馃尫 What a Warm Story
The phone rang in my New York hotel room. It was 1995, and I was saying Kaddish for my late father, of blessed memory, Joseph Jacobovici. I live in Toronto, but I'm a filmmaker so I move around.
During my eleven months of saying Kaddish, I ended up in various minyans from San Francisco to Halifax. Once, I extended a stopover in Detroit and rushed to the basement of an old synagogue, where I was greeted by nine octogenarians as if I were the Messiah himself. But the phone call in New York was the start of what turned out to be perhaps the most interesting Kaddish experience of them all.
Whenever I had to explain this, people never quite got itI had just finished a documentary film called "The Selling of Innocents." The film won an Emmy, attracting the attention of Oprah Winfrey, the American icon and celebrated TV host. The producer at the other end of the telephone line asked if I could fly to Chicago and appear with my fellow producers on the Oprah show the day after next.
I was taken aback. This was the Oprah show. The big time. Great publicity for the film, and a great promotional opportunity for me and my company.
"I'd love to do it," I said, "but I don't think I can."
"Why not?" the producer asked, her voice betraying her surprise. Nobody says "too busy" to the Oprah show.
"I have a problem," I answered.
The producer's voice, Lisa was her name, became steely-- all business. "What's the problem?" she asked.
"It's complicated."
"Try me," she said.
I began the process of explaining, to a non-Jewish television producer from Chicago, the Jewish ritual of Kaddish.
Whenever I had to explain this, people never quite got it. I would tell them that I need a minyan, and they would drive me to an empty synagogue... It never quite worked out. But this was Oprah.
So I gave it a try.
The rest unfolded like a military operation "I'm Jewish. My father passed away. In our religion it's incumbent upon me, three times a day, to say a certain prayer, a glorification of G‑d's Name, really. It's called Mourner's Kaddish. To do this, I need to be in a 'Jewish quorum.' It's called a minyan... So I can't miss this ritual. If I come to Chicago, I would have to attend morning services prior to being on Oprah."
"No problem," she said. "You need a minyan to say Kaddish. Ten Jewish men. For morning services. I'll arrange it."
"It's not so simple," I said. "You may find a synagogue, but it might not have a minyan in the morning. Or the Jewish community may send you to a synagogue that's open... which wouldn't do the trick for me."
Lisa tried to be patient. "I'll fax your flight information to your hotel. You will be met in Chicago by a limo. The driver will have the minyan information. You will say Kaddish for your father."
The rest unfolded like a military operation. The next day the ticket came. I arrived in Chicago. Then the limo came. The driver took me to a hotel and said, "I'll be here at 6:30 a.m. Your minyan begins at 7 a.m. I'll pick you up at 8 a.m. You'll be at the Oprah show by 8:30 a.m."
The hotel room was beautiful. I slept like a baby. At 6:30 in the morning, I came down and stepped into my limo. There was a newspaper on the seat.
I could get used to this, I thought.
The driver pulled up in front of a downtown office building and told me that there was a Chabad Lubavitch minyan on one of the upper floors.
When I got there, the rabbi looked at me and said, "So you're the guy saying Kaddish. I was warned by the Oprah show that I'd better have a minyan."
We smiled at each other. I was really impressed with Lisa and Oprah. And I felt that my father was surely amused. After prayers, my driver took me to the Oprah show. I was met by Lisa, a black woman in her thirties. She got straight to the point.
"You had a minyan?"
"Yes, thank you," I said.
"Was it proper? Did you say Kaddish?"
"Absolutely. Couldn't be better," I answered.
She looked at me with that look that star surgeons have when they come out of the operating room. Or maybe it's the look that battle commanders have when coming back from a military operation. It's a look that says, "Nothing is too complicated."
I was on Oprah. She was very professional. I had my five minutes of fame. But all I can remember of that day is the Kaddish.
25 Things About Life I Wish I Had Known 10 Years Ago
by DARIUS FOROUX
“I know one thing: that I know nothing.”
25 Awesome tips On Life!
“I know nothing” to me, means that you might be an educated person, but still, you know nothing. You can learn from everything and everyone.
One thing that I like better than learning from my mistakes is to learn from other people’s mistakes. Over the years, I’ve been blessed to have great mentors, teachers, family, friends, that taught me about life.
What you will find below is a list of the most important things I learned from other people and books. Some of the lessons took me a long time to learn—but if I had to learn these things all by myself, it would take me a lot longer.
We might learn things quickly, but we often forget things at the same rate—and sometimes we need to remind ourselves of the things we’ve learned.
Here are 25 of those reminders that others taught me.
- Struggle Is Good
Never say “I can’t take it anymore.” Say “Bring it on!” - Don’t ComplainComplaining is the biggest waste of time there is. Either do something about it, and if you can’t, shut up about it.
- Spend Time With People You Love
That’s your family and best friends. If you don’t have a family, create one. Most people in life are only visitors. Family is for life. - Don’t Start A Relationship If You’re Not In Love
I’ve done this more than once. You kind of like someone and think: “We might as well give it a shot.” Not a good idea. You’re either in love, or you are not. Don’t fool yourself. It’s not fair to you and the other person. - Exercise Daily
I didn’t get this until recently. A healthy body is where you have to start everything in life. If you can’t build a healthy and strong body, what CAN you build in life? - Keep A Journal
No, keeping a journal is not for children. It helps you to become a better thinker and writer. “I don’t want to be a writer” you might think. Well, how many emails and texts do you send a day? Everybody is a writer. - Be Grateful
Say ‘thank you’ to everyone and everything. “Thank you for this beautiful day.” “Thank you for your email.” “Thank you for being there for me.” - Don’t Care About What People Think
We all die in the end, do you really think it matters what people think of you? - Take More Risks
Don’t be such a wimp. - Pick An Industry, Not A Job
If you want to become good at something, you need to spend years and years doing that. You can’t do that if you hop from industry to industry. Pick an industry you love and start at the bottom. You will find the perfect role for you eventually. - Lead The Way
When you find yourself in a situation where everyone looks at each other, it’s time for you to lead. You‘re a leader when you decide to become one. There’s no initiation or a title. Just a decision. - Money Isn’t Important
It really isn’t. But you have to train yourself not to care about money. Don’t become too dependent on the stuff you own — otherwise, the stuff will own you. - Be Nice
I don’t mean you should be a pushover. You can be someone that doesn’t take shit and be nice about it. Just don’t insult people, think you’re better than them, or act like an idiot. - Learn Every Day
You’ve got to train your brain to stay alert. You don’t have to read a book a day to learn every day. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the people around you — be open to what they can teach you. - Rest Before You Are TiredEven if you love your job, and every day seems like a holiday, you need to take time to rest. You’re a human and not an android, never forget that.
- Don’t Judge
Just because people make different choices than you, they are not stupid. Also, you don’t know everything about people, so don’t judge them — help them. - Think About Others
Just be mindful, that’s all. We all have families, bills to pay, and our own issues. Don’t always make everything about yourself. - Give Without Expecting Something In Return
Don’t keep score. You will become a bitter person if you do that. Give solely for the joy of giving. If you get something in return, great, if you don’t, great. - There’s No End Game
We, as a species, just are. Don’t try to figure it all out. Enjoy your journey. - Enjoy Small Things
I like clich茅s because they are true. Especially this one. You know why? Everyone says they know it, but no one lives up to it. They just chase big things. - Don’t Take Yourself So Serious
Yeah, yeah, you’re an individual, and people have to take you seriously, I get it. But at the end of the day, we’re all a bunch of ants trying to chase the same things. Lighten up. - Don’t Blame People
What’s point? Do you want to punish them? You don’t do that to people. Also don’t blame yourself — you’re only human. - Create Something
Not to leave a legacy, you won’t be here to see it anyway, but to be of use. Make music, write a book, build a table, anything. You’ll feel good about yourself, plus you give something back to people to use or enjoy. - Never Look Back Too Long
Reflecting on the past is only good for one thing: Learning. - Take Action
Don’t just sit there, do something. Without action, there is no outcome.