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Shidduch Interviews Now On Skype

You can now be interviewed on Skype for a Shidduch!

Mrs Toby Lieder will book you an appointment to discuss with you what your 5 majors are and put you into her database and help you find a Shidduch!

For appointment 

Email to; Toby.lieder@gmail.com

Shidduch Checklist! By Toby Lieder

Shidduch Check List

Here is a list of possible choices to look at, in order to help you 'PRIORITIZE' your VALUES. To help you select what YOU personally desire, and hold way up high as a priority, hopefully to be found in your partner so you get the best possible, loving, understanding, warm, and peaceful, relationship! Remember you can’t get 'em all!! Here's the 5 million dollar question: Ask yourself this question after completing your 5 majors list: 

"Am 'I' the kinda person I'd like to meet?"

1. EMOTIONALLY STABLE:  

Are they well balanced? Do they have a lot of emotional luggage? What was their upbringing like? What sort of a mother did they have? What sort of a role model was their father? Was there sholom bayis in their home? Were they brought up very narrow mindedly, or open minded? Are they in touch with their feelings? Can they 'express' themselves, to others? 

2. HONESTY AND SINCERITY:  

Are they sincere? Are they straightforward and honest. Or is there a hidden agenda, and you don't really know their intentions? Are they for REAL? Some people, do things, so others should take notice... others do it, L'SHAIM shomayim!, Lshma.  

3.SHLICHUS:  

Are they interested to go out on shlichus? Do they intend to 100% and see it as their potential future? Or is shlichus a possibility, if they happen to find the right opportunity? How important is going out and dedicating their life, totally to others', say like on shlichus, which involves, a lot of 'self sacrifice'. They may not be home a lot because of the shlichus. Where do they want to see themselves in the future?  

4. SENSE OF HUMOR:  

Are they more serious, or more chilled about life. Some people have a great sense of humor, and can laugh off problems, they tend to see the humor in everything, which gives a 'lift' to the seriousness that life holds for us. Others, take everything so seriously, sometimes too much. Does this person carry a 'healthy' sense of humor? 

5. TEMPERMENT:  

What is this person's temper like? Do they keep it all in? Do they talk things out? Do they have panic attacks? Do they 'blow up' at everything? How easily do they loose their temper? AND WHAT DO THEY DO WHEN THEY 'LOOSE IT'?  Are they able to say " nisht g'ferlach" easily? Or, "it’s all meant to be for the good?" Can you see yourself living with someone that blows their lid quite easily, quite often? Do you mind a screamer?  

6. GROWING:  

Is this person one that enjoys a good book? Do they get excited when they hear a new 'vort'? Do they look at making hachlotos, every now and then, because they are constantly on the 'growth'. They are never satisfied with where they're at, they are eager to 'be more', or get 'better at'...I mean spiritually, as well as emotionally. Are they fixed in their ways, or open to change?  

7. RESPECT:  

Does this person respect everyone equally? Are they continually putting people into 'boxes', or 'labelling' them, discriminating people as a habit? Or are they Melamed Zechus, people, and situations, easily, without jumping to conclusions? You know those kinda people that will shake hands with 'anybody'? Or not discriminate who they bring home for lunch. Do they carry a sense of respect for goyim as well? Like in shops, etc.? Do they respect little kids, or just walk away when a kid is crying?  

8. OPENMINDED:  

Is this person more or less open minded, or stuck in their own ways. I mean really, FLEXIBLE. Are they ableto see another person's point of view? Are they stubborn, to insist on only their point of view? Is this person peace-oriented? Are they able to easily say, "Lets agree to disagree"?  

9. LEARNING:  

Is this person studious? Do they learn for the sake of getting by, or have a true interest in their studies? Do they pick up a book to further their interests in knowledge, or have an interest in local shiurim, or inspiring talks, farbrengens?  

10. STREET SMART:  

Are they equipped with a good sense of 'common sense' (which is not so common!)?  How street smart are they?  

11. POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE MINDED:  

Some people always see the good in every situation. They say "its hashgocha protis", or "big deal", a lot of the time. They are able to let go of things and see the positive in all or most situations. What type is this person?  Do they 'kvetch' all the time? Is everything 'hard' for them to do? Do they take risks? Do they complain about everything and everyone? 

12. CHASSIDISHKIET, YIDDISHKIET:  

What is their 'yiddishkiet' like? How do they behave, inwards and outwards? How does 'chassidishkiet' play a role in their life? What is their connection to the Rebbe? How serious do they follow the Rebbe? How much do they make the Rebbe part of their lives? Do they have Yiras Shomayim?  

13. PERSONALITY:  

Do they have a 'spark', a creative side to their personality? Are they quiet and reserved, too hard to 'get into'? Are they lively and full of life? Are they more serious, but have a tremendous amount of 'toichen'? What type of personality do they have? Are they a more sociable type, or rather stay at home type? Introvert, or extrovert?  

14. CHARACTER:  

Are they kind, by nature? Are they soft and gentle? Are they generous? Are they the type that looks how to help others, or are they more 'self centered'? Are they 'sensitive' to other people’s needs or do they 'pretend' they didn't 'notice' it?  Do they have a generous nature or a more stingy nature?  

15. RESPONSIBLE:  

Can you give them tasks to perform, and know that it'll get done? Are they dependable? Would you entrust this person with major responsibilities? Do they keep to 'seder' well? What successful projects have they done & were responsible for?  

16. ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS:  

Are they 'sloppy'? Are they neat ‘n tidy? Can they set up a home? Run a business? Can they organize events? Are they a leader or a follower? Do they make things happen or watch things happen? Or don’t even know that something happened?  

17. FAMILY ORIENTED:  

Does this person come from a secure, well-balanced, family-oriented, warm environment? Do they love family-stuff? Like, is family important to them? Do they talk much about their family? What is their relationship with their 'mother'? Do they speak highly of her? What about the father? How do they respect him? What size family would they want if given a choice? Large or small? Are they a 'stay at home parent' or more of a “go getter”?  

18. NATURE:  

Are they the relaxed type by nature, or always on the go, type? Can they sit back, relax and spend time with little kids and enjoy their company? Or do they get nervous around kids? Are they a 'good listener'? Are they really listening to you when you talk? Do they have patience to hear you out, or are they too busy, or looking at their watch?  

19. QUALITY:  

Do they go for a higher, good quality life? Or are they very happy living with the bare minimum? How do they dress? Are they 'baalabatish? Or didn’t-look-in-the- mirror type?  

20. CONFIDENCE:  

Do they have a good sense of self-esteem? What is their confidence like? Are they always worried that what they do is not good enough? Do they set goals, and carry them out? Do they believe in themselves, or put themselves down? Are they shy and reserved? Can they talk to anyone about anything?  

21. HEALTH:  

What is their family's state of health? Is there anything we should be aware of? For the sake of all parties involved, is there anything that you heard that would be important for us to know?  

23. PUT- TOGETHER:  

Is this person, a self-disciplined type? Are they put-together, they know where they're going, they don't just go with the flow? Do they carry a good sense of 'purpose' with them each day. Are they the type that would not “waste” a moment? There are others, that take life as it hits them...take it easy type, like, no particular agenda.  

24. MASHPIAH:  

Are they the type that people would look up to for advise? Or do they shy away, from being asked their opinion? Would they 'have' a mashpiah? Or do they have too much of an ego to ask for advice? What position do you see them in?  

25. SPARE TIME, HOBBIES:  

What do they do when they have some

All Marriages Are Made In Heaven.

All Marriages are Made in Heaven

The 5 majors

By, Toby Lieder

Hashem organized your shidduch a long long time ago, before you were even born. So the 'other half' is there! And Hashem has His wondrous ways. But I believe that we have to give a finger in order for Him to give us a hand. We have to do our part. We have to make a vessel, for Hashem's blessings to come alive. We all get there at the end. Everyone has their journey. Thank G-d for yours. So this journey I am taking you on, is just a collection of my personal experiences over the years in my encounters with helping people find their 'basherte'.  

To the young men and women going out on the SHIDDDUCH SCENE, and to all of us parents of these young innocent boys and girls, I suggest the following ideas, as merely suggestions, that can possibly help make the journey a lot more pleasant. Firstly, take the time to think. Think aloud, with a close friend, mashpiah, or parent. Think of ALL the qualities you would love to have in your soul mate. Write them all down. We call this 'brainstorming'. Afterwards, select from the list of 45 qualities, only a few, (say 5 non-negotiable) that are of most importance to YOU. To 'you', as a person, not what's most important for your friends or parents to be proud of, but what "YOU" consider 'most' important. 

Once you have figured out what you feel are the most desired 45 qualities, then ask yourself if you are able to possibly compromise on any of these 45 qualities. You will actually start to eliminate one at a time, as you can see clearly what is possible to let go, and what you absolutely cannot live without. This is simply a guide to enable you to THINK. It is meant for you to think of what qualities may be most important to you. What you value most.

As you read through the suggestions, have in mind the next time you are going out on a date, to look out for YOUR MOST IMPORTANT 5 MAJORS.  

One of the ways, you can 'check' it out, is by talking about those qualities in discussion, through examples or stories, and listen out for the other one's REACTION. Listen out for cues,  are they yawning or turning in different directions, or are they actively involved in your conversation! If something is SO VERY IMPORTANT to you, and as you talk about it, the other one is enthusiastically involved, and even building on the subject, and there are good 'vibes' throughout the conversations, there is a mutual excitement on this subject, then you know you are talking the same language, you are onto something good. But if there is any STATIC whatsoever when you relate what is so important to you, and there is constant interference, like opposing point of views, yawning, or looking at their watch, be careful, that we are now talking about what is dearest to your heart, so it is up to you to decide if you want to live with somebody that has opposing point of views, or is not so interested about those things dearest to you!  

See my point? Dreams can be shattered by misunderstandings, or simple communication breakdown. It is usually EXPECTATIONS, that break up the sholom bayis. He expected this and that, she expected him to be or do, this 'n that. "Did you guys talk about these issues before, or merely 'expected' them to happen?!!!

What Makes Love Last?

Pay Attention To The Small Stuff!

What Makes Love Last?

Well, gather 'round all you romancers because all it takes is a particular show of kindness.

It goes like this. Say you look out your window one evening and see a huge full moon bobbing just above the horizon. Flushed with wonder, you turn to your partner and say "hey sweet cheeks! Isn't the moon beautiful tonight?" This, is a "bid" – a request for a response that will hopefully lead to a small connection between the two of you – an understanding that, on this particular topic, you share the same worldview.

Your partner now has a choice to make – they can look up and say "wow! It is beautiful!" or something similarly agreeable. 

Or, they can keep eye contact with their computer device and mutter "mm hmm", or worse, remain silent. That would be called "turning away". It seems mundane and insignificant, right? I mean, it's just a moon! But according to an article examining the study, the consequences are far-reaching.

"Couples who had divorced after a six-year follow up had "turn-toward bids" 33 per cent of the time. The couples who were still together after six years had "turn-toward bids" 87 per cent of the time."

You don't have to be Dr Phil to understand that when your bids for connection go consistently unmet, you stop trying. "People who give their partner the cold shoulder – deliberately ignoring the partner or responding minimally… not only kill the love in the relationship, but they also kill their partner's ability to fight off viruses and cancers."

Yeah. Death.

The hardest time to turn toward a bid is when you're stressed or fighting. But it's during these times that it's especially important to do exactly that. By extending yourself, you're flexing the muscle of kindness – and kindness is the major predictor of a long-lasting relationship.

But that's not all. The other predictor of a long lasting union? Sharing joy. No, not laughing over a Parks and Recreation marathon or high fiving after a challenging hike, but the joy you share over each other's triumphs. Like a new job. A promotion. A compliment. 50 per cent off that dress. In fact, it's more important to be supportive during the good times than the bad.

But there are other interesting conclusions to take from this. The first is that women are – in the main – often told not to expect too much in these areas from their male partners. A book called The Five Love Languages, written by a conservative Minister and championed by other well-meaning conservatives and marriage prep courses, posits that men often communicate their love in different (non-verbal) ways – they'll mow the lawn, fix your computer, or pay for dinner to express their ardour. As long as you don't take it personally and don't draw them into an intimate conversation, you should be able to enjoy marriage. Because men are inherently bad at listening;  they're not as good as women at multi-tasking. And, look, while focusing on a spouse's intentions goes a long way toward sustaining a relationship, if ordinary kindness – in the form of direct communication – is not built in, those other gestures can fall on fallow ground.

The second conclusion, dear Love Birds, can be extrapolated from the first. Ladies everywhere don't just believe these baseless myths – they actively relate to the idea that the only thing ruining their relationship is asking for too much intimacy from that guy who likes fixing stuff, not talking about it. The message is clear – expect less and do more.

They have found that those small things that, traditionally, girlfriends and wives get upset about, are not a manifestation of pettiness or high maintenance or "nagging". But, rather, a set of mandatory skills required for not just a long-lasting marriage, but for every other relationship, (including friendship and parenthood) to be successful too.

Pay attention to the small stuff!

It's All In Prespective!

A famous writer was in his study. He picked up his pen and began writing:

**  Last year, my gall bladder was removed.  I was stuck in bed due to this surgery for a long time.

**  The same year I reached the age of 60 and had to give up my favorite job. I had spent 30 years of my life with this publishing company.

**  The same year I experienced the death of my father.

**  In the same year my son failed in his medical exam because he had a car accident. He had to stay in the hospital with a cast on his leg for several days.

**  And the destruction of the car was a second loss.

At the end he wrote:  Alas! It was such bad year!!

When the writer's wife entered the room, she found her husband looking sad and lost in his thoughts.  From behind his back she read what was written on his paper.  She left the room silently and came back shortly with another paper on which she had written her summary of the year and placed it beside her husband's writing.

When the writer saw her paper, he read:

**  Last year I finally got rid of my gall bladder which had given me many years of pain.

**  I turned 60 with sound health and retired from my job. Now I can utilize my time to write better and with more focus and peace.

**  The same year my father, at the age of 95 without depending on anyone and without any critical conditions, met his Creator.

**  The same year, God blessed my son with life.  My car was destroyed, but my son was alive and without permanent disability.

At the end she wrote:  This year was an immense blessing and it passed well!!

In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful but gratitude that makes us happy! There is always, always always so much to be grateful for!

Attitude is everything

What A Lesson For Moms!

One day Thomas Edison came home and gave a paper to his mother. He told her, “My teacher gave this paper to me and told me to only give it to my mother.”

His mother’s eyes were tearful as she read the letter out loud to her child: Your son is a genius. This school is too small for him and doesn’t have enough good teachers for training him. Please teach him yourself.

After many, many years, after Edison’s mother died and he was now one of the greatest inventors of the century, one day he was looking through old family things. Suddenly he saw a folded paper in the corner of a drawer in a desk. He took it and opened it up.

On the paper was written: Your son is addled [mentally ill]. We won’t let him come to school any more.

Edison cried for hours and then he wrote in his diary: “Thomas Alva Edison was an addled child that, by a hero mother, became the genius of the century.”

Never Give up. Be confident. Remember –  (be it life, sports, career, health, family, or any competition) – any battle is won twice – FIRST IN YOUR HEAD!!

This Is True Love!

Nurse: "It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman, in his 80's, presented to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I (nurse) took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation.

I asked him if he had a doctor's appointment this morning somewhere else, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease. As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, "And you are still going every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back my tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will always be. No matter what the situation is, true love remains.

So Much To Learn From This Old Lady!

The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and  lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. “I love it,” she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. “Mrs. Jones, you haven’t seen the room …. just wait.” “That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied. “Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged, it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away, just for this time in my life.” She went on to explain, “Old age is like a bank account, you withdraw from what you’ve put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing.” And with a smile, she said: “Remember the five simple rules to be happy: 1. Free your heart from hatred. 2. Free your mind from worries. 3. Live simply. 4. Give more. 5. Expect lessn So Much From This Old Lady!

Most Significant Parenting Tips

What parenting habits are the most significant to kids?

1. The times you made them feel safe (or the times you made them feel unsafe)

There’s a vulnerability and a need for protection in the heart of every child. Your kids will remember those moments you chased the monsters from under their bed or held them after a nightmare, but they’ll also remember the times when your temper became the monster they feared. Our kids are probably going to see us angry sometimes, because that’s part of life, but make it your mission to make your children feel safe and secure at all times when they’re with you.

2. The times you gave them your undivided attention

Kids measure love primarily by our attentiveness to them. The times you stop what you’re doing to have a tea party or go outside to throw a ball or jump on a trampoline with be memories etched into their minds and hearts forever. Take the time to do the little things with your kids, because in the end, they’ll be the moments that matter most.

3. The way you interacted with your spouse

Our kids are forming their views of love in large part by watching how we treat our husband or wife. Strive to have the kind of marriage that makes them excited to get married someday. Give them the security that comes from seeing their Mom and Dad in a committed, loving relationship with each other.

4. Your words of affirmation and your words of criticism

A child’s heart is like wet cement and the impression made early in life will harden over time. They’ll base their sense of identity, capability and even self-worth largely upon the words you speak to them in those formative years. Part of our job as parents is to correct and discipline, but even in correction, let your words be full of love, encouragement and positive reinforcement.

5. Your family traditions

Kids love spontaneity, but they also have deep need for predictability. They’ll remember with great fondness the “traditions” you establish whether it’s a weekly family movie (or game) night, a place you regularly travel for family getaways, the way you celebrate birthdays and special events or any other special tradition. Be intentional about creating some traditions that they’ll want to pass onto their own children someday.

Just Do It!!

Just do it!! Article on YOU

Close your eyes, and imagine this for a moment.

You are 86 years old on your porch on a rocking chair on a warm sunny morning, looking back on your life.

Now let me tell you, studies show that the biggest regret from elderly people on their deathbed is not what they did, but it's what they 'didn't' do. 

The risks they 'never' took. The time they never spent enough, with loved ones, etc.

How sad would it be to get to the end of your life and realized you never truely lived.

This is 'your' life, nobody else's.

No matter how much your society, your parents, your friends want you to live, or the way they want you to live.. YOU RUN THE SHOW. You and only you are in charge!

When you shut your eyes and go to sleep at night, the entire world ceases to exist, and when you wake up it's born again. Just for you. As it says; Bshvil  Lee Nivra Haolam! The day is 'yours'! The world is at your feet. Hashem created you and only one version of You.

This is your life, you're in control, you  do what feels right in 'your' heart.

Now go back to the rocking chair and think what would your future say about the ideas you never created, the books you never wrote, the words you never spoke, the friends you never made, the people you were hesitant about introducing yiddishkiet to them, the time you could've spent with your loved ones instead of your cell phone!

But I get it, you want it easy.

But if greatness was easy you would see a lot of successful people and lot of great people.

Astronauts, professional athletes or superheroes, but you dont.

You'll see a lot of people with big mouths  making excuses on facebook, trying to get likes but they dont even like themselves.

See, the difference between winners and losers is persistence. Winners don't talk too much, they are action oriented!

My teacher told me about the bamboo tree.

After planting the seed it takes five years for it to break through the ground.

That's five whole years of attention, care and water everyday.

If you miss a day it dies right there, but once it breaks through the ground, after those five years, within five weeks it grows 90ft. tall

So your journey isn't gonna be easy, it's gonna take time.

And when you have a dream, people are gonna laugh because they won't see what 'you' see.

They'll say what is that idiot doing watering  the ground?

They aren't capable of seeing the plant that's planted inside of you, they have sight but no vision, only 'you'

have the vision.

So let them laugh, they will say be real, be realistic, but realism is often an excuse for pessimisms and you can't let other people's opinion define your reality.

So let them laugh.

But I guarantee, you won't find one successfull person in history that people didn't laugh at.

Stop worrying about your reputation, because your reputation let's people think about you, your characters who you are.

Make the commitment whole heartedly. Stop thinking, and JUST DO IT.

Do it for you, the real 'you', because ultimately YOU deserve it!

You don't get to do-over your life.

So Live your DREAMS.

You don't have to  be great to get started but you have to get started to be great.

Toby Lieder

Check out my Blog!

momof14.blogspot.com

Wow Story That Will Blow You Away!!

 Fascinating story that will make you see the hand of Hashem so clearly!!! 

(Print /read. and share this at your shabbos table!)

BEAUTIFUL and TRUE STORY!

When a train filled with a large transport of Jewish prisoners arrived at one of the Nazi killing centers, many Polish gentiles came out to watch the latest group as they were taken away. As the disoriented Jews were gathering their possessions to take with them into the camp, a Nazi officer in charge called out to the villagers standing nearby, "Anything these Jews leave behind you may take for yourselves, because for sure they will not be coming back to collect them!"

Two Polish women who were standing nearby saw a woman towards the back of the group, wearing a large, heavy, expensive coat. Not waiting for someone else to take the coat before them, they ran to the Jewish woman and knocked her to the ground,grabbed her coat and scurried away.

Moving out of sight of the others, they quickly laid the coat down onthe ground to divide the spoils of what was hiding inside. Rummaging through the pockets, they giddily discovered gold jewelry, silvercandlesticks and other heirlooms. They were thrilled with their find,but as they lifted the coat again, it still seemed heavier than itshould. Upon further inspection, they found a secret pocket, andhidden inside the coat was .... a tiny baby girl!

Shocked at their discovery, one woman took pity and insisted to the other, "I don't have any children, and I'm too old to give birth now. You take the gold and silver and let me have the baby." The Polish woman took her new "daughter" home to her delighted husband. They raised the Jewish girl as their own, treating her very well, but never telling her anything about herhistory. The girl excelled in her studies and even became a doctor, working as a pediatrician in a hospital in Poland.

When her "mother" passed away many years later, a visitor came to pay her respects. An old woman invited herself in and said to thedaughter, "I want you to know that the woman that passed away lastweek was not your real mother ..." and she proceeded to tell her the whole story. She did not believe her at first, but the old woman insisted.

"When we found you, you were wearing a beautiful gold pendant with strange writing on it, which must be Hebrew.

I am sure that your mother kept the necklace. Go and see for yourself." Indeed, the woman went into her deceased mother's jewelry box and found the necklace just as the elderly lady had described. She was shocked. It was hard to fathom that she had been of Jewishdescent, but the proof was right there in her hand. As this was heronly link to a previous life, she cherished the necklace. She had itenlarged to fit her neck and wore it every day, although she thoughtnothing more of her Jewish roots.

Some time later, she went on holiday abroad and came across two Jewish boys standing on a main street, trying to interest Jewish passersby to wrap Tefillin on their arms (for males) or accept Shabbos candles to light on Friday afternoon (for females). Seizing the opportunity, she told them her entire story and showed them the necklace. The boys

confirmed that a Jewish name was inscribed on the necklace but did not know about her status. They recommended that she write a letter to their mentor, the Lubavitcher Rebbe ZT"L, explaining everything. Ifanyone would know what to do, it would be him.

She took their advice and sent off a letter that very same day. She received a speedy reply saying that it is clear from the facts that she is a Jewish girl and perhaps she would consider using her medicalskills in Israel where talented pediatricians were needed. Hercuriosity was piqued and she traveled to Israel where she consulted aRabbinical Court (Beis Din) who declared her Jewish. Soon she was accepted into a hospital to work, and eventually met her husband and raised a family.

In August 2001, a terrorist blew up the Sbarro cafe in the center of Jerusalem. The injured were rushed to the hospital  where this woman worked. One patient was brought in, an elderly man in a state of shock. He was searching everywhere for his granddaughterwho had become separated from him.

Asking how she could recognize her, the frantic grandfather gave a description of a gold necklace that she was wearing.

Eventually, they finally found her among the injured patients.

At the sight of this necklace, the pediatrician froze. She turned to the old man and said, "Where did you buy this necklace?"

"You can't buy such a necklace," he responded, "I am a goldsmith and I made this necklace. Actually I made two identical pieces for each of

my daughters. This is my granddaughter from one of them, and my otherdaughter did not survive the war."

And this is the story of how a Jewish girl, brutally torn away from her mother on a Nazi camp platform almost sixty years ago, was reunited with her father .....

Shidduch Interviews Now On Skype

You can now be interviewed on Skype for a Shidduch!

Mrs Toby Lieder will book you an appointment to discuss with you what your 5 majors are and put you into her database and help you find a Shidduch!

For appointment 

Email to; Toby.lieder@gmail.com

What Hashgocha Protis. Marvellous Story!

During  World War 2  the  Nazi  soldiers  were  trying  to  take  over  one  country  after  another  in  Europe.

My   dear  father in  law, may   he  have  a  Refuah  Shleimah, Mr  Herszl Szmerling, grew  up  in  Kalish, Poland , which  is  the  city  of  the  Ramoh.

During  the  war  his  father  had  a  plan  to  run  away   from  Poland  and  enter  Russia. The   family  was   forced  to  make  the  impossible   decision  whether  to stay   in  Poland  or  try   to  flee.  They  decided  to  take   their  wives  and  children  and  run  away  but  tragically  had  to  leave  the  older   generation  back   in  Kalish...

Whilst  they  were  trying  to  organize  their  escape  they  left   my  father in law  and  his  brother  in  an  orphanage  run  by  Jan  Korszak.

The  Germans  invaded  Poland  and  it   didn't  take  long  before   they   forced  Korzak  and  all   of  the  children  onto  a  train. This  train  was  headed   towards  Auschwitz.  My  father in law  was  a   young  boy  of  seven   but  he  realized  that  if   he   would  reach  the  place  where  the  train  was   headed  there  would  be  little  chance   for  him  to  survive.

He   decided   to  wait  until  the  train  turned  a   corner  and  then  to   jump  out  of  the  moving  train .

He  also  decided  to  try   to  help  save  the  life  of  a  little  Jewish  girl  who  was  also  on   this  train. He   told   the   girl   of  his  plan  and  she   was  very  scared  to  do  it. But  my  father  in law  calmed  her  down  and  told  her  not  to  worry,  and  to  try   to  roll   on   the   ground...When   they   reached  a   turn   in   the  train  tracks  he  held  her  hand  and  they  jumped   out  together.   Thankfully, apart  from  a  small  bruise  they  were  both  fine   and  they  managed   to  run  back  into  Kalish  together  and   go   back  to  their  families.

Now   let's  fast forward  to  the  1980s in  New York.

My  husband  was  a   young  man  of  about  20  years  old  visiting  America  for  the  first  time.

There  was  a  group  of  young  men  going  out  on  one   of  the  nights  of  Chanuka  to  spread  the  light  of  Chanuka  to  Jewish  people  all  over  NY.

My   husband  hopped  onto  one   of  many  "Mitzvah tanks"  and  he   was   dropped  off  in  one   of  the  streets  of  Long  Island. He  went  up  the  stairs  leading  to  a  magnificent  home  and  knocked  on  the  door. 

A  Jewish  lady   answered  the  door, and  asked  him  why  he  was  there.

He  answered  her

"My  name  is  Mordechai  Szmerling  and  I  am  visiting  you  on  behalf  of  Chabad  to  wish  you  a  Happy  Chanukah."

"What   is  your  name  again? "

My   husband   repeated   his  name.

"Where  are  you  from?"

My   husband  answered  that  he  was  from  Melbourne, Australia.

"No,  I   mean  where  is   your  father  from?"

"My  father  is  from  Poland."

"Where   in  Poland?"

" From  the  city  of  Kalish"

And   what   is  your  father's  name?"

"Herszl  or  in Polish  Henyak.".

When  my  husband  said  the  word  Kalish  he  noticed  that  the  lady's  face  had  turned  completely  white.  Then  she  told  him   to  wait  just  a  moment. A  few  minutes  later  she  came back  and  showed   him  a  photograph  of  his  father  as  a  young  boy.

"Do   you  realize  that  your  father  saved  my  life?"  she  said  to  my  husband  with  a  tear    glistening  in  her  eye.

Then  she   told   over  the  story  of  the  train  and  asked  him  all  about  the  family.

Later   on  this  lady  made  a   special  trip  to  Australia  to  meet  my  father in law,  his  brothers   and  all   of  the  family.

Just In Time

A story retold by someone else...😀

Last night i forwarded a 3 tammuz video for kids to my daughter mussie with a comment to her about the video. I only realised after i sent it that i had sent it to an old number that she had had for only a short time after she went to sem a year and a half ago so i resent it to the right number.
This morning i got a reply from this old number:
"This is not mussie, nice video though". 
Curious as i could see from both her profile pic and the fact we are both on  a whatsapp group for lubavitchers  (and that she appreciated the video) that she  is a fellow lubavitcher,  i wrote my name and asked her if we know each other. 
She replied that we dont but sent me the following message. 
"I must tell you that a few months ago I received a text message from this number: "Where are you? I am in the ohel. How are you feeling? Worrying about you". I had no idea who had sent me this text. But it was at a time that I really needed to hear those words. It was at a time that I was not able to personally go to the Ohel (being that I was geographically far from NY) and had desperately wanted to go. It meant so much knowing that someone was at the Ohel, thinking of me. Although you don't know me and didn't mean to text me, it really helped me get past what needed to be worked through at that time. So thank you very much for that 'mistaken' text message!"
As far as i can remember I think i sent my daughter that message from the ohel, i had flown in from the UK,    we were supposed to meet there and she wasnt there and she had told me before i took off that she was feeling a bit under the weather. She never got the message and didnt need too because she showed up a short while later... but the Rebbe arranged the person who needed it got the  message. 

We enjoyed a short whatsapp farbrengen as we marvelled on the Hashgocha protis of it all,  and she told me she got the phone number a year ago. 
Hashgocha protis to its fullest extent!!! 3 Tammuz is approaching. Its obvious Moshiach is on the way!!! Look how the Rebbe takes care of us!!!
I asked her permission to share this story (without her name) as this is yet another way the Rebbe is with us in these last moments of golus.

Forgive