When hit with misfortune: grieve it, remember where it came from- that in fact it is good because it is from the “hidden (spiritual) world,” and use it to move on and be a better, more spiritual person than before.



Disclaimer

This is only when it comes to one's own personal tragedy. When the person next to us is going through pain we have no right to start thinking “It’s G-d! G-d did this to him. In truth it’s good!” As the Baal Shem Tov said, “Everything comes from G-d. Even atheism comes from G-d! When should we be atheists? When another person is in pain.” When another person is in pain, we may not make calculations as to whether he should truly rejoice in his misfortune for it may in fact be a blessing in disguise… we have to remove G-d from the picture, and help him out in any way we can.7



My Inspiration

There are three things that must affect a person: money, alcohol, and Chassidus. If a person has money and doesn’t become crazy from it, give him a little more money and he’ll surely become crazy. If a person drinks alcohol and doesn’t become drunk, give him a little more alcohol and he’ll surely become drunk. If a person learns Chassidus and doesn’t become a happier, more refined person, give him some more Chassidus and he’ll surely be affected. Thank G-d I was given a father who learnt Chassidus, and learnt enough that it actually affected him and helped him deal with his losses. G-d gave my father a suitcase packed with many losses, starting with his father’s passing when he was fourteen years old, followed by the loss of four siblings. My father, to me, is living proof of what it means to take everything in this essay and make it real, to use Chassidus as a tool to be a happy person and make those around us happy too, despite tragedy. My inspiration for this essay is my father.





Read more MyLife Essays

Footnotes and Sources:
1. Chapter 11 of Igeres Hakodesh, Tanya
2. Yoma 23a
3. This has to do with the source of the worlds. The “hidden world” stems from the letters vav and hei of G-d’s name yud-hei-vav-hei, while the “revealed world” stems from the letters yud and hei.
4. TORAHCafe: Taking On The Impossible   By: Mrs. Devorie Kreiman
5. Torahs Menachem Chelek Lamed Gimmel, Yud Shvat

6.TORAHCafe: Surviving and Thriving After Tragedy   By: Mrs. Linda Fishman
7. TORAHCafe: Why Me G-d? Where Is G-d When it Hurts?   By: Rabbi Yosef Y. Jacobson

What I want My Daughters To Know

What I want My Daughters To Know
Author unknown

1.  Lady-like behavior is not weakness.  It’s being gracious, kind, and hospitable.  It’s having enough respect for yourself and consideration for others to dress modestly, speak kind words, and maintain self-control even when you’re angry.  It’s difficult to be lady-like in today’s culture.  But, it’s worth it.
2.  Being a mother is an incredibly beautiful experience.
3.  You should never date a man that you already know you shouldn’t marry.  Every marriage began with a first date.  If you know he is bad news, if you know you are incompatible, don’t go out on a date with him.  Once you fall in love it’s hard to see clearly where your mistakes are being made.
4.  Make it your goal to be healthy, not thin.  There is more to life than dress size.
5.  Don’t look to a man or me or any other human to give you a sense of worth.  You are already worth more than all the fortunes of the world because Hashem made you and He loves you.  If you depend on people to make you feel like you matter, you will be disappointed.  But, Hashem never disappoints.
6.  Life is too short to wear shoes that hurt your feet.
7.  There will be things about your body that you will dislike for your entire life.  Try not to obsess over them.  Just remember that everyone else is too worried about their own bodies to think much about yours.
8.  If you marry a dreamer, don’t kill his enthusiasm with negativity.  Support his crazy ideas and love him through his successes and failures.  Be his biggest cheerleader.
9.  Setting conditions on your happiness will never lead to a happy life.  Instead of thinking, “I’ll be happy once I get this or that,” determine to be happy where you are, as much as you can.  It doesn’t matter what you drive or what kind of house you live in.
10. Crying is not the most effective way to get your point across, but if you are naturally a crier, embrace it.  Let the tears flow, and don’t worry about what people think.  All of the criers I’ve ever known endeared themselves to me immediately.  (And, you come from a long line of criers.)
11. Try new things as often as possible, even if you’re scared.  And especially if you can prove to someone that you’re not scared.
12. Women age faster than men do, especially if we birth and raise children. Men look distinguished as they age.  Try not to let it bother you.  The bright side is that we live longer.
13. Try to be sympathetic to the plight of men.  If you marry a good one, he will work hard his whole life to take care of you.  He will walk through the house at night, making sure that everyone is safe.  Yes, even in this age of women who claim they don’t need to be looked after, he will feel responsible for keeping you and your children alive and happy.  This is a heavy burden to bear, and one that women overlook too often.
14. Obsessing over housework is not only unpleasant for your family, but it makes others afraid to invite you over.  Find a happy medium, and keep a neat house without letting it rule your lives.
15.  It isn’t true that you don’t need friends once you are married.  Keep close friendships with other women throughout all of the phases of your life.
16.  It’s easy to get a martyr complex when you’re a mother.  Don’t do it.  Everyone you know is working hard and doing things that they don’t want to do on a regular basis. It’s part of being a grown up human.
18. Don’t be afraid to love people.  Women naturally feel things deeply, but too much fear of being hurt will keep us from giving ourselves away for the people we care about.  You may get hurt.  Love anyway.
19. Try to find the delicate balance between humility and confidence.  Humility comes from knowing your own tendencies to sin; confidence comes from trusting that Hashem can do great things through you.  Women have a special gift for striking this balance.
20. Hashem made you who you are for a purpose.  He will use your unique gifts.  Be grateful, love Him well, and trust Him to make you a woman with a heart like His.

The Blessing Of Self Sacrifice What A Mindblowing Story!

The Blessing of Self-Sacrifice

When a person is willing to sacrifice of himself to help others, it brings blessing and salvation. The following story, which took place about five years ago, was told by Rav Chaim Zayad from Yeshivat Nachalat Shelomo in Bnei Brak and was printed in a magazine called Sha'ah Tova.

One of the Rabbi's students, whose name is Uriel, was diagnosed at the age of 22 with a brain tumor,לא עלינו. Uriel was sent to France for treatment, but the doctors there were unable to control the disease. They told the family that there is nothing left to do.

Nevertheless, the family did not give up. They consulted with many people and eventually got in touch with a bikur cholim society in a major city in the United States. They were given the name of a "Professor Rich" who was swiftly gaining a reputation for a unique treatment that offered hope to patients who other experts had already given up on.

The treatment involved an operation, and his fee was a staggering $130,000. The family had no way of coming up with that kind of money. Also, it was determined that the patient was too weak to travel; that meant that Professor Rich would have to be flown in, housed, and provided with a rented operating room in a private hospital. All this added another $30,000 to the bill. They turned to several charity funds, but none could commit to such large sums. They inquired about private donors, but couldn't find any. There was no sign of help from any angle. They felt helpless as they watched Uriel's condition worsening.

Rabbi Zayad, who was heavily involved from the beginning, said that shortly thereafter, he received a phone call from a woman, Michal Abitbol, who introduced herself as Uriel's sister. She said, "Tell the doctor we're going through with the surgery. We decided to sell our apartment." Her husband was a Rabbi who didn't have a high income, and they had six children. Rabbi Zayad urged her to think this over, but she was adamant, saying, "We have to do our part and Hashem will help with the rest." She immediately put her apartment in Ramat Beit Shemesh on the market. She asked for a discounted price of $130,000, on condition that full payment was made upfront. A buyer quickly materialized, eager to snatch up this bargain, and the deal was finalized. The doctor was contacted and the surgery was scheduled.

Meanwhile, Rabbi Zayad went into action to raise the remaining $30,000. He turned to all of his former students and asked each one to pledge 1000 shekel. A couple of days later, a few of the students hired a driver to take them around to collect that money. That afternoon, Yehuda, one of the students, called the Rabbi and said that the driver is asking them to deliver a suitcase to a certain address; should they do it? The Rabbi was concerned that something illegal was going on. He told them to refuse. A few minutes later, Yehuda called back to say that the driver was pleading with them. The Rabbi said, "Tell him to stop by the yeshiva and I'll speak with him directly."

When they arrived, the driver explained that earlier that morning, he picked up a very distinguished looking man from the airport and drove him to his hotel. After he dropped him off, he discovered that the man had left a small valise behind. By the time he noticed, a few hours had already passed. He opened it up to see what was inside, hoping it would be filled with money, but instead, all he saw were some strange instruments. So much time had already passed that he was embarrassed to go back. That is why he is asking the students to do it.

Rabbi Zayad was intrigued and looked at the name tag on the valise. His face turned white. It belonged to none other than Professor Rich, who was supposed to be arriving that day. They contacted him, and he came down to meet them in his hotel lobby. Professor Rich's mouth dropped when he saw the valise. He had despaired of ever finding it. He said, "This case contains all of my surgical equipment for an operation that I came to perform here. The contents are worth as much as $40,000. But, it's not just the money. These items are irreplaceable. I designed many of them myself after months of research and effort."

The Rabbi then told the doctor, "I want you to realize that something incredible just happened. You are here to operate on one of my students and your equipment was found in a car that was being used by his friends to raise money to pay for it. Surely, you see the Divine Providence. And another thing, you probably don't know that this operation was made possible by my student's sister, who sold her apartment to pay for it. Now, she and her six children have no roof over their heads."

The professor was taken aback by the self-sacrifice of the family. He wasn't a Jew, but he was very touched by Mrs. Abitbol's selfless action. After a moment of silence, the professor said he was going to forgive the payment of $130,000. It was like a dream. That week, the surgery took place at a private hospital in Herzliya and B"H, it was a success.

While Uriel was recuperating, his sister was faced with a dilemma. She had her money back, but it was too late to reclaim her apartment. She and her husband decided, "If we are going to move, let us pursue our dream of living in Jerusalem." They went to see some real estate agents who all told them that they'll never be able to find anything for $130,000. As they were walking through the streets of Jerusalem, they saw a "For Sale" sign and decided to take a chance. It was a five room apartment in excellent condition. They loved the apartment, but when they asked the price, they were disappointed to find out it was $310,000.

The owner asked how much they could pay, and he was agitated when he found out that they had less than half. "Please don't waste my time here," he said.

They started to tell him the story of how they sold their apartment to pay for a surgery, and he stopped them right away. He asked, "Are you Mrs. Abitbol, by any chance?" "Yes," she said. "I can't believe it," the man replied. "I am the driver who found the valise of the doctor. I was so impressed to hear of your self-sacrifice." He told them that he was selling this apartment because he just received an inheritance from his mother, as well as a nice villa in a quiet settlement to which he was moving. With tremendous generosity, he offered to give them their dream apartment for whatever they had.

The Hashgacha of Hashem here was so clear. The Abitbols were willing to sacrifice their house to help someone in need. Not only did Hashem bring the healing, but He worked it out that they got it for free and even gained their dream apartment. Yes, mesirut nefesh (self-sacrifice) brings miracles!!!

A Story Of The Rebbe

I heard the following story,from the Rebbe’s secretary, Rabbi Leibel Groner, sheyichye. He noted that he [who has seen the greatness of the Rebbe thousands of times] was astounded from this story.

It was in the 1960’s, during the Cold War, and a Jewish professor at Harvard University came up with a new insight in Chemistry and received numerous accolades for it. He then received an invitation from a university in Russia to travel with the other professor who worked on this research to present it to the professors and advanced students.

Not knowing what to do, he discussed it with his administration and they thought that some good could come out of such a visit and advised them to accept the invitation, but to keep it extremely low key. There would be no publicity or press releases stating that they were going, and, in fact, they should not even inform the American government. They should fly there, perhaps going through a third country and all will be good. The only ones that would know their true destination would be their families.

On the day before the trip, the Jewish professor received a phone call. The caller introduced himself as a secretary of the Lubavitcher Rebbe and said, “The Rebbe would like to meet with you today.” The professor was preparing to depart the next day and was quite busy so he replied that he appreciated the invitation, but, he was extremely occupied and would be honored to meet the Rebbe in a few weeks, whenever it is convenient for the Rebbe.

The secretary replied, “The Rebbe does not usually call people to speak to them. However, when he does, it is concerning something of utmost importance, either concerning the (Jewish) community at large or the individual himself. Therefore I don’t think it is wise to postpone this meeting.” “Of course,” he continued, “you have to fit it into your tight schedule and the Rebbe is not stating a time. You can come at whatever time is good for you.”

Hearing these words, the professor told the secretary he would come sometime between [specified] hours and he indeed came. Entering the Rebbe’s room, the Rebbe greeted him and said, “Being that you are going to Russia tomorrow, our brethren there are in dire need of tefillin, mezuzos, talleisim, etc. I would be extremely grateful if you would take a box of these items with you.”

The man stood there shocked. He was not a Lubavitcher, nor was he connected to any Lubavitcher. How in the world did the Lubavitcher Rebbe know about this trip and its true destination, when his own children were not given that information? But at the same time, he was afraid of bringing in illegal items, since that could create an extremely precarious situation, so he expressed his hesitancy to the Rebbe.

The Rebbe replied, “I assure you, nothing bad will come to you because of this.” Hearing such a resolute assurance and still astonished by the Rebbe’s knowledge of his trip, the professor agreed.

The Rebbe then informed him the package would be delivered to his house and then concluded, “I am extremely grateful to you for doing me this favor and therefore I will do you a favor in return.”

The person thanked the Rebbe, although he had no idea what favor the Rebbe was planning on doing for him and he had not requested any brocha for anything, and he left.

The next morning, a young man brought over the sealed box and said, “The Rebbe instructed me to tell you that he appreciates the favor you are doing for him and he will do a favor for you.” Perplexed at the meaning of this, but in a rush to leave, the professor said thank you and continued his last minute preparations.

When he arrived in Russia, he saw how the customs agents were so meticulous in searching everyone’s bags. They emptied out entire suitcases and went through each item, sometimes even unfolding shirts and refolding them as they placed them back. His heart was pounding; they would surely find the contraband and he would be in serious trouble.  But as soon as it was his turn to be questioned and searched, there was a switch of the guards and a new shift took over. The new agent took the box, opened it, and then suddenly closed it declaring the box was already searched by the previous agents. The agent then went through the professor’s personal suitcase with a fine tooth comb, examining each and every item.

The man stood there in bewilderment; it was obvious that the Lubavitcher Rebbe was mysteriously connected with this open miracle, but he had no idea how.

The welcome he received from the university was genuine and everyone was appreciative. The professor felt secure that everything was proceeding well. Then, two nights before he was supposed to leave, there was a loud knock on his hotel room door. Three armed men from the notorious KGB entered and declared the professors under arrest for being American spies. Confused by this accusation, the professors showed the officers the invitation from the university, as well as the itinerary detailing all the presentations they had given. However, the agents didn’t listen to a thing, handcuffed them, and brought them to prison for interrogation.

The professors steadfastly refused to admit to the accusation and fiercely demanded their release, saying they were invited here and the university paid for the trip, which had nothing to do with the government. Seeing that they were being ignored, they argued, “If something happens to us, the US government would hold it against you, so it is in Russia’s best interest to leave us alone and allow us to return home.”

The interrogator just smiled and said, “We have ways of arranging accidents on the road and the American officials will find you dead from a car accident and everyone will think that you were driving too fast on unfamiliar roads, or something like that, and that sometimes accidents happen.”

On the third day of their imprisonment, agents came in, blindfolded them and led them to a car. They thought this was the end; that the KGB was actually going to carry out their threat. Sometime later, the car stopped and the blindfolds were removed, and the professors saw that they were at the airport. The guard handed them their suitcase and said, “This time we are letting you spies leave, but if you ever come again, you won’t be so lucky.”

When they arrived in America, they were greeted by officials of the State Department and other agencies for a debriefing to try find out what had happened. The professor asked, “How did you know I was there and arrested?

Of course, we are grateful for your assistance in obtaining our freedom, but no one knew we were there, so how did you know?”

The official replied, “As you now realize, it was foolish of you to go without informing the government. We had no idea whatsoever; however, one day we received an anonymous call saying that two Americans are in a Russian prison. We immediately instructed our Ambassador to meet the appropriate officials in Russia to demand the release of these two Americans. The Russian government denied it;, however, they realized that we were on to something and therefore you were freed. You have to thank your secret benefactor.”

The professor concluded, “I toiled to find out who gave our government the information. Ultimately, I was able to find out that the phone call was traced back to a n office in Brooklyn. Someone in the Rebbe’s office made this phone call.

So, yes, I did him a small favor and did he do me a tremendous favor. Oh, did he repay me!”

You Never Know.........

 Never Judge A Person 

"My boss drove a luxury car everyday"

 My boss drove a luxury car everyday and it was my duty to greet him and to open the gates for him, as I worked as a watchman in his villa. But he never responded back to my greetings.

One day he saw me opening the garbage bags outside the villa in search for any leftover food. But, as usual he never even looked at me, it was like as if he never saw anything!

The very next day I saw a paper bag at the same place, but it was clean and the food inside was covered well. It was fresh and good food like someone had just brought it from the supermarket. I didn't bother as to where it came from, I just took the paper bag and I was so happy about it.

Every day I found this paper bag at the same place with fresh vegetables and all that we needed for home. This became my daily routine. I was eating and sharing this food with my wife and kids. I was wondering who this fool could be?! To forget his paper bag full of fresh food everyday.

One day there was a big problem in the villa and I was told that my boss has died. There were too many guests coming to the villa that day and I didn't get any food that day, so I thought that one of the guests must have taken it. But the same thing happened the 2nd day, the 3rd day and the 4th day.

It went on like this for a few weeks and I found it difficult to provide food for my family, so I decided to ask the wife of my boss for a raise in my salary or else I would quit my job as a watchman.

After I told her, she was shocked, and asked me, how come you never complained about your salary for the last 2 years? And why is this salary not enough for you now? I gave her so many excuses but she was never convinced!

Finally in the end, I decided to tell her the truth, I told her the entire story of the bag of groceries, and as to how it was my daily provision. She then asked me as to when this stopped? I told her after the death of her husband. And then I realized that I stopped seeing the paper bag immediately after the death of my boss. Why didn't I ever think of this before? That it was my boss who was providing this for me? I guess it was because I never thought that a person who never replied to my greetings could ever be this generous!

His wife started to cry and I told her to please stop crying and that I'm really sorry that I asked for a raise, I didn't know that it was your husband who was providing me with the meals, I’ll remain as a watchman and be happy to provide my service.

His wife told me, I'm crying because I've finally found the 7th person my husband was giving this bag full of food. I knew my husband was giving 7 people everyday, I had already found the 6 people, and all these days I was searching for the 7th person. And today I found out.

From that day onwards, I started to receive the bag full of food again, but this time his son was bringing it to my house and giving it to my hand. But whenever I thanked him, he never replied! Just like his dad!

One day, I told him THANK YOU in a very loud voice! He replied back to me to please not be offended when he doesn't reply, because he has a hearing problem, just like his dad!”

Oh! We have been wrong so many times judging others without knowing the true story behind their actions. Be kind and courteous in dealing with others, for everyone is fighting a hard battle. Be careful, not everything is about you. Before you assume, there is this thing called ASKING.

Don’t just jump to conclusion, because that is truly not an exercise, it may cause you more harm at the end of the day. Many of our problems are caused by how we process what happens around us. Don’t judge a situation you have never been in. Be humble enough to learn. You do not know it all. Lets change the way we feel about ourselves and others.

There are two sides to a story. Don’t believe everything you hear.

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.y and it was my duty to greet him and to open the gates for him, as I worked as a watchman in his villa. But he never responded back to my greetings.

One day he saw me opening the garbage bags outside the villa in search for any leftover food. But, as usual he never even looked at me, it was like as if he never saw anything!

The very next day I saw a paper bag at the same place, but it was clean and the food inside was covered well. It was fresh and good food like someone had just brought it from the supermarket. I didn't bother as to where it came from, I just took the paper bag and I was so happy about it.

Every day I found this paper bag at the same place with fresh vegetables and all that we needed for home. This became my daily routine. I was eating and sharing this food with my wife and kids. I was wondering who this fool could be?! To forget his paper bag full of fresh food everyday.

One day there was a big problem in the villa and I was told that my boss has died. There were too many guests coming to the villa that day and I didn't get any food that day, so I thought that one of the guests must have taken it. But the same thing happened the 2nd day, the 3rd day and the 4th day.

It went on like this for a few weeks and I found it difficult to provide food for my family, so I decided to ask the wife of my boss for a raise in my salary or else I would quit my job as a watchman.

After I told her, she was shocked, and asked me, how come you never complained about your salary for the last 2 years? And why is this salary not enough for you now? I gave her so many excuses but she was never convinced!

Finally in the end, I decided to tell her the truth, I told her the entire story of the bag of groceries, and as to how it was my daily provision. She then asked me as to when this stopped? I told her after the death of her husband. And then I realized that I stopped seeing the paper bag immediately after the death of my boss. Why didn't I ever think of this before? That it was my boss who was providing this for me? I guess it was because I never thought that a person who never replied to my greetings could ever be this generous!

His wife started to cry and I told her to please stop crying and that I'm really sorry that I asked for a raise, I didn't know that it was your husband who was providing me with the meals, I’ll remain as a watchman and be happy to provide my service.

His wife told me, I'm crying because I've finally found the 7th person my husband was giving this bag full of food. I knew my husband was giving 7 people everyday, I had already found the 6 people, and all these days I was searching for the 7th person. And today I found out.

From that day onwards, I started to receive the bag full of food again, but this time his son was bringing it to my house and giving it to my hand. But whenever I thanked him, he never replied! Just like his dad!

One day, I told him THANK YOU in a very loud voice! He replied back to me to please not be offended when he doesn't reply, because he has a hearing problem, just like his dad!”

Oh! We have been wrong so many times judging others without knowing the true story behind their actions. Be kind and courteous in dealing with others, for everyone is fighting a hard battle. Be careful, not everything is about you. Before you assume, there is this thing called ASKING.

Don’t just jump to conclusion, because that is truly not an exercise, it may cause you more harm at the end of the day. Many of our problems are caused by how we process what happens around us. Don’t judge a situation you have never been in. Be humble enough to learn. You do not know it all. Lets change the way we feel about ourselves and others.

There are two sides to a story. Don’t believe everything you hear.

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.