Thursday 13 August 2015

You Never Know Article, By Toby

You Never Know,                                                   By Toby Lieder

You never know, when you are making history.
You never know, when the one kind word you said today made a huge difference to a person in pain.

You never know, when someone calls you Thursday night, It may be because they want to get invited for Shabbos.

You never know, when you are making history.

You never know, when a repairperson does work for you, what that cup of water meant to him!

You never know, when your spouse comes home, what your big smile of welcome can do for them!

You never know, when you do a random act of kindness what ripple affect it can have.

You never know what happens when you hand out a random Shabbos t-light, how that story will end (or begin!)

You never know, what your visit to a sick person in hospital can make a huge difference to them.

You never know, The guest that ate at your home one Shabbos will perhaps host your kids in the future, one day!

You never know the impact you have on your kids’ childhood until they have kids of their own

You never know, how much your kids are learning from ‘watching’ you, rather then listening to you.

You never know, how much more effective you are when you whisper instead of shout.

You never know, when you invest just 10 minutes of private time with each child, daily, how it may actually save their life

You never know, If you try to talk to your kids with respect as an adult, you may receive the same respect back.

You never know, if you buy your wife flowers every week, she may surprise you with something special.

You never know, if you give 2 compliments for every criticism said you may have a very happy peaceful home


You never know, If you date your spouse once a week criticism free, you may have invested in the most important deposit ever!

Give It Up!

Give It Up!

Here is a list of things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? 

1. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT
 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. GIVE UP YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL
Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” 

3. GIVE UP ON BLAME
Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. GIVE UP YOUR SELF-DEFEATING SELF-TALK
 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.”

5. GIVE UP YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS
About what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” 

6. GIVE UP COMPLAINING
Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. GIVE UP THE LUXURY OF CRITICISM
Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO IMPRESS OTHERS
Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. GIVE UP YOUR RESISTANCE TO CHANGE
 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change  don’t resist it.

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” 

10. GIVE UP LABELS
 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” 

11. GIVE UP ON YOUR FEARS
Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.

“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” 

12. GIVE UP YOUR EXCUSES
Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. GIVE UP THE PAST
I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. GIVE UP ATTACHMENT
This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS
Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

4 Cookies   Wow Story!

Was paid 50 years ago with a cup of milk and 4 cookies
Professor Arthur Mills a heart specialist who owns a big private hospital in the USA
He is telling the following story
My mother brought me up in Crown Heights in the late 1940’s early 1950’s my father died
I went to the local public school looking clean and neat
Some days I went without breakfast
I was in grade 4 ten years old when all my mother can give me was one sugar cube

I never missed school but that day I just could not go on any more.
Nobody was allowed to know that we were poor.
I was about to start looking in the rubbish bins.
I got an idea to know on a door in one of the big buildings where no one knows who I am. Ask for a piece of bread and go b back to school.

I walked in to a big building and I find two doors the one on the right has a picture of a lapart, which got me scared

I looked on the door on the left and it said Morris Jackson family.
I knocked on the door expecting a middle-aged women opening the door I will ask her for a slice of bread and run back to school.
A girl my age opened the door

I asked her for a glass of water
She smiled and said, “We drink milk, do you mind if I give you milk instead of water?

She came back with a cup of milk in one hand and four cookies in the other
My name is Rosslyn, what is your name she asked?
Instead of answering, I asked her if I could have a second cookie.

Why are you home today I asked her?
I get sick quite often, she said and I can’t go to school
I thanked her without giving her my name

Many years went by

I graduated got married to an hart specialist and I have 3 children and started my own hospital

Every new patient is examined by my team and then they bring me the file to discuss what to do.

In 2003, I get a file with the name Rosalyn Jackson

She was very sick and was in ICU

What your name etc. I asked her

She told me her name and her father’s name and that she came from Crown Heights

She was 60 years old

At time of discharge, they use to bring me the file for the final bill after the insurance paid their part

52,300 Her final bill was $
When the file was broth to me for signing I wrote on it was paid 50 years ago with a cup of milk and four cookies

She lived on for another five years and died in 2008.



Self Worth


Too Busy


Being Strong


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